I've Had A Revelation: The Invisible Man Under My Bed Exists

My dad has been gone for over five years now, but he is not gone from my memory. He mostly appears to me in my dreams, but every now and then I think about him and it brings back memories.

A few months ago, I remembered that around 40 years ago, my dad told me that there was a Hoogieman under my bed. I believe the Hoogieman is the Jewish term for the Christian Boogeyman, but I haven't verified this connection to date. The idea of a Hoogieman under my bed frightened me as a four year old. I think I even cried about it once or twice. My father even went to the extent of telling me there was no Hoogieman under my bed, to relieve my stress. But reflecting back, it made no sense for him to tell me of his existence in the first place. Why frighten a four year old child for the sake of frightening him. My dad told me God exists too, and the overwhelming majority of people on this planet know this to be true.

I've come to the understanding that my father knew about this invisible man, possibly through oral tradition, because I can't find anything written about an invisible Hoogieman who lives under a bed(s), and I obviously can't ask my father now about how he came to his knowledge of the Hoogieman. I'm not even sure how many Hoogieman's exist, or if it only happens to first borns, or I am special, and I am the only person on this planet alive today who has an invisible man under my bed. But I now know he exists.

I admit, I was skeptical a couple of months ago, when I started to embrace the idea that he might exist, but I've done successful tests, to the point that I've even got to know him personally.

For example, I asked the invisible man under my bed not to murder me or my wife in our sleep on 8 separate occassions. And guess what, we are both alive today. Unscathed.

The next proof has to do with me admitting something I'd rather not here, or even to myself, but I feel compelled to speak out, I have to leave my vanity at the doorstep. In the last 7 years I've had the same mattress, and I've gained 15 pounds in that period. One would expect that over 7 years and having to deal with a heavier load, the mattress would sag. It doesn't. This means that the invisible man must be using his powers to hold up the bed, at least while I am on it. In fact, I've never had a leg break off any of my beds in my life or any bed collapse. Eerie isn't it?

The invisible man under my bed must also have been around since the beginning of time, because how can anyone create a being that exists and is invisible? Unless he was the product of a scientific experiment. But I doubt such technologies existed at least 40 years ago.

I know the invisible is capable of granting wishes too. A month ago at around 11 PM I asked the invisible man to make my wife come into bed with me and initiate sex. Sure enough, 15 minutes later my wife came upstairs a lay down beside me proving once again the invisible man's special powers. But he stopped my wish short as she did not initiate sex, and he then showed his wrath to me for making such a request because he made my wife turn down my advances that night.

The invisible man will also not make my wishes come true when it comes to gambling. I asked him on a couple of occassions to make a horse win a race, and he denied each horse a victory. Again, I attribute this to his set of morals.

I ask any theists who read this not to worry. I am not starting a new cult. But I hope you don't deny the fact that the eternal Hoogieman lives under my bed, because that would just be hypocritical. You have not experienced what I have experienced in the last few months anyways.


Check this out: Radio interview of Richard Dawkins by Penn Jillette

Interview With An Honest Young Earth Creationist

hat tip Lemons and Lollipops

Beaj: Hi John, now you promise to answer all my quesions sincerely and honestly, correct?

John: As God is my witness.

Beaj: Great. Now tell me about your beliefs. How old is the earth and do you believe in evolution?

John: I am a Young Earth Creationist. God created the earth and universe and man all less than 8,000 years ago. Evolution is a crock because God created man in his image. The bible says it is true, so it must be true.

Beaj: But all the scientific evidence points that evolution is fact and the earth and universe is ancient. What do you think about scientific evidence?

John: The scientific evidence can't be true. Besides, there are lots of holes in evolution theory, for one thing it is only a theory.....

Beaj: ...I thought you agreed to be honest. You don't really understand evolution theory do you?

John: No I don't really understand it, and I don't really care to. Unless someone argues against it, I'm not interested. It goes against my literal bible, so I don't want to deal with it. Sorry about being deceitful.

Beaj: Why do you think that there are no scientific studies that prove the earth is young or disprove evolution?

John: There are lots I thought. Lots of good Christians present holes in evolution and ancient earth theory. There are many websites run by good Christians. Why would they lie?

Beaj: Again, I thought you were going to try to be honest and forget about mentioning "holes." If there was merit to a young earth there would be lots of ways to measure it. There would be a way for science to refute the age of fossils and actually measure them as dates of less than 8,000 years, for example. There would be lots of evidence and scientific studies that question or even refute evolution. There are none.

John: Well maybe God put these fossils on the earth to make them appear old.

Beaj: Why would he do that? He wants followers doesn't he? Why would he leave so much evidence that the earth is ancient and that man evolved? And no evidence that the earth is young and that man was created less than 8,000 years ago.

John: Good questions. I don't have all the answers. Only God can answer these types of questions.

Beaj: So you admit that your argument against science is purely based on faith, and you basically have to ignore scientific fact in order to believe what you believe.

John: I guess so. If what you are telling me is true. Are you sure there are no scientific studies that prove the earth is young or that man only goes back 8,000 years?

Beaj: Yes I am sure.

John: Well then, it must be the work of the devil. There is no other explanation possible.

Beaj: Thanks for the interview.

John: You are welcome, and God bless.



Note: John, the honest Young Earth Creationist, was purely fictional and does not exist.

For a rhetorical assmonkey argument against Atheism please go here and check out his second last post too. Warning: verbal diarrhea alert.

UPDATE: Looks like Mr. Rhetoric, the clinical psychologist, decided to with a third post.

The World Needs More Muslims Like This Guy

This guy tells it like it is. Of course, many Muslims are going to hate his words, but hopefully he and those like him will inspire the reformation that is badly needed in the Islamic world.

Interesting that he blames the Imams and Mosques. This is what Walid Shoebat has been telling us for years:


Mosques in the West need to be bugged. And those preaching hate should be jailed or deported. This isn't a solution, but it is a good start.

Thanks to Jaakobou for sending me the first video.

The Atheist Jew Does Country

I know what many of you non believers are thinking: "Why am I torchering you with my voice?" I also know what many of you believers are thinking: "How typical that an Atheist would pick a song about an illicit affair, at the best it is premarital sex, but most likely involved adultery for at least one of the parties involved. You Atheists have no morals, your choice of song proves it."

Here is the thing. I've been married for over 16 years now, and I have never cheated once. Not even a kiss, let alone jamming my tongue down some chicks throat while mindlessly drunk. Sure, I've lusted over other chicks; In my dreams, watching TV, etc. I've even done other chicks in my dreams, in fact I've done lots of them. But it is morals and ethics that separates my fantasy world with the real world. I know that I made a commitment to my wife, and I also know that if I fooled around it would hurt her.

Morality isn't about God. The 10 Commandments were man made, and many of the commandments were obvious while many were a way to try to control the flock. Things that made us guilty, were written in stone, so to speak.

Guilt evolved in us. Dogs can feel guilt. If our ancestors jumped from one cave to the next right after intercourse, man would not be here today. A pregnant mother or a mother with an infant wouldn't make a great hunter. Man would have starved ourself into extinction. Something had to make the caveman stay for at least 3 years, and guilt of not caring for the momma, had to be a big thing.
It could easily be argued that anything that makes us feel guilty is an immoral act. The more guilty we feel, the more immoral the act was.

Don't get me wrong, if I could have a guilt free affair, I probably would. We only live once. But being an ethnic Jew, I've evolved a lower guilt threshold than many of you ethnic gentiles.

This post reminds me of one of my favorite comedy scenes. The one from Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear. I couldn't find the clip on Youtube, but I did find the dialogue:

Lt. Frank Drebin: You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman.
[Ed looks increasingly disgusted as Frank goes on]
Lt. Frank Drebin: You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs..."
[Ed starts foaming at the mouth... literally]
Lt. Frank Drebin: I just want love, Ed.
Ed Hocken: I'm sure you'll... find love, Frank.

Proving Prayer Is Hooey

Here is a pretty good attempt at showing how prayer is ridiculous. Well, ridiculous if you think God answers prayers.



The video originates from the site Why Won't God Heal Amputees. Lots of good stuff there, and its sister site, God is Imaginary.

Again, I will take a realist approach to prayer. I can see where prayer could benefit a believer. Lets call it The Little Engine That Could phenomenon. There are a few studies out there that indicate that ones mood and optimism could affect the healing process, or even help with longevity if a disease is terminal.

Here is an interesting article on how fear could have a hormonal affect that causes cancer.

One's emotion is often linked to illness recovery and even frequency of illness. This leads me to believe that believers have an advantage over Realists when it comes to combatting illness.

Now I know there was a study recently which implied that knowing that people prayed for an ill person didn't help the ill person at all. The problem with this study was that it required ill people to think strangers were praying for them. It isn't the same as knowing loved ones are praying for them.

There are even studies that show that regular church goers live longer than non church goers and non believers. Here is one.

Giving up reality and fooling myself for a couple more years of life just doesn't appeal to me. Maybe when I get sick, just the idea of friends and loved ones praying for me will give the satisfaction to fight whatever I wind up with. Maybe believers still serve a function.