"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
"I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
Ya know, you crack me da f*ck up. ;-)
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