Stereotype Meme

Since it is MLK day in the US, I figure it is as good a day as any to start a Stereotype Meme. If you intend to be PC, don't even bother trying this. Potential targets? Jews, Blacks, Asians, Fundies, Atheists, Arabs, Muslims, Agnostics, Catholics, Pro-Lifers, Pro-Choicers, Vegetarians, Republicans, Moonbats, Democrats, Liberals, Progressive Conservatives, YECs, NDPs, Satanists, Scientists, Pro Athletes, or anything you can think of.

This is what triggered the idea to start this:

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.

ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a hooker.

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.

ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!

ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

ATHIEST DAD: Why not?

ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.

ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?

ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!

ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?
Hat tip: Fundies Say The Darndest Things

Just a few corrections to the author, Prince of Pain: "AthIEst" is spelled AthEIst, "eachother" is really two words, and Atheists do not claim to be tolerant of all religions. Other than that, I think you nailed us Atheists.

In the comment section over at FSTDT, a couple of people already gave it a try:

Here is one by szenah. What it would be like if fundies were the majority:

Fundie kid: "Mom, I'm going to go beat up some fags."

Fundie mom: "Okay, dear, just be back in time for our afternoon prayers and blood-drinking ritual."

Fundie kid: "Of course. God will want to know what a good job I did defeating his enemies. Maybe I can kill one of them today."

Later, the fundie dad gets home from work and beats his wife to establish his Godly dominance in the family.

Fundie wife: "Thank you, dear. I'm so relieved that I have a real Christian man for a husband. Now can you pray for the healing of my broken nose and concussion?

Fundie husband: "Not until you have finished scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, you sinful daughter of Eve." He goes to get his belt and stand over her as she scrubs, beating her if she misses a spot, in spite of her broken arm.

Suddenly a neighbor rushes in. "Come quick, we found a child reading a Harry Potter book. She's tied to a stake now and we're gathering wood for the fire. We need all the good Christians there to shout at the witch as she burns."

The fundies rush out, grabbing twigs from their yard as they go. "Praise God, it's so good that we have the chance to kill another heathen. We've burned five children in this neighborhood alone this year. The Lord is good."

And this from John making fun of Fundies too:

FUNDIE'S KID: Mom, I'm going to church.
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, son.
FUNDIE'S KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go read the Bible with my friends."
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The kid leaves the room snickering and goes out to fuck a hooker and smoke pot. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

FUNDIE DAD: Hey!
FUNDIE MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again."
FUNDIE DAD: Jesus Christ! How'm I gonna to make the payments on my new pickup truck? And what about the big-screen TV we wanted? Hell, we don't even have medical insurance. Okay, you better get an abortion. Just don't tell our friends!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
FUNDIE NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Jew movin' into the neighborhood!
FUNDIE MOM: We'll be right there!

The fundie couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a fundie is nailing together a large, wooden X. They set it on the new neighbor's lawn and light it on fire. A crowd of fundies stand around, all wearing white robes and hoods.

RANDOM FUNDIE: Damn you, Jew! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we fundies are hypocritical like that! Die, Jew!

THE END

************The rules are that there has to be a mom, dad, kid, neighbor, and random character. You have to start with the premise "what if...."
Length doesn't matter, it is just the quality that counts (where have I heard that before?). If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your creation in my comment section. Warning: this is harder than it looks, and takes some creativity.

Meme trivia: the term Meme (rhymes with "theme") was coined by Atheist guru, Richard Dawkins, in 1976, and the word has evolved very much since then.

OK, now here goes my shot at this (I'm just going to use the anti-Atheists template).

What would it be like if Moonbats were in charge of the Western world:

MOONBAT SON: Mom, I'm going to Mosque.

MOONBAT MOM: Excellent idea son. Even though we don't believe in what Islam teaches, it is important that we do what Muslims want, or they might kill us if they get pissed off.

MOONBAT KID: (After coming home from the Mosque) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. The government is still making people who enter the country use passports. We must put a stop to this.

MOONBAT MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.

MOONBAT SON: What are we having? Porkchops? Just kidding, I know that pork is banned.

The moonbat son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

MOONBAT DAD: Hi darling, I agreed to take in a new boarder. You'll like him.

MOONBAT MOM: Of course I will. Is he a murderer who came from a broken home, like our last boarder?

MOONBAT DAD: No, this time it is a serial child molester who came from a broken home.

MOONBAT MOM: That is great. We'll reform him. He just needs a chance.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes, it is important for us to gain his trust.

MOONBAT MOM: Good idea, I'll set the up bunk beds in our son's room. That will make him trust us.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes. And make sure you give our new boarder choice if he wants the top or the bottom.

MOONBAT MOM: I just hope he doesn't think we are coming on too strong, and thinks that we are phonies. Remember, he is a victim. We must nurture him accordingly.

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

MOONBAT NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there is an Arab with a machine gun!

MOONBAT MOM: We'll be right there!

The Moonbat couple goes outside to join the MOONBAT crowd gathered around the Arab. The Arab is looking to see if there are any Jews left in the neighborhood. The Moonbat couple can only think of the people 6 houses down because they have a Jewish sounding last name, but they aren't sure if they are Jews or not because they don't look Jewish.

RANDOM MOONBAT: I never liked those people anyways. They didn't come to the Cindy Sheehan lecture at the stadium.....Remember Rachel Corrie!

THE END

Anyone can do this. I tag everyone. I especially tag Southfield at Keeping Up With The Blogses, Michael at A Few Random Thoughts, and Lex at Gripes of Wrath.