Dear Mr. Swanson

Dear Mr. Swanson, if you can't figure out how to make it so a brownie cooks the same time as the rest of a frozen dinner, don't put the brownie in the dessert slot. No self respecting man is going to microwave for four minutes, gently take the brownie out of the tray, and then cook the rest for another 2 minutes.

For one thing, where am I supposed to put the dang brownie.  I'm not going to eat it first.  No self respecting man eats dessert first.

Surely in today's day and age you can think of a dessert that needs six minutes to cook.  I don't care what it is.  Let it be apple sauce for all I care.  Nobody buys a frozen dinner because of the dessert.  They buy them for convenience sake.  And it isn't convenient to carve out a brownie and dirty up a clean plate when you have a perfectly good disposable tray to eat the entire dinner from.

Isn't it humiliating enough for me to buy and eat a frozen dinner to begin with.  Are you purposely trying to strip me of the last shred of dignity I have left?

The only thing I can conclude is that someone in your company is making royalties for every brownie sold.  Maybe someone who has photographs of you in bed with someone other than Mrs. Swanson, perhaps?