March 27, 2005

Time to get into the Living Wills business

If I wasn't so damn lazy I would exhaust myself and my resources and start peddling Living Wills on the internet and on TV. I know I've seen Will kits and Divorce kits really cheap at stores. Of course it requires the buyer to do a lot of reading to make sure that it is being done properly.
I also know that the "Living Will" discussion is just a fad, and it will be a tough sell in 3 months.
I think if someone can come up with a Will kit or Living Will kit that is 3 pages long, including instructions, there is a fortune to be made.
Of course, the law makes it impossible. Not only do countries have different laws, states and provinces also have different laws.
I know life will become much simpler in the future when laws will be identical everywhere.........except Arabia.

March 19, 2005

New Year's Pic


Daisy and Me Jan 1, 2005 Posted by Hello

March 5, 2005

REASONS FOR NOT HAVING SEX


Being married for 14 loooooooong years I think I've heard every excuse there is. Let me share many of them:

I have a headache
I have a stomach ache
I think I have the flu
I'm have chest palpitations
My twat hurts
I just had a bath
I didn't have a bath
It's too early
It's too late, you should have asked me earlier
Can't you just rub my back without wanting sex
I don't like you right now
You were mean to me today
I'm too tired
I just woke up

And of course there are excuses that are based on the length of the relationship;

When you know the honeymoon is over:
We just had sex yesterday

After 5 years of marriage:
We just had sex three days ago

After 10 years of marriage:
We just had sex last week

March 2, 2005

The Atheist's Bible: Chapter One, The Book of Woody

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

"I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."