March 5, 2005

REASONS FOR NOT HAVING SEX


Being married for 14 loooooooong years I think I've heard every excuse there is. Let me share many of them:

I have a headache
I have a stomach ache
I think I have the flu
I'm have chest palpitations
My twat hurts
I just had a bath
I didn't have a bath
It's too early
It's too late, you should have asked me earlier
Can't you just rub my back without wanting sex
I don't like you right now
You were mean to me today
I'm too tired
I just woke up

And of course there are excuses that are based on the length of the relationship;

When you know the honeymoon is over:
We just had sex yesterday

After 5 years of marriage:
We just had sex three days ago

After 10 years of marriage:
We just had sex last week

7 comments:

  1. Since you were mean to me today I am not going to comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, why DOES a back rub have to mean sex?

    BTW, if I haven't showered....that is a REASON to have sex in our house.

    I guess we just appreciate pheramones.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How about this one?

    I don't find you attractive anymore, you're to fat. I prefer porn on the internet over sex with you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is the excuse guys give to wives.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How about I can't right now because Leroy the black guy up the street banged the hell outta me while you where at work and I can hardly walk. Where's the heating pad?

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is good one too, but my wife rarely tells me the truth.

    ReplyDelete