February 28, 2006

The Bronze Rat Joke


This is one of my all time favorites:

A man walks into a curio shop in Haifa. Looking around at the exotica, and he notices a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He took it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"

"Twelve shekels for the rat, one hundred shekels for the story," said the owner. The man gave the man twelve shekels. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and began following him down the street. This was disconcerting, he began walking faster. But within a couple blocks, the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing . He began to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the edge of the Bay, and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after it, and were all drowned.


The man walked back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," said the owner, "you have come back for the story?"
"No," said the man, I came back to see if you have a bronze Arab

Now, for the best blonde joke ever: click here.

February 27, 2006

ATHEIST OF THE MONTH (Hint: She is a member of Mensa)


In a world where the majority of porn stars believe in god and don't appear very bright, it is refreshing to see that Asia Carrera doen't get on her knees for the lord as well.

Thanks to Minister of Rants for the find.

Asia's real name is Jessica Andrea Steinhauser, and she was born August 6th, 1973.

" I've always been an atheist," says Asia."Science explains everything. Religion is silly."

You know, I've never cheated on my wife. And I've never done an Asian chick, not even half Asian. A porn star Atheist who belongs to Mensa would sure be tempting. I'll have to think about it.

February 26, 2006

For The Guys and Ellen Degeneres


Rated: Janet Jackson Nipple Slip Territory. Note: by clicking this link and making requests of the virtual girlfriend you are not cheating.

Thanks to Ramsey for finding this one.

Can I Still Brag About This?


This picture was taken at the Skydome around 6 years ago. Wow time flies. My sister dressed my niece up in anticipation of what Shania was going to wear. They were in the first row and sure enough, Shania spotted the little devil and brought her on stage with her. The picture even appeared in the Toronto Star.

My Worst Bacon and God To Date


I mean worst as in unfunny. I usually think of the punchline as I write the comic. This time I worked around a punchline. Yep, it is a lame cartoon.