June 2, 2008

Finally! Evidence That Jesus Christ Does Exist

Woman Says Jesus Told Her to Kill Her Husband

Greenville County (The Greenville News) - A Marietta woman accused of killing her common-law husband told authorities her husband had used the Lord's name in vain too many times and that she shot him because "Jesus told me to do it," according to court testimony Wednesday.

Donna Marie Redding began quoting "all kinds of Scripture" and told investigators that she killed her husband, Gary Dean Parnell, after the two had argued over whether to play rock or country music and over who would roll a marijuana cigarette, Greenville County Sheriff's investigator Chris Miller testified in court.

In her confession, Redding, 35, told investigators that Parnell "is the devil" and that Jesus had told her to kill him, Miller testified during a preliminary hearing in which the prosecution presents for the first time a general outline of its case against a defendant.

It makes perfect sense to me that Jesus would want the Devil to be murdered. This is total proof that Jesus exists.

I wonder what Jesus thought about the common-law arrangement this couple had though. Probably pissed him off as well. Lets face it, they weren't gay and they still didn't get legally hitched.

Now that the Devil is dead, I expect all evil to disappear from the world. Lets face it, the murdered man must have been the Devil. There is no way Jesus would pick out the wrong guy in this inspired shooting.


  1. This is how you should continue your blog; wacko fundie news, featuring as many different faiths as possible.

  2. Aaron, thanks for the suggestion, but I don't want to turn this blog into a cut and paste news blog, and there are a lot of great blogs on the Atheist Blog Roll that go after news events. Mojoey (Deep Thoughts), God is For Suckers, and the Atheist Media Blog seem to cover news events quite well and analyze and in the case of God Is For Suckers, you get a good analysis usually with the story.

  3. This just reminds me of the joke about the CIA training program; at the end of the training there are three candidates left, two men and a woman. The final test is ability to follow orders; the first man is taken to a door. He is told that inside the room is his wife tied to a chair. The trainers give him a gun and tell him to go into the room and kill his wife. The man gives the gun back and says, "No way - I couldn't kill my wife."
    The second man is brought to the door, again given the gun and told to go inside and kill his wife. he goes through the door, but comes back out a few seconds later and says, "I just can't do it. I can't kill my wife."
    Finally the woman is brought to the door, given the gun and told to go inside and kill her husband. She goes through the door and the examiners hear four gunshots, followed by a short silence, followed by a series of thwacking noises and grunts. Finally the woman comes back out of the room and says, "the gun was filled with blanks, so I had to beat him to death with the chair."

  4. What makes you think that Jesus coudn't pick the wrong guy? He did make mistakes, you know, as when, in Matthew 27:9, he identified Jeremy (Jeremiah?) as the prophet who he says prophesied that blood
    money paid to Judas would be used
    to purchase a potter's field.In fact, there is no such prophecy in
    Jeremiah; the closest thing to such a prophecy is instead found in the book by Zechariah. So Jesus is no more "infallible" than the Pope, and could indeed, have picked the wrong "Devil"! lol

    Then again, maybe it was Matthew who made the mistake. How could we ever know, one way or the other?