February 19, 2005

Ah, the good old single days

It was over 15 years ago. My buddy caught his long time girlfriend cheating on him and he was depressed. She just moved out, so I allowed myself to be his shoulder to cry on. We went to a bar that for me had a 0.00 POI ratio (probability of intercourse).
The place was fairly dead, I think it was a Tuesday or Wednesday. We got in a discussion about how women are sluts and it really got me in a chauvinist mood (more than usual).
Anyways, there was a couple of girls and one in particular, not great looking but not bad either, drew my attention as a potential notch on my belt. Boy was I cocky that night. She started off totally disgusted in my chauvinistic approach., and seemed sympathetic to my friends story.
As the night wore on and the drinks kept coming, she was really starting to look quite attractive, but she was saying things like "you are the type of guy that walks into a bar and thinks he can walk out with a girl" like I had no chance with her or something.
Anyways, my friend left and I can't remember what happened to her friend, and for some reason I got her on the dance floor and we were grinding. She told me she has to go because her last train was about to leave (she lived on the outskirts of Toronto with her parents). I told her, just tell your parents that you are sleeping at a friends place, and you can sleep at my place, I promise not to try anything. I can't believe she fell for that.
I honestly thought I had no chance and she wasn't that type of chick.
We took a cab to my place, she was out of cigarettes, and me being the gentleman that I am, went to get some.
As she lit up, I played my number one foreplay tape, KICK by INXS. I gave her a robe to wear. When she came out of the bathroom, I led her to the bedroom and promised to her that we would just sleep.
I waited about three seconds and pounced on top of her jamming my tongue down her throat. She reciprocated but also reminded me that I promised not to do anything.
Then in her next breath she mentioned how hard I was, and that she wanted it.
I complied.
After the first time, she lit up a smoke in the living room and I pretended I really liked her.
She told me that she felt a little guilty because she had a boyfriend in Arizona. I just laughed at that idea.
We went back to the bedroom, and lets just say, she wasn't too fellatio challenged, in fact did a Hoover number on my penis without any solicitation by me whatsoever( normally I like to grab a chix ears to give her a hint). It was like she never saw one before.
I saw her one more time after that, and I lived up to my promise: nothing happened.

1 comment:

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