July 6, 2006

THINGS I BELIEVE AND/OR KNOW FOR SURE


1. There is no God.

2. Jesus most probably did not exist.

3. The story of Noah's Ark is ridiculous.

4. The Exodus story is just a story.

5. The earth and the universe are ancient.

6, Evolution happens.

7. Land is either owned and/or governed. There is no such thing as Jewish land, Palestinian land, Caucasian land, Christian land, Arab land, Muslim, etc.

8. Israel needs to exist as a Jewish majority state until anti-semitism disappears from the earth.

9. Young Earth Creationists are willfully ignorant.

10. Islam must reform or become extinct.

11. When we die, that is it.

12. All religions were originally made up by either delusional individuals and/or con artist out to control large amounts of people.

13. Mohammed existed, but he was an illiterate pedophile and murderer.

14. Mormonism and Scientology are recent examples of how the Jesus myth started and eventually became a popular hoax.

15. Until a fetus can survive on it's own, taking modern technology into account, the choice to abort is entirely up to the host female.

16. The war in Iraq is actually making the other middle eastern nations more civil and Westernizing their belief systems, slowly but surely. It is a good start.

17. Gay marriages shouldn't even be debated. It is sad that certain individuals and groups in our society today has a problem with it.

18. Man has to fight his natural urges to stay monogamous. I have no idea why I am fighting so hard.

19. Child rapists/murderers should be beaten to death with baseball bats.

20. Anyone who believes the Rapture will happen with 50 years shouldn't be allowed in politics.

***I reserve the right to add to this list.

44 comments:

  1. Now wait jes' a second there, Joooo-Boy. Wait jes a second. Where do y'all think you can come on blasphemizin' the name a' the Lord, the name a' the lamb known as Jesus Christ, the earthly coil that the Lord done created in his own image, and all the rest a' that stuff y'all Crist-killers are hedonizin' & apostatizin' & . . . well, disgracin'?

    Lemme break down some a' your arguments:

    1. "There is no God."

    Oh yeah? Says who?

    2. "Jesus most probably did not exist."

    Oh yeah, then who's that in the picture on my wall, smart guy? You Jooooos think you know everything about something. But y'all really know shit about nothin'. Or about somethin'.

    5. "The earth and the universe are ancient."

    They's jes' old, that's all.

    6, "Evolution happens."

    Well, so does shit, shit-for-brains.

    17. "Gay marriages shouldn't even be debated. It is sad that certain individuals and groups in our society today has a problem with it."

    I agree. Them hoe-moes shouldn't be gettin married by no priests or nothin.

    18. "Man has to fight his natural urges to stay monogamous. I have no idea why I am fighting so hard."

    I'm hard ever'day trying to stay troo to ma' wife.

    19. 'Child rapists/murderers should be beaten to death with baseball bats."

    Yee-hah, les' go! Can we beat some a' you Joos too?

    20. "Anyone who believes the Rapture will happen with 50 years shouldn't be allowed in politics."

    It's a comin any day now. You'll see. You'll be kneeling next to me, waitin' for the lamb.

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  2. Mike. LMAO. That picture you have on the wall is Jake Plummer by the way.

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  3. God damn, yer' right!

    And I thought maybe it was that Johnny Damon guy. Musta' been Johnny Satan, trying to fool me.

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  4. 10. Islam must reform or become extinct - this is must, too bad so many moonbats appease this religion. They will wake up when they are under siege and living under sharia law. You should check this site out you might like what they offer: http://politees.net

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  5. LMAO @ Mike...that was hilarious. BEAJ, we think very much alike. Maybe YOU should run for office...:) I'd support you.

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  6. “Land is either owned and/or governed. There is no such thing as Jewish land, Palestinian land, Caucasian land, Christian land, Arab land, Muslim, etc.”

    That’s a really good point. The notion that land belongs to a religious group is now quite alien to most western people. The term Christendom to describe the West has long since gone out of general use.

    The problem with Islam is that it infects huge tracts of land and all that live within it. Western mores and laws transcend individual religious beliefs. In general all religions can flourish under Western governance yet this is not the case in the Moslem ‘lands’.

    The thing is, though, is it a problem or a strength. Alien observers with no loyalties either way would undoubtedly consider it a strength. Behold a people incredibly weak when it comes to arms yet possessing an unconquerable belief system. Behold another people incredibly strong when it comes to arms yet as wishy washy as the sky is blue and rapidly committing suicide through deliberate population decline. Who will win this contest?

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  7. How do you "know" there is no God?

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  8. BEAJ, I love this list! Not an argument to be found (except maybe for #18 -- I'm a lover, not a fighter...).

    Mike: Too funny -- ya had me goin' fer about four lines...

    sam: How do you "know" it does?

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  9. Let me re-write that last line:

    sam: How do you "know" there is?

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  10. Chimera-I'm asking Bacon here a question-he claims he knows. I'm asking how. I didn't say anything about what I know.

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  11. AA, it is scarey that Islam is outbreeding the West.
    Hopefully, science will win over a ridiculous belief system, that is why Islam can't be left alone, it must be reformed. Check out my post from June 25th on the ridiculous notion that there is such a thing as Palestinian land.

    Sam, if you read the title of my post, how do you know that my statement "there is no God" is something I know for sure versus something I believe.
    Kidding aside, there is absolutely no proof God exists or needs to be added to the equation of the universe. Science pretty much explains everything, and more and more each day.
    Events in the bible have been proven historically and/or archaelogically to be false. But I can't prove there is no God, because I can't disprove a negative.
    I can't prove my dog isn't God, or me, or you. You could be God, but I highly doubt it, in fact, I'm as sure that you Sam are not God as much as I am sure there is no God.

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  12. Sam-

    Read the heading to the list: Things that BEAJ *believes* and/or knows to be true. Thus: "Things I believe or know to be true."

    Now, if we can shift gears for a second, i *know* there's no God, cause when I flew up to heaven on my Magic Carpet with Aladdin, Superman, The Ghost of L. Ron Hubbard & Darryl Strawberry, we didn't find anyone by the name of "God."

    There was an old guy with a beard with an unpronounceable name (something like Yahwee, but not exactly), but he was more interested in begging for change than anything else.

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  13. "Sam I Am, I Do Not Like Green Eggs And BaconEatingJews."

    Hmmmm, that's not rhyming. Back to the drawing board. Let me see, a product made from the porcine creatures that My Lord, G-D, has forbidden me to eat?. Hmmm. Any suggestions?

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  14. u have strong views, and u cut no corners or see areas of grey

    beaj is your world very black and very white, there are no huge chucks of greys in between them?
    has it been this way for past 20 years?

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  15. Bacon is bad for your health due to cholesterol, amongst other things. If you want to eat it, go right ahead. Jewish dietary laws are a guide to eating clean food. It doesn't discriminate against you for eating junk. There is no hell to go to due to eating the pig. If it makes you feel good about yourself, go right ahead. If it makes you feel like you're showing the world how much of a rebellious Jew you can be, that's your decision. If you have to advertise your eating habits, then it shows a personal conflict and weakness within. Work on it.

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  16. Anon 1, my views have changed in the last 20 years, but these are things I feel very strong about right now.
    If you have any issues with them, please let me know, I'm up for debate.

    Anon2, I will always be a Jew no matter what I believe and what I eat.
    Jewish dietary laws go back to a fridgeless time, and many of the rules were set as a way of controlling the masses.
    You are missing out because of a book of myths. Lobster, crab, cheeseburgers, and club sandwiches.

    Your loss.

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  17. Darryl Strawberry's dead now that's news. That's not what it says on wikipedia.

    I'm still a G-d fearing Jew. But I cheat. You forgot shrimp yumm.

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  18. Wow. I am amazed how much we disagree on:

    2. Joshua probably did exist, simply because the place was full of people rebelling against Rome and ending up crusified.

    3. Noah's Ark is a great story. Borrowed from Sumer, but still a great fairy tail.

    4. Very likely that there was a small group of Asians that left Egypt and joined other tribes in Canaan to create a Jewish nation.

    8. Without Israel there will be no Jews. Wouldn't it be boring? There will always be antisemites.

    10. Islam will not become extinct whether it reforms or not.

    12. I think people genuinly "saw" things. Like schizophrenics.

    16. Can't say I am observing this.

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  19. Shlemazl, check out my sidebar down at the Jesus Never Existed? section. Read this for now. I didn't realize Jesus didn't exist until a couple of years ago, when the Passion was starting to get promoted. Got to love the internet.

    Islam will put itself in a position to be extinct if reformation doesn't occur.

    16. I saw a survey a few months ago of Arabs and they seem to have been changing their tune ever so slightly.

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  20. Beaj I would love to debate with you but time currently does not permit but i was curious if your black and white phase now has been on for 20 years, and if you have ever moved through a grey phase.

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  21. Anon, pertaining to what? Many of my views were in the grey area up until recently.

    I didn't give some much thought until recently and somethings have just fallen into my lap just through education.

    But these are pretty solid now and I'm very happy with my list.

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  22. OK so you are not cast in black and white movies. OK for now,m whetted my appetite a whee bit

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  23. oh i forgot the :-)))

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  24. JHRHV-

    Poor sentence construction on my part. I meant to explain that I, Aladdin, Superman & Darryl were alive when we flew to heaven on the magic carpet. L. Ron was the only one who was dead. God was alive too.

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  25. All religions will cease to exist, islam included. Reforming will help it die quietly instead of violently, that's all.

    Ok, people can't prove god doesn't exists but it's really easy to prove the god of the old testament (The god of chirstians, jews and muslims) doesn't exist with simple logic. The scripture states that god has these 3 qualities:

    1) Omnipotent.
    2) Omniscient.
    3) He's absolutely good/absolutely merciful.

    It also says "if you are naughty you go to hell for all enternity for infinite suffering".

    Those four points are mutually exclusive which ever way you look at it. Let's take an example.

    God is all knowing so he knew that lots and lots of people were going to end up in hell according to his plan, but he created them anyway. God is all powerful, so he could have made it differently or could just have by passed the whole unnecessary plan and just have had the result. So despite the fact that there is no need for it, god chose that the majority of humans would have to suffer eternity in hell. Result god is not good, or god is not all powerfull, or god didn't have a clue, or you're not going to hell so god got it wrong which means he'ws not all knowing.

    There you go, simple and irrefutable proof that the god of the old testament doesn't exist. So shut up and grow up and stop basing your life and decisions on stupid myths.

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  26. CD, once you start defining God by giving him qualities, then we can prove those qualities wrong.

    Most people are vague with their definitions and allow loopholes "the Lord works in mysterious ways"
    "only God knows"

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  27. The scripture is not so vague when it comes to some qualities though. The disproof is valid and it's staggering that more religious folk don't take their own gods word for it - If the book is the word of god, god already told you he doesn't exist :)

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  28. God's living in a supernova at the edge of the universe.

    Confused? Well, I am too, but check out the latest post on my blog and it'll *all* become clear.

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  29. Anyone here who wants to shoot fish in a barrel when it comes to evolution and the universe should go here.

    Check out the comments

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  30. thanks for the link beaj, It's amazing how sure people can be about evolution being false, without even knowing what it is. Then again perhaps ignorance is the only circumstance under which this view can grow.

    Great list !

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  31. As far as I have read there is now hell is judaism just sin and evil.

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  32. Sorry meant NO. I'm somewhat religious but I have to admit with all the fighting and hate in the world why would he let us make things so bad for some and so good for other. I live a good life computer house food family etc. I’m sure some rabbi could explain it. But holy crap there are some evil wicked mofos out there and it is disturbing.

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  33. So ask your rabbi to explain to you how god can be all good, all powerful and all knowing and yet he insists upon suffering for those that are living and possibly infinitely once they are dead. If even one person has a bad day, that's proof that the god of both Jews, Muslims and Christians is missing at least one of his defining traits - and that means your books are wrong. Get over it :)

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  34. There is life and there is death. Yawp.

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  35. choosedoubt,
    http://www.aish.com/holocaust/issues/Wrestling_with_Suffering.asp

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  36. Items 10 through 13 are important. The west has been through 500 years of reformation. Islam, not so much. But Keerist, if it takes Muslims another 1400+ years to realize that their esteemed founder was not just a criminal but psychotic as well, heaven (and I use the term loosely) help us all.

    Still, I guess it's easier to bow, scrape, and dream of a virgin paradise than to think critically, value your children, and get the fuck on with it.

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  37. jhrhv, if that link is enough for you then congratulations. But it goes absolutely no where towards correcting the simple fact that if god is omnipotent and omniscient, which is what the text says, then if even one person spends one second suffering then he cannot be all good because he has chosen to create that suffering and he has chosen that someone should suffer it. God always had a choice - so god chose suffering. End of story.

    The page you referred me to is ridiculous theist tap dancing around an obvious truth - as usual - that absolutely fails to address the deeper issue which is that the all knowking, all powerfull and all good god is a logical fallacy that is disproved by it's own definition. Now, please use your brain for a few seconds and set yourself free and add another individual to the cause of a human race free controlling myths.

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  38. I think we should change:
    God to Todd or Maude.
    Allah to Allan or Ellen.
    Yahweh to, Aw leave that one alone it's hilarious.

    Let us play, Our fodder, Who's "Art" in heaven.

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  39. 1. There is no God.

    Since it is obvious there is no “all powerful, all loving, all caring, God” It doesn’t really matter if there is a “creator.” Some mad scientist with test tubes and a Brunson burner.

    2. Jesus most probably did not exist.

    Josephus refers to him. I think he might have.

    3. The story of Noah's Ark is ridiculous.

    I’ve always been partial to it, mind you, I prefer the Grimm Brothers and Dr Seuss.

    4. The Exodus story is just a story.

    True.

    5. The earth and the universe are ancient.

    Very much the way I feel on Friday’s after a hard week.

    6, Evolution happens.

    As does shit sometimes.

    7. Land is either owned and/or governed. There is no such thing as Jewish land, Palestinian land, Caucasian land, Christian land, Arab land, Muslim, etc.

    Tell that to the Cree, Apache, Haida or Iroquois.

    8. Israel needs to exist as a Jewish majority state until anti-semitism disappears from the earth.

    Whatever for? Surely they could move to Dearborn or Manitoba.

    9. Young Earth Creationists are willfully ignorant.

    That’s not half the story. You underestimate their ignorance and wilfulness.

    10. Islam must reform or become extinct.

    Islam, Judaism and Christianity should all do the world a favour and just become extinct.

    11. When we die, that is it.

    Unless we owe money to Uncle Sam. In which case our bones are sold to universities to pay off the debt.

    12. All religions were originally made up by either delusional individuals and/or con artist out to control large amounts of people.

    Not true. The Big Rock Worshippers of the Omar Wadi just got a thing for really neat rocks.

    13. Mohammed existed, but he was an illiterate pedophile and murderer.

    Nobody’s perfect dude.

    14. Mormonism and Scientology are recent examples of how the Jesus myth started and eventually became a popular hoax.

    Mormonism PROVES how outrageously stupid religions can attract people who otherwise seem at least intelligent enough to chew gun and tie their own shoelaces.

    15. Until a fetus can survive on it's own, taking modern technology into account, the choice to abort is entirely up to the host female.

    Seems fair.

    16. The war in Iraq is actually making the other middle eastern nations more civil and Westernizing their belief systems, slowly but surely. It is a good start.

    While it may be having a marginally civilizing effect on some governments it is driving great masses into the ideology of Nutter Islam. Nutter Islam is the very close first cousin of what passes for Mainstream Islam.

    17. Gay marriages shouldn't even be debated. It is sad that certain individuals and groups in our society today has a problem with it.

    True.

    18. Man has to fight his natural urges to stay monogamous. I have no idea why I am fighting so hard.

    Simple; picture your wife, a dark bedroom, a sleeping husband, a penis, a very sharp serrated carving knife. ‘Nuff said.

    19. Child rapists/murderers should be beaten to death with baseball bats.

    Aluminium or wood?

    20. Anyone who believes the Rapture will happen with 50 years shouldn't be allowed in politics.

    Anyone who believes the Rapture will happen shouldn't be allowed in politics.



    ***I reserve the right to add to this list.

    ****Me even more so.

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  40. Anon, that was funny.
    A couple of points. If you scroll down my sidebar there are quite a few great links on Jesus not existing. Josephus refers to Jesus second hand, 40 years after Jesus supposedly died.
    Christianity did exist. It was invented around 50 AD.

    As far as Indian land goes. Indians conquered the land from the Clovis and ate the evidence.
    This is the 21st century, and land is either owned and/or governed. The borders are a result of might making right. But you can't do that anymore.

    Judaism and Christianity do not represent a physical threat to innocent bystanders.

    And the last point is a wooden bat with rusty nails coming out of it.

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  41. 2. Jesus most probably did not exist.
    3. The story of Noah's Ark is ridiculous.
    4. The Exodus story is just a story.

    i'd say they're massively exaggerated stories. the discovery/history channels have some good shows describing possible roots of many of these ludicrous-sounding "past events".


    9. Young Earth Creationists are willfully ignorant.

    the real problem is from where the will to be ignorant springs. i see this as an early analog to nazism or cults.


    11. When we die, that is it.

    that's why science rocks- we don't have to die, it's a syndrome that will eventually be cured.


    1. There is no God.
    12. All religions were originally made up by either delusional individuals and/or con artist out to control large amounts of people.

    true, but there is supposedly evidence that there is a genetic predisposition to beliefs in greater powers.


    14. Mormonism and Scientology are recent examples of how the Jesus myth started and eventually became a popular hoax.

    history channel had an interesting show describing the history of messiahs. i'd often thought if the early jews weren't so peaceful and had conquering on their mind, where would be now. or even if rome hadn't been infected by the memetic virus that is christianity- paganism would rock.

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  42. How do you "know" there is no God?

    Every time I've invited him for coffee, he hasn't showed up. He either doesn't exist or is entirely too rude to be worshiped.

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  43. Dave, you mean he didn't even come late? Maybe he is just cool.

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