January 15, 2007

Stereotype Meme

Since it is MLK day in the US, I figure it is as good a day as any to start a Stereotype Meme. If you intend to be PC, don't even bother trying this. Potential targets? Jews, Blacks, Asians, Fundies, Atheists, Arabs, Muslims, Agnostics, Catholics, Pro-Lifers, Pro-Choicers, Vegetarians, Republicans, Moonbats, Democrats, Liberals, Progressive Conservatives, YECs, NDPs, Satanists, Scientists, Pro Athletes, or anything you can think of.

This is what triggered the idea to start this:

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.

ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a hooker.

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.

ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!

ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

ATHIEST DAD: Why not?

ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.

ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?

ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!

ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

Hat tip: Fundies Say The Darndest Things

Just a few corrections to the author, Prince of Pain: "AthIEst" is spelled AthEIst, "eachother" is really two words, and Atheists do not claim to be tolerant of all religions. Other than that, I think you nailed us Atheists.

In the comment section over at FSTDT, a couple of people already gave it a try:

Here is one by szenah. What it would be like if fundies were the majority:

Fundie kid: "Mom, I'm going to go beat up some fags."

Fundie mom: "Okay, dear, just be back in time for our afternoon prayers and blood-drinking ritual."

Fundie kid: "Of course. God will want to know what a good job I did defeating his enemies. Maybe I can kill one of them today."

Later, the fundie dad gets home from work and beats his wife to establish his Godly dominance in the family.

Fundie wife: "Thank you, dear. I'm so relieved that I have a real Christian man for a husband. Now can you pray for the healing of my broken nose and concussion?

Fundie husband: "Not until you have finished scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, you sinful daughter of Eve." He goes to get his belt and stand over her as she scrubs, beating her if she misses a spot, in spite of her broken arm.

Suddenly a neighbor rushes in. "Come quick, we found a child reading a Harry Potter book. She's tied to a stake now and we're gathering wood for the fire. We need all the good Christians there to shout at the witch as she burns."

The fundies rush out, grabbing twigs from their yard as they go. "Praise God, it's so good that we have the chance to kill another heathen. We've burned five children in this neighborhood alone this year. The Lord is good."


And this from John making fun of Fundies too:

FUNDIE'S KID: Mom, I'm going to church.
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, son.
FUNDIE'S KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go read the Bible with my friends."
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The kid leaves the room snickering and goes out to fuck a hooker and smoke pot. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

FUNDIE DAD: Hey!
FUNDIE MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again."
FUNDIE DAD: Jesus Christ! How'm I gonna to make the payments on my new pickup truck? And what about the big-screen TV we wanted? Hell, we don't even have medical insurance. Okay, you better get an abortion. Just don't tell our friends!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
FUNDIE NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Jew movin' into the neighborhood!
FUNDIE MOM: We'll be right there!

The fundie couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a fundie is nailing together a large, wooden X. They set it on the new neighbor's lawn and light it on fire. A crowd of fundies stand around, all wearing white robes and hoods.

RANDOM FUNDIE: Damn you, Jew! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we fundies are hypocritical like that! Die, Jew!

THE END


************The rules are that there has to be a mom, dad, kid, neighbor, and random character. You have to start with the premise "what if...."
Length doesn't matter, it is just the quality that counts
(where have I heard that before?). If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your creation in my comment section. Warning: this is harder than it looks, and takes some creativity.

Meme trivia: the term Meme (rhymes with "theme") was coined by Atheist guru, Richard Dawkins, in 1976, and the word has evolved very much since then.

OK, now here goes my shot at this (I'm just going to use the anti-Atheists template).

What would it be like if Moonbats were in charge of the Western world:

MOONBAT SON: Mom, I'm going to Mosque.

MOONBAT MOM: Excellent idea son. Even though we don't believe in what Islam teaches, it is important that we do what Muslims want, or they might kill us if they get pissed off.

MOONBAT KID: (After coming home from the Mosque) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. The government is still making people who enter the country use passports. We must put a stop to this.

MOONBAT MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.

MOONBAT SON: What are we having? Porkchops? Just kidding, I know that pork is banned.

The moonbat son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

MOONBAT DAD: Hi darling, I agreed to take in a new boarder. You'll like him.

MOONBAT MOM: Of course I will. Is he a murderer who came from a broken home, like our last boarder?

MOONBAT DAD: No, this time it is a serial child molester who came from a broken home.

MOONBAT MOM: That is great. We'll reform him. He just needs a chance.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes, it is important for us to gain his trust.

MOONBAT MOM: Good idea, I'll set the up bunk beds in our son's room. That will make him trust us.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes. And make sure you give our new boarder choice if he wants the top or the bottom.

MOONBAT MOM: I just hope he doesn't think we are coming on too strong, and thinks that we are phonies. Remember, he is a victim. We must nurture him accordingly.

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

MOONBAT NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there is an Arab with a machine gun!

MOONBAT MOM: We'll be right there!

The Moonbat couple goes outside to join the MOONBAT crowd gathered around the Arab. The Arab is looking to see if there are any Jews left in the neighborhood. The Moonbat couple can only think of the people 6 houses down because they have a Jewish sounding last name, but they aren't sure if they are Jews or not because they don't look Jewish.

RANDOM MOONBAT: I never liked those people anyways. They didn't come to the Cindy Sheehan lecture at the stadium.....Remember Rachel Corrie!

THE END

Anyone can do this. I tag everyone. I especially tag Southfield at Keeping Up With The Blogses, Michael at A Few Random Thoughts, and Lex at Gripes of Wrath.

42 comments:

  1. Today, your blog is a real piece of shit, Arab boy. You are not amusing, entertaining and have never seen factual. You need a real job instead of sports betting and your work at home Fortune 500 loser job. If you are not in psychotherapy, you should be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's mine for if the whole world was Rickey.

    Rickey#1: Dribble.

    Rickey#2: Scratches anus, smells finger.

    Rickey#3: Dribble, gargle, dribble.

    Ricky#2: Scratces anus and sucks finger.

    Ricky#1: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, bark, bark, dribble.

    ReplyDelete
  3. choosedoubt felches Arab boy blog host and please take this opportunity to GFY, faggot.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've given me a hard task with this one:-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the Rickey theme here is my entry.

    Rickey: Hey mom I want to nail my cousin Joe he has butt like a frog.
    Rickey Mom: Oh sure Rickey your father smacked that.
    Rickey Dad: Hey Rickey make sure you 2 bag it I got them crabs from him not too mention I already had the drippy kind of HIB’s.
    Rickey: Gee thanks Mom and Dad first I’ll finish up with this rim job on rover then I’m off to see Joe for some good lubin….
    Rickey Dad: You know son I’m sure proud of you. I always knew you would be a sick pervo just like me someday ;-).
    Rickey: Well dad you know what they say the apple don’t fall far from the tree and they don’t call me the Ccok master for nothing.
    Rickey Mom: Ain’t that the truth.
    Rickey: Gee thanks Mom well you know I sort of felt like I owed you one for having me all those years ago.
    Rickey: You know I just wish I could the smell of Dad’s drip out of my beard.
    Rickey Mom: You know son that isn’t your real Dad he ran off when I hooked up with the mail man.
    Rickey: Well who the heck is he then?
    Rickey Dad: Oh Rickey didn’t your Mom ever tell you I’m her brother and you are the product of incest that’s why you is so stupidish.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Atheist One, Ye of Little Faith

    What if Tom Brady planned to throw the interception?

    As Tom Brady dropped back to pass, fourth down and five yards to go for a first, trailing by eight points, over half way through the fourth quarter, the situation looked hopeless for the Patriots. His deep receivers were well covered, and a completion to one of them was highly unlikely. The most probable outcome of a deep pass was an incompletion, and the Chargers would get the ball with good field position and just run out the clock with LaDainian Tomlinson.

    A short pass would have been easy to complete, but the Charger linebackers had dropped deep enough to be able to tackle the receiver before he made first-down yardage. The Chargers would take over at the spot of the tackle.

    At this point Tom Brady’s brilliance took charge. “If I throw an easy interception, what could happen? If I make it easy enough, the defensive back will be able to catch it instead of dropping it or knocking it down like any smart, well-trained defensive player would. Since these guys were coached by Marty, I just know they’ll do the dumbest thing and catch it.

    “Then what happens? Anyone dumb enough to intercept it would be dumb enough to try to make a big play instead of just falling down and covering the ball. Then it’ll be easy to strip the ball, and recover the fumble. We get a first down at the spot of the fumble recovery, even if it’s not far enough downfield to get a first down if a Patriot receiver caught it.

    “Here McCree, don’t drop it for God's sake!”


    I revised my post of yesterday "Really Dumb Football Players", and now recognize Tom Brady's brilliance. Tom was so damn smart that it took me half a day to figure it out. And the smartest thing he did was realize he could count on a Marty coached team to do really dumb things. He wasn't disappointed.

    I agree with you. I like New Orleans. Good balance running and passing, good balance offense and defense. They beat a well-balanced, well-coached, well-quarterbacked Eagles team. Chicago struggled to beat a mediocre Seahawks team that lost twice to the 49ers.

    The Colts should be able to handle the Patriots since the Patriots almost don't have a running attack.

    Super Bowl, Saints over Colts.

    Who dat say who dat, gwine to beat dem Saints?

    Oh Atheist One, how can you root for a team named "Saints"?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jhrhv and CD, Rickey loves it when you talk dirty about him. He really does.

    Brady didn't win 3 Super Bowls by not understanding the enemy.

    And Saints is just Aints with an S in front of it for show.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Er, ummm, you misspelled atheist.
    So Rickey's a big fan of yours, hmmmm? Hehehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Who misspelled Atheist? It wasn't moi. It was the Fundy who wrote the original dialogue.
    Yes, Rickey is a groupie. Sort of like those two old guys on the Muppet Show.

    ReplyDelete
  10. BEAJ:
    It was the Fundy who wrote the original dialogue.
    Oops, my bad. Shoulda known better.
    Actually, it's that dratted 'i before e' rule that makes most folks misspell it. I'm incredibly anal when it comes to typos.
    Yes, Rickey is a groupie.
    You always seem to bring out the best in some people. ;)
    Speaking of memes.
    Tag, you're it!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, here's mine, BTW:
    NEOCON SON: Mom, I'm going to a prayer meeting.
    NEOCON MOM: Excellent idea son. Remember to pray to kill all those activist judges.
    NEOCON KID: (later that afternoon) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. Imagine: some people actually think that a clump of cells ISN’T a real human being.
    NEOCON MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.
    NEOCON SON: Steak and potatoes again? Hmmm, that’s good eatin’! Who needs diversity?
    The NEOCON son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
    NEOCON DAD: Hi darling. Is dinner ready?
    NEOCON MOM: Very soon. Go watch Fox News. We all know that’s the only REAL news show.
    NEOCON DAD: Yesirree, white man’s news for white men. Good xtian white folks.
    NEOCON MOM: We all know that everything wrong with this country is Clinton’s fault. That, and those godless liberals.
    NEOCON DAD: Aiding and abetting terrorists by daring to criticize anything. That’s right.
    NEOCON MOM: Harrumph! They should just pack their bags and leave. Diversity is the Devil’s trap.
    NEOCON DAD: Oooh, I love it when you talk propaganda! Here, let me take a blue pill. Should take me a week to get a woody.
    NEOCON MOM: I’ll be waiting, darling. Ten more kids, we’ll have our own in-house anti-intellectual mob!
    (Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.)
    NEOCON NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there’s an LGBT representative trying to recruit our children!
    NEOCON MOM: We'll be right there!
    The NEOCON couple goes outside to join the NEOCON crowd gathered around the Gay Rights Activist. Cries of ‘Boo!’, ‘Hiss!’ and ‘Think of the children!’ can be heard. They tar and feather the activist, and run him/her out of town on a rail, singing ‘Onward Christian soldiers’.
    RANDOM NEOCON: I always hated those people anyways. It’s all part of the Radical Gay Agenda! Oops, lost my tinfoil hat.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yay! Christians may be athy but we're the athiest. (Man, I love sarcasm)

    Other than that, it's quite sad.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Atheist Jew,
    i think u went out of the path there, it was about theism/atheism, and as far as i know "Arabism!" isnt a religion.
    If u assumed that ALL arabs are muslims, ur wrong, if u assumed that all muslims are terrorists, wrong again.
    There are christian arabs, Atheist arabs, muslim arabs and even more..
    And if u think Jews are ALL angels, also wrong..
    it's like saying: "french are all nice", same point. but never TRUE.
    CheerZ

    ReplyDelete
  14. KA, yes it bugs me too that believers can spell theist but have a problem spelling atheist.
    I'll get to the meme in a few days. And I always thought Neocon was the new code word for Elders of Zion.

    Zoop, at least this Fundy had a good sense of humor.

    Milano, I know the difference. However, I think I made it clear to most readers that in the meme I produced, the Arab was a Muslim Arab.
    And I'm not asking anyone produce a meme that has anything to do with religion. It is up to the reader. Someone did one on crazy people already. But that person didn't sound like she meant Muslim Arabs....but she could have.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think it might be true that all French are cheese eating surrender (ass) monkey's though.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Okay, beaj...I have completed your assignment.
    But, then you knew I would, didn't you?

    ReplyDelete
  17. BEAJ:
    And I always thought Neocon was the new code word for Elders of Zion.
    ?!?!?!? No, that moonbatese for Neo-conservative. Hehehehe.

    jhrhv:
    Hey, I like the French. Maybe they can't fight their way out of a wet paper bag, but that's not always a BAD thing.
    Until you get invaded, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  18. BEAJ: I am not ignoring your tag; I'll get to this tomorrow, prob'ly...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Michael (Major Turd) Combs pic looks like he married his mom.

    ReplyDelete
  20. jhrhr & the gordo Arab boy blog host went to the same apostrophe school it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Why do you call them "Moonbats"? It sounds like my childhood...

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  22. Rickey, take something for your meltdown.

    Professor, good to see you here. Someone has to be Moonbats, or else the word would lose all meaning. BTW, did you have to share your bedroom with many sex offenders while growing up?

    ReplyDelete
  23. beaj--

    Hilarious post. St. Pancake was a nice touch there at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  24. An "athiest" is someone who doesn't believe in the "diety."

    The diety is probably Dr. Atkins.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I see Rickey posted almost the same "Michael (Major Turd) Combs pic looks like he married his mom." as he did with me. That sounds like the kind of taunting I heard on school yards yelled out by the thickest kids. I deleted his comment, but probably should have left it because up to that point I had a policy of never deleting anything. I thought such petty name calling was a total waste, and then delected it, but in retropect I realize it tells a lot about Rickey and his frothing-at-the-mouth kind, and should have been preserved as an example of what happens when a mind, and a sense of personal dignity, is lost.

    Since I posted pictures and stories of Alice, my late first wife Marilynn, and my late Mom, and all three are and were gorgeous, I count myself among the most fortunate of men to have been surrounded by beautiful, smart, and strong-willed women all my life. Go to my index of blogs, now the first post on my website, and go to my stories of "Great Expectations," "Big and Smart," and "Warm thoughts of a cold, wet winter night."

    And Rickey, thanks for reminding me of all I am thankful for.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Major, I left the post, not out of disrespect to you, but out of disrespect to Rickey.

    We all know he is insane. If you want to see how insane, click his name, it leads to a blog dedicated to me.

    He really hates US army and ex army soldiers (I knew he would attack you). I think he is a Muslim Paki....but I can't confirm it yet.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Good friend, I knew you didn't do it to disrespect of me. In fact, when I saw it in these comment I was grateful you left it, because I was already regretting deleting Rickey's comment on my blog for the same reason you left it on yours. I wanted to disrespect him too, and the best way to do that is to just let his words speak for him.

    As a "weak-kneed agnostic," I appreciate your able defense of the atheist religion, and I also think you have hit many nails on the head in discussing Israel. One you may be missing is that most conservative Americans, regardless of religion or the lack of religion, support Israel because we value the same love of liberty in Israel that we cherish so much in our own lives.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Atheism is not a religion. All it is is a non belief in deities and the supernatural.
    I'm aware many conservatives support Israel because of alike Western values, but some support Israel because they need it to complete their Armegeddon fantasies.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Atheism is a belief system, because it is a belief there is no god. Since the existence or non-existence of god cannot be proven, both views are supported by belief alone. A lack of proof proves nothing.

    That's why being an agnostic is the only logical approach. We accept that god has not been proven or disproven, and probably never will be. Actually, god can never be disproven, but god could possibly prove god's existence.

    Why god would, I haven't a clue.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Major, let me try to explain this way:
    Is not believing in an invisible man under my bed a belief system?
    Is not believing Joe Smith's Mormon story a belief system?
    Is not believing the Sun is really God a belief system?

    I can't disprove any of the above, but all the above are possible beliefs that are all unprovable.

    ReplyDelete
  31. It sounds like Mike Coomb's mom dressed him in girls clothes when he was little.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Faith is defined as the firm belief in something for which there is no proof. Atheism is unquestionably a religion, because it is a firm belief system.

    All religions so far are firm belief systems too. God is accepted as a matter of faith, not proof.

    Michael Crichton agrees with me on all that.

    Well, actually, he would agree with me if he ever heard of me, but then he would probably say it was me agreeing with him.

    One thing we can agree on is Rickey is one infantile muthah.

    Actually, we agree on a lot. I think atheism is a belief system, since the existence of god can't be disproven. And so far hasn't been proven, either.

    But a lack of proof proves nothing. And disproves nothing. In the end the logical position on the pedestal is occupied soley by the agostic. And we're just waiting for god to knock us off it.

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  33. Major, you are wrong here. Instead of me going in further discussion about this. Please read here.

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  34. I would like to ask Mikey Combs who the fossil is standing next to him in his profile pic.

    ReplyDelete
  35. He really hates US army and ex army soldiers (I knew he would attack you). I think he is a Muslim Paki....but I can't confirm it yet. >>>>>

    Let's clarify this, buttmunch: Your views come from one that never served in any sort of military, much less the IDF. I do not hate the US Army, ex soldiers, etc. What I despise are those REMF pogues that refer to themselves with military rank on the internet. They are prime examples of stolen valor and are despicable.

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  36. Rickey, you constantly post on Yahoo when US soldiers die in Iraq that you are happy about it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Totally false. You are lying through your teeth on this one. I served. You didn't. There is no happiness to me whatsoever in US Military death. You are just upset because I find those that self aggrandize by use of military rank, web pages, etc and those that suck up to them, such as yourself, to be disgusting slugs.

    ps: how about a link to your assertions, gordo.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I never said I served. I had no idea you served. I know you won't give details.
    I'll need to archive posts where you have "passed out candies" at the news of dead US soldiers. Unless I have the wrong ID thief.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Candies and dancing are reserved for kosher hamburger. I do not talk much about my service details because I don't wallow in self aggrandizing like you and your "military" pals.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Rickey, making comments based on your own set of world values is self aggrandizing enough.
    As far as your service goes, I'll just speculate that you served Yassir Arafat as a pool boy until I find out differently.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Rickey, making comments based on your own set of world values is self aggrandizing enough.>>>>>

    Your plagiarised and personal blog statements are full of this, so you must be speaking of yourself and your a la carte judaism and lifestyle that are ok in your eyes because you play the *atheist* card. Hopefully you are getting the therapy you need from a licensed professional. We know you make frequent trips to Never Never Land.

    ReplyDelete
  42. deep at heart, you are a commie pinko fag who is incapable of original thought.

    ReplyDelete