March 21, 2007
REASONS FOR NOT HAVING SEX 2007
I am suffering from temporary writer's block. So I decided to repost something I wrote over 2 years ago. I've made a couple of changes, so as not to plagiarize myself.
Being married for 16 loooooooong years, I think I've heard every excuse there is. Let me share some with you:
I have a headache
I have a stomach ache
I think I have the flu
My back is really bothering me today
I'm having chest palpitations
I feel like throwing up
I just had a bath
I didn't have a bath
I'm bleeding tonight
I don't feel like it
It's too early, maybe later
It's too late, you should have asked me earlier
Can't you just massage my back without wanting sex
I don't like you right now
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow
You were mean to me today
I'm too tired
I just woke up
I just washed the sheets
We'll have sex tomorrow
My twat hurts
And of course there are excuses that are based on the length of the relationship;
When it starts going downhill:
"I really don't like it when you wake me up for sex."
When you know things have changed for good:
"We just had sex yesterday."
After 5 years of marriage:
"We just had sex three days ago."
After 10 years of marriage:
"We just had sex last week."
After 15 years of marriage:
"I can't believe you are watching porn, all you do is think about sex. Grow up."
See also Poor Excuses For Not Having Sex. Funny stuff. Good intelligent analysis.