May 4, 2006

Happy National Prayer Day





Womans and mans prayer

Woman's Prayer
-----------------------------
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep
One who is handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks. When he says he'll call, he won't wait
weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be
annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How
big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to hit on my
friend.
Amen.

+++++++++++++++++++++

MAN'S PRAYER
-----------------------------
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a boat.
Amen

"Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilisers or a bottle of Jack Daniels."
-Frank Sinatra

"Why do I pray? Because I never know what's going to pop out of my mouth."
-Kathie Lee Gifford

"Most people do not pray; they only beg."
-George Bernard Shaw

"I don't pray because I don't want to bore God."
-Orson Welles

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons"
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4 comments:

  1. Rev. BigDumbChimpMay 04, 2006 2:51 PM

    I think it's more likely I'll be celebrating

    National Day of Slayer

    ReplyDelete
  2. BaconeaterMay 04, 2006 5:53 PM

    I was hoping for more response here. Dang audience seems to be looking for original material these days.

    June 6, 2006: Chimp, are you going to chow down on a fetus?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rev. BigDumbChimpMay 04, 2006 6:14 PM

    If need be.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 04, 2006 7:46 PM

    Hey BEAJ, I loved the quotes. Very funny. And as a teacher and a religious guy I think the Simpson's character has it right- the two epistemologies really don't mix. There is revealed knowledge and scientific knowledge and the two deal with very different kinds of thinking. And Shaw his it right too- that's all that most people ever think prayer is. Too bad.

    ReplyDelete

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