Happy National Prayer Day

Womans and mans prayer

Woman's Prayer
-----------------------------
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep
One who is handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks. When he says he'll call, he won't wait
weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be
annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How
big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to hit on my
friend.
Amen.

+++++++++++++++++++++

MAN'S PRAYER
-----------------------------
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a boat.
Amen

"Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilisers or a bottle of Jack Daniels."
-Frank Sinatra

"Why do I pray? Because I never know what's going to pop out of my mouth."
-Kathie Lee Gifford

"Most people do not pray; they only beg."
-George Bernard Shaw

"I don't pray because I don't want to bore God."
-Orson Welles

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons"

I'm Saddam, The Ardent Atheist

The Ardent Atheist The results are in, and it appears that you have scored 67%...

You are an atheist, pure and simple. You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won't listen. You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life, and see no reason to accept the pleas of faith. Ardent atheists are the backbone of atheism. Be proud.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 43% on pentagrams

Link: The Atheist Test written by chi_the_cynic on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I didn't realize I was such a nasty Atheist. Not that it bothers me or anything. I don't think believers who also accept evolution and an ancient earth are "that" beneath me though.

Just a bit of a warning, there are thirty questions, it was sort of fun answering many of them, but they do ask for a valid email at the end of the quiz.

If you really want to just shake your head at stupidity check out the Ray Comfort Atheist Test.

Ray is the guy who hangs with Kirk Cameron, as they continue lying for Jesus.

Check out this video at Crazy World as Kirk and Ray show that the banana is the Atheist's worst nightmare, and "proves" that God exists. I would love to see them prove God exists using an acorn or a coconut.

Here is the video:

These Tests Don't Lie. I Must Accept The Truth.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I hated this answer so much that I did the test over again. The first time I only did the 27 question version. The second time I did it by answering the maximum 45 questions. I still wound up being the same leader. Well, at least he likes Sinatra too. His favorite song is Strangers In The Night:



Hat tip to The Wrightwing.

FUNDIES HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS, SO WHY NOT THE OTHER GREAT APES?

According to the Brussels Journal: Spain May Grant Human Rights to Apes.

The Spain Herald reports that the bill is calling for "the immediate inclusion of (simians) in the category of persons, and that they be given the moral and legal protection that currently are only enjoyed by human beings."
I see nothing wrong with this. Of course, the intentions have to do with habitat and animal protection. But I wonder if passed, do the implications also include housing, wages and even same sex marriage.

This stuff really must piss off the Christian Right especially. It is a total recognition on how closely related humans are to chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and orangutans. The evolutionary and genetic similarities between man and ape are too obvious to ignore......by a thinking man.
Click cartoon below to enlarge:


Fundies really hate the fact that is evolution. Our common ape ancestor appeared around 25 million years ago. Between then and around 5 million years the ancestor of human beings appeared. 99% of all species go extinct, so there were probably lots of variations in the ape family, including the extinct Neanderthal man.
Interestingly, humans share 98.4% of our genes with chimpanzees, 97.7% with gorillas, and 96.4% with orangutans. And the sequence of their appearance on the planet is predictable by evolution theory. Chimps the closest relation(other than bonobos) to humans appeared 5 million years ago, gorillas appeared 7 million years ago and orangutans, 8 million years ago.
The bonobos evolved from chimps between 2 and 2.5 million years ago, and they have evolved into the most similar species to humans.



I like how Amnesty International has a hard time dealing with this. They have no problem supporting terrorists who strap on suicide bombs. But they have a problem with banana eaters who don't blow up innocents.

Why not give these apes the same human rights we give the minors, the mentally handicapped and the Christian Fundies get? Apes are our cousins and man is driving many of them into extinction. And they are helpless. They need our support. I'm glad Spain is taking notice.



Here is more info about great ape extinction.

RABBI GELLMAN, IT IS YOUR IGNORANCE THAT MAKES ME ANGRY

Does Rabbi Marc Gellman get paid for the crap he recently wrote for Newsweek as a "columnist?" He wrote an article entitled Trying To Understand Angry Atheists, yet he didn't quote any "angry" Atheists, and most importantly he made prejudicial blanket statements as to why he "thinks" Atheists are angry. He is completely out to lunch.
Even if he just wanted to interview Atheist Jews, he has plenty to choose from. More than one third of Secular Jews in America and Israel are either Atheist or Agnostic. There is even a Society for Humanistic Judaism , which "embraces a human-centered philosophy that combines the celebration of Jewish culture and identity with an adherence to humanistic values and ideas."

I think many Atheists are frustrated, and this sometimes leads to anger.
Instead of going the interview route, Rabbi Gellman makes statements like "So we disagree about God." No Rabbi, this is not what sets Atheists off. Personally, I find it frustrating that seemingly intelligent individuals believe in the story of Noahs Ark. I only get angry when they try to prove it, or try to push it as learning material in school. Yes, the idea of fairy tales being taught in science classes pisses me off.

Then he goes off on a tangent stating that "I am tempted to believe that behind atheist anger there are oftentimes uncomfortable personal histories. Perhaps their atheism was the result of the tragic death of a loved one, or an angry degrading sermon, or an insensitive eulogy, or an unfeeling castigation of lifestyle choices or perhaps something even worse."

Rabbi, you are a MORON. Where did you pull this crapola from? Atheists often appear angry when we see God and the State holding hands. Why was Howard Stern pulled from mainstream media? Why did Janet Jackson's nipple slip cause major television networks to skulk around like a dog who just did an accident in the living room? Why are their court cases trying to get creation into science classes?

He goes on to say that Atheists are lacking the demand to constantly be good because we "believe nothing." Newsflash Rabbi Idiot, Atheists believe in things that are REAL. Yes, we do believe. And as far as the possibility that we have no Moral guidelines, well whether one wants to say that Morality is objective or subjective, the reality is that the only evidence out there is that the 10 Commandments were written down by man for man. Objective moralists believe there is always a right action, while a subjective moralist believes that an individuals morality is a combination of evolution, societal norms and the individuals sympathy. Either way, we don't need God to be "more moral" than a believer.

He adds "I can humbly ask whether my atheist brothers and sisters really believe that their lives are better, richer and more hopeful..."

I didn't realize this was a competition. Since when does anyone become an Atheist to lead a better?, richer, and more hopeful life? Atheists do not believe in God, because there is NO GODDAM EVIDENCE THAT GOD EVER EXISTED. This isn't a lifestyle choice. It is a realization made by observation of facts and realities and common sense.

And then he starts on about religion giving hope. Who cares? Atheists play the cards dealt to us, by the laws of nature.
I'll deal with what is real and believers can cling on to fairy tales to give them hope.
Just keep your fairy tales in your own homes and your own houses of worship.

And to answer his question "Why do nonbelievers seem to be threatened by the idea of God?."

We are not threatened by a non existent being. We are threatened by Fundamentalists, whether they are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish. Those who try poison the state with lies, propaganda, their ideals, and in most cases their denial of scientific evidence.
We are threatened by their actions, which are based on their interpretations of a book of fairy tales.

For other Atheist POV's check Hellbound Alleee, The Secular Outpost,
Deep Thoughts, The No God Blog, Betty Cracker, and especially Unscrewing the Inscrutable

Rabbi Gellman should check these out, maybe he will become more learned, and less ignorant.