May 4, 2006

Happy National Prayer Day

Womans and mans prayer

Woman's Prayer
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep
One who is handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks. When he says he'll call, he won't wait

I pray that he is gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How
big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to hit on my


I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a boat.

"Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilisers or a bottle of Jack Daniels."
-Frank Sinatra

"Why do I pray? Because I never know what's going to pop out of my mouth."
-Kathie Lee Gifford

"Most people do not pray; they only beg."
-George Bernard Shaw

"I don't pray because I don't want to bore God."
-Orson Welles

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons"


  1. I was hoping for more response here. Dang audience seems to be looking for original material these days.

    June 6, 2006: Chimp, are you going to chow down on a fetus?

  2. Hey BEAJ, I loved the quotes. Very funny. And as a teacher and a religious guy I think the Simpson's character has it right- the two epistemologies really don't mix. There is revealed knowledge and scientific knowledge and the two deal with very different kinds of thinking. And Shaw his it right too- that's all that most people ever think prayer is. Too bad.