May 11, 2008

Genesis 1:27; Does God Have An Asshole?

I still don't understand how any grown up person can read a few lines of any bible and not figure out that it is a fairy tale. But the world is full of those who refuse to make that connection.

Still, there are many fundamentalists who swear that man was created in God's image, and in many interpretations, so were women.

Here are a few translations of Genesis 1:27. Of course, God's English isn't exactly perfect:

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

King James Bible
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

American King James Version
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Jewish Publication Society Tanakh
And God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.

The anti-evolutionists and other YECs believe there is nothing allegorical about this verse. They "know" evolution can't be true, because he God created he man in he's image (that is my translation). They also "know" that all science that refutes or even attempts to refute Genesis 1:27 is not real science, but feeble attempts to disprove God.

Ok, so then, if man was created in God's image, and that is why evolution is false, then it has to be concluded that God has an asshole. My only question to creationists: Is God's asshole only for show, or does it serve a function?


  1. I had a reply, complete with reference to the Hebrew original wording but twice I got a "failed operation" message from the machinery. this is the last attempt, just to tell you I've got interesting answers to give you many times, but the platform is just horrible. If you move somewhere else I will replying more. at the moment, I've given up. Google has the best QA and usability testers on GoogleApps but none here. DO consider an independent Wordpress site or something similar? Till then, I'll just read the RSS.

  2. Asshole smashole, I want to know that if the Biblical god is a male then what purpose does his penis serve?

  3. Silly man, god has millions of assholes.

  4. "I still don't understand how any grown up person can read a few lines of any bible and not figure out that it is a fairy tale."

    I couldn't agree more!

  5. It's obvious. God is a hermaphrodite.

  6. God doesn't have an asshole, but you are one.

  7. I always thought it was Fred Phelps.

    Or maybe he's more of God's raging yeast infection.

  8. Is God's asshole only for show, or does it serve a function?

    Nobody ever asked me that before. The world is definitely in my image.

  9. I'm impressed by the concise eloquence of the Jewish philosopher.

  10. The Bible was written BY man to control man.


  11. I was doing a lil web surfin when i stumble upon this site created by a man that credits himself to be a "legend". I find it funny and sad that all the people who blog here find it necessary to voice their personal beliefs, or lack of, regarding the subject of the existence of God. It's great that you don't believe in God and such, but please note that your beliefs do not effect what is real and what is not. You may believe that chickens are able to lay golden eggs, but just because you believe so, does not make it so. I have my own personal beliefs, but i also understand that to voice them in this blog would be a waste of my time, so i wont bother. I only want to comment on how pathetic it is that some people voice their views/beliefs in the hope of recognition and some form of comfort that they are correct, and that they are not insecure individuals that are perplexed by the smallest indictation that they are not their own God. Perhaps it is time to develop out of preconvential morality and develop a sense of acceptance of the old age principle "To each their own" and stop insulting other people's beliefs. Respect beliefs even if you disgree, you have a right to disagree, just be mature about it.... just grow up!!

  12. Yourrant, if there was total separation of church and state, including getting prayer out government, schools, etc. and most importantly, getting God and creation out of the schools, I probably wouldn't blog about atheism.
    Lets not forget the fight to not have gay marriages.
    But, separation of church and state isn't there yet. So I blog.

  13. The deity definitely had an asshole, but he/she used it up creating us in his/her image.

  14. Recently, a new generation of Biblical literature was discovered in the Middle East that easily rectifies any confusion about God's asshole, evolution, etc. The name of these scriptures is The Hyphocretes.

    The Hyphocretes clarifies that the earth was created in 10 days, not seven.

    "On the 8th day, God observed that he had only created one man and one woman, and they were lonely. For them to be fruitful and multiply, a more genetically diverse population would be required. Therefore, God tooketh a huge dump, and from his dump came forth Jadyn and Eva.

    On the 9th day, God realized that Adam, Eve, Jadyn, and Eva were lonely, and all was not good. As an almighty deity who could never make mistakes, God was forced to act quickly. Therefore, from the anus of God came forth an Almighty Wind, and so were born Adam and Steve.

    On the 10th day, God realized that Adam and Steve were drawneth to each other, and would not be fruitful and multiply. God sighed, looked the other way, and said 'I am going to take a nap'".

  15. WHy would god have/need an anus? Since god is a non-physical and, probably, imaginary being it's ludicrous to pose such questions.
    Someone made the comment that the bible was written by men to control men. In all seriousness I don't think that's true. I think it was a sincere early attempt to understand the world in its entirety in a primitive time before science existed, so there was very little to go on as it were. I don't think the idea of controlling masses of people with doctrine would even have occurred to anyone at the time. Ridiculing these early attempts is like ridiculing a small child before he/she has learned anything about the world. Would we hold up their first finger paintings or writings and say-look everyone, look how stupid they are? Criticizing the bible in the way many do amounts to the same thing as far as I can see.

  16. The sole purpose of god's penis, is for himself, just like everything else. He uses it to come in his robe as he screws over mankind day after day..