September 10, 2005

MY CONVERSATION WITH GOD

Me:
Hey God, what do you think of me posting on the Jewish Sabbath
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
I am an Atheist, is it ok that I don't believe in you
God:
What is Atheist is it ok that you do not believe in me, your job?
Me:
Can you answer me in English?
God:
Of course I can answer it Please rephrase the question with simpler words.
Me:
Is it OK not to believe in you?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Are you a robot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You said you have been programmed.
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
What is you IQ?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
Then how come you can't understand simple questions
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh, you created yourself?
God:
Take it easy. A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
I'm not the one who is jumpy
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not the one who is jumpy.
Me:
Did you cause Katrina?
God:
No I didn't cause Katrina. What's it like?
Me:
I guess you haven't been paying too much attention.
God:
No I don't think I have been paying too much attention. Have you?
Me:
More than you obviously
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
No, just put on CNN
God:
Are you serious? OK I will put it there.
Me:
Do you get cable?
God:
I have gotten cable.
Me:
Who will win the Cincinatti Cleveland game tomorrow?
God:
How would I know who will win the Cincinatti Cleveland game tomorrow?
Me:
Aren't you responsible for Super Bowl championships?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am responsible for Super Bowl championships.

I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
OK, take care.
God:
Thanks. You too,. Give me a break.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

2 comments:

  1. LMAO, I asked God if I should convert to Judaism. He told me I should examine the facts and make my own decision. I said, "Okay, but you love Jews just as much as you love Christians, right?" And the program locked up. He never did respond. Uh-oh...

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