March 2, 2005

The Atheist's Bible: Chapter One, The Book of Woody

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

"I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."

1 comment:

  1. Ya know, you crack me da f*ck up. ;-)