I know, we've heard this before. But one thing I have to admit, the fight against cancer has come a long way, even since the early 70's, when a cancer diagnosis might as well been a death sentence. Of course, it depends which cancers we are talking about today, but it seems that a lot of people get "cured." Maybe it has to do with the fact that more things are called cancer than they were way back when. I don't remember people talking about skin cancers in the 60's and early 70's, but I wasn't paying much attention either.
I'm one of those optimistic skeptics, but I really like what I've read about the potential cure written about at NewScientist.com. Bear in mind, I am not a biologist, or any type of scientist or doctor for that matter, but thanks to my laymans understanding about evolution, this stuff really looks exciting:
Evangelos Michelakis of the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada, and his colleagues tested DCA on human cells cultured outside the body and found that it killed lung, breast and brain cancer cells, but not healthy cells. Tumours in rats deliberately infected with human cancer also shrank drastically when they were fed DCA-laced water for several weeks.
DCA attacks a unique feature of cancer cells: the fact that they make their energy throughout the main body of the cell, rather than in distinct organelles called mitochondria. This process, called glycolysis, is inefficient and uses up vast amounts of sugar.
Until now it had been assumed that cancer cells used glycolysis because their mitochondria were irreparably damaged. However, Michelakis’s experiments prove this is not the case, because DCA reawakened the mitochondria in cancer cells. The cells then withered and died.
It appears that this team is looking at cancer in a different way:
Paul Clarke, a cancer cell biologist at the University of Dundee in the UK, says the findings challenge the current assumption that mutations, not metabolism, spark off cancers. “The question is: which comes first?” he says.
Now the big problem is FUNDING the needed human research. Because DCA is not patented, drug firms can't make a ton of money off it. So the pubicly owned drug companies won't spend dough on research:
'Michelakis is concerned that it may be difficult to find funding from private investors to test DCA in clinical trials. He is grateful for the support he has already received from publicly funded agencies, such as the Canadian Institutes for Health Research (CIHR), and he is hopeful such support will continue and allow him to conduct clinical trials of DCA on cancer patients.'
"Nobody is going to make a billion dollars from this drug," Dr. Michelakis said. "But maybe it will help a lot of people with cancer."
I don't think Canada research will get stymied by the FDA. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong.
A website has been set up to take donations. It looks legit...and again I'm a skeptic. Check out DCA Research Information, and do your own diligence if you wish to donate.
Now, this is the kind of thing Bill Gates or Warren Buffett should throw a whack of money at. It is one thing to spend money on preventing cancer and other diseases in the third world (spending money on preventing babies in the third world and oil rich countries should be the priority though), it is another thing to cure cancer. Being the main contributor on a venture that cures cancer will ensure immortality, and the good kind of immortality, not the Hitler kind. Hey, maybe I can be remembered as the blogger who twisted Bill Gate's arm on this one.
H/T Shadow Of God at the Raving Atheist's Forum
Added tidbit: She Blinded Me With Science has a very interesting blog post about evolution and cancer.
January 23, 2007
January 21, 2007
These People Have To Be Young Earth Creationists
This is what happens when you go to church on Sundays and use a V-Chip to block out PBS and the National Geographic channels:
HT Choobus, from The Raving Atheist's Forum.
There is no way the people interviewed in the above clip are Atheist, or even Agnostic. Let me take that back. They are Agnostic when it comes to common facts.
It is sad that these people can vote.
Hopefully that clip made you laugh, and embarrassed the hell out of you if you are an American.
I know they edited out right answers. Who knows how much editing they had to do? But still, it makes me think that maybe I'm not that smart after all. Maybe, just maybe, I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm smarter than I really am, by comparing myself with the over abundance of dimwits who infest our planet.
That clip reminded me of Rick Mercer's (he has a blog) funny piece about Americans and their knowledge about Canada; Talking To Americans.
Here is a clip of that show. It took place just before the 2000 USA Election for their Prime Minister (when in Rome...):
Watch more Talking To Americans clips here.
HT Choobus, from The Raving Atheist's Forum.
There is no way the people interviewed in the above clip are Atheist, or even Agnostic. Let me take that back. They are Agnostic when it comes to common facts.
It is sad that these people can vote.
Hopefully that clip made you laugh, and embarrassed the hell out of you if you are an American.
I know they edited out right answers. Who knows how much editing they had to do? But still, it makes me think that maybe I'm not that smart after all. Maybe, just maybe, I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm smarter than I really am, by comparing myself with the over abundance of dimwits who infest our planet.
That clip reminded me of Rick Mercer's (he has a blog) funny piece about Americans and their knowledge about Canada; Talking To Americans.
Here is a clip of that show. It took place just before the 2000 USA Election for their Prime Minister (when in Rome...):
Watch more Talking To Americans clips here.
January 19, 2007
You Think Tony Soprano Was Pissed?
Remember the episode where Tony took Meadows new boyfriend Noah aside and told him to stay away from his daughter. Tony referred to him as a "charcoal briquet," because he was half black and half Jewish. I think it was the black part that really pushed Tony over the edge, but he made it clear that Meadow better just stick to dating Italians.
Many Italian homes and Jewish homes have unwritten rules that the kids grow up and marry their own kind. I'm sure it doesn't just stop with Jews and Italians, but parents from those homes tend to be the most "emotional" about the subject.
I find this to be hilarious (I use to love watching All In the Family). Though, it could be thought of an example of extreme intolerance. Either way it is comical.
This is more of an ethnic phenomena than a religious one. But I'm sure that the more religious the household is, the more extreme the "stick with your own" philosophy is taught.
My father started preaching stick with your own, but he mellowed out pretty quick. He might have been more hardcore if he took us to synagogue, but we were very secular. 3 out of 4 of us got married, and none of us to Jews.
I really can't think of any of my friends involved in a "mixed" marriage where the couple was shunned by their families. That might have happened in the old days. The lack of shunning doesn't stop the family whispering or the stigma altogether.
Of course, there are Orthodox Jews (and even secular Jews) that wouldn't even consider marrying or dating out. Again, I understand the religious Jews. In a home where one's life revolves around religion, it would be a difficult situation when bringing up kids to marry outside one's beliefs.
I don't think it is even a consideration to most Muslims to marry outside.
Ironically, Jews have a very high divorce rate in the US compared to other faiths:
Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
Note: Baptists came in at 29% and Catholics 21%.
When it is all said and done, it is the individual's choice which should be respected. The parents in the Youtube clip had every right to whine all they want (free speech), but no right to prevent a thing.
Many Italian homes and Jewish homes have unwritten rules that the kids grow up and marry their own kind. I'm sure it doesn't just stop with Jews and Italians, but parents from those homes tend to be the most "emotional" about the subject.
I find this to be hilarious (I use to love watching All In the Family). Though, it could be thought of an example of extreme intolerance. Either way it is comical.
This is more of an ethnic phenomena than a religious one. But I'm sure that the more religious the household is, the more extreme the "stick with your own" philosophy is taught.
My father started preaching stick with your own, but he mellowed out pretty quick. He might have been more hardcore if he took us to synagogue, but we were very secular. 3 out of 4 of us got married, and none of us to Jews.
I really can't think of any of my friends involved in a "mixed" marriage where the couple was shunned by their families. That might have happened in the old days. The lack of shunning doesn't stop the family whispering or the stigma altogether.
Of course, there are Orthodox Jews (and even secular Jews) that wouldn't even consider marrying or dating out. Again, I understand the religious Jews. In a home where one's life revolves around religion, it would be a difficult situation when bringing up kids to marry outside one's beliefs.
I don't think it is even a consideration to most Muslims to marry outside.
Ironically, Jews have a very high divorce rate in the US compared to other faiths:
Religion % have been divorced
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%
Note: Baptists came in at 29% and Catholics 21%.
When it is all said and done, it is the individual's choice which should be respected. The parents in the Youtube clip had every right to whine all they want (free speech), but no right to prevent a thing.
January 17, 2007
It Is All About Me
Click cartoon to enlarge it:
I got tagged again. This time, by Krystalline Apostate, for the Five Things About Me meme. On this blog and in my blog profile, I have revealed pretty much everything I wanted to reveal about me to date, but I will play the game like a good boy. I'll go with some trivial things about me:
1) I went to York University for 3 years but I didn't earn a BA. I majored in Psychology, and I enrolled in enough Psyche classes to get my BA, but in my third year, I took a course to do with computer stats and psychology. When I found out in the first class that because we were not computer students, we would have to take a backseat to anyone majoring in computer courses (I still think we were using punch cards back in 1983), and we might have to wait up to 3 hours when we had to use the few computers available on the campus. I quickly changed courses. The Psych courses that appealed to me were full, so I wound up taking World Geography. It was my intention at the time to come back in the fourth year and take nothing but Psych courses and earn a Masters, but during my third year, I got disillusioned with the idea of never leaving school. I figured that with a Masters I would wind up with a university position, so I decided to quit after the third year. I got a low B average (70) overall, and passed all 15 courses I took over the three years. And I have never lied about this on my resume.
2) I've never had a real driver's licence (I've had 3 temporary licences). I hate admitting this one. It really is a matter of not pursuing it enough. I have a brother who is a year younger than me, who couldn't wait to get his license when he turned 16, and he became all the wheels I needed for a few years. I did attempt to get a real licence (not just a temporary one) when I took a driving test when I was 25. Because of my age and the fact I didn't take any accredited driving courses, I failed...at least this is what I think. Then I moved from the burbs to downtown Toronto, where a car is a liability. Recently, upon moving to a small town, I have figured I could use a licence (even though I work from home), so I may give it a whirl. I have a temp right now. I even used my temp illegally to drive to Atlantic City once....20 years ago.
3) I'm a day older than Wayne Gretzky. I used to play basketball with the same creativity he played hockey, only I was too short (5' 11") and too slow to gain recognition.
4) I had sex on a public beach at around midnite on a Greek Island when I was 26. Lots of shooting stars (no light pollution). My victim was an English nurse. She was sympathetic to the fact that my then girlfriend broke up with me on another Island. Lots of people were on the beach, some only 10 feet away.
I still regret caring for that ex-girlfriend enough just before the final breakup on Ios to not take advantage of a certain situation. Our room was next to the room of two Swedish girls. My girlfriend stormed out to go to a bar, so I knocked on the Swedish girl's room because I needed someone to talk to. They apologized for not coming to the door quickly because they were in the middle of taking "Eve pictures." Instead of pursuing my natural instincts, I decided to whine about my current relationship. What a shmuck I was. I could have had too Swedish girls at once, and one was really hot. I mean really hot. I wound up going out partying with them, but ended up bumping into my ex. I did her one more time for the road. But I was thinking about the Swedish hottie.
I also had sex on a major hotel beach in daylight in Aruba with my then girlfriend, and now wife. It was in waist high water, and the nearest person to us had to be 30 feet away. It probably just looked like we were making out passionately, and madly in love, to anyone who happened to glimpse at us.
Oh yeah, my wife never reads my blog.
5) Up until recently, I co-owned race horses. The business became uneconomical for me, so I don't own any at this time. I am very knowlegable when it comes to horse racing, and I'm not just saying that. I haven't blogged about horse racing here, but I do have another blog that I contribute to. Cangamble is just a way to keep my employers informed more or less, in case they miss something.
I hate tagging real people so I will tag God, Jesus, Moses, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny.
Added bonus pic. I just got a digital camera (so expect more pics). Jake and Daisy are pictured in this one. Jake (part border collie and probably part lab) is a recent acquisition. My youngest brother adopted Jake from an old lady who was shipped to an old folks home a couple of years ago. Jake is basically crippled in the back legs (he is big and old, probably 10 or 11). In October, my brother moved to a house with lots of stairs, and Jake couldn't handle them. My house has a large main floor and it is only a couple of stairs to a big backyard.
I don't know how he makes it on the couch because he can't do more than 2 stairs, but he is able to somehow use his back legs as temporary leverage.
He is our resident garbage can when it comes to food scraps. We don't feed scraps to Daisy....she is much too special for scraps.
Jake has close to no personality. I'm not bonding with him at all, but my wife gives him enough attention for the both of us.
I got tagged again. This time, by Krystalline Apostate, for the Five Things About Me meme. On this blog and in my blog profile, I have revealed pretty much everything I wanted to reveal about me to date, but I will play the game like a good boy. I'll go with some trivial things about me:
1) I went to York University for 3 years but I didn't earn a BA. I majored in Psychology, and I enrolled in enough Psyche classes to get my BA, but in my third year, I took a course to do with computer stats and psychology. When I found out in the first class that because we were not computer students, we would have to take a backseat to anyone majoring in computer courses (I still think we were using punch cards back in 1983), and we might have to wait up to 3 hours when we had to use the few computers available on the campus. I quickly changed courses. The Psych courses that appealed to me were full, so I wound up taking World Geography. It was my intention at the time to come back in the fourth year and take nothing but Psych courses and earn a Masters, but during my third year, I got disillusioned with the idea of never leaving school. I figured that with a Masters I would wind up with a university position, so I decided to quit after the third year. I got a low B average (70) overall, and passed all 15 courses I took over the three years. And I have never lied about this on my resume.
2) I've never had a real driver's licence (I've had 3 temporary licences). I hate admitting this one. It really is a matter of not pursuing it enough. I have a brother who is a year younger than me, who couldn't wait to get his license when he turned 16, and he became all the wheels I needed for a few years. I did attempt to get a real licence (not just a temporary one) when I took a driving test when I was 25. Because of my age and the fact I didn't take any accredited driving courses, I failed...at least this is what I think. Then I moved from the burbs to downtown Toronto, where a car is a liability. Recently, upon moving to a small town, I have figured I could use a licence (even though I work from home), so I may give it a whirl. I have a temp right now. I even used my temp illegally to drive to Atlantic City once....20 years ago.
3) I'm a day older than Wayne Gretzky. I used to play basketball with the same creativity he played hockey, only I was too short (5' 11") and too slow to gain recognition.
4) I had sex on a public beach at around midnite on a Greek Island when I was 26. Lots of shooting stars (no light pollution). My victim was an English nurse. She was sympathetic to the fact that my then girlfriend broke up with me on another Island. Lots of people were on the beach, some only 10 feet away.
I still regret caring for that ex-girlfriend enough just before the final breakup on Ios to not take advantage of a certain situation. Our room was next to the room of two Swedish girls. My girlfriend stormed out to go to a bar, so I knocked on the Swedish girl's room because I needed someone to talk to. They apologized for not coming to the door quickly because they were in the middle of taking "Eve pictures." Instead of pursuing my natural instincts, I decided to whine about my current relationship. What a shmuck I was. I could have had too Swedish girls at once, and one was really hot. I mean really hot. I wound up going out partying with them, but ended up bumping into my ex. I did her one more time for the road. But I was thinking about the Swedish hottie.
I also had sex on a major hotel beach in daylight in Aruba with my then girlfriend, and now wife. It was in waist high water, and the nearest person to us had to be 30 feet away. It probably just looked like we were making out passionately, and madly in love, to anyone who happened to glimpse at us.
Oh yeah, my wife never reads my blog.
5) Up until recently, I co-owned race horses. The business became uneconomical for me, so I don't own any at this time. I am very knowlegable when it comes to horse racing, and I'm not just saying that. I haven't blogged about horse racing here, but I do have another blog that I contribute to. Cangamble is just a way to keep my employers informed more or less, in case they miss something.
I hate tagging real people so I will tag God, Jesus, Moses, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny.
Added bonus pic. I just got a digital camera (so expect more pics). Jake and Daisy are pictured in this one. Jake (part border collie and probably part lab) is a recent acquisition. My youngest brother adopted Jake from an old lady who was shipped to an old folks home a couple of years ago. Jake is basically crippled in the back legs (he is big and old, probably 10 or 11). In October, my brother moved to a house with lots of stairs, and Jake couldn't handle them. My house has a large main floor and it is only a couple of stairs to a big backyard.
I don't know how he makes it on the couch because he can't do more than 2 stairs, but he is able to somehow use his back legs as temporary leverage.
He is our resident garbage can when it comes to food scraps. We don't feed scraps to Daisy....she is much too special for scraps.
Jake has close to no personality. I'm not bonding with him at all, but my wife gives him enough attention for the both of us.
January 15, 2007
Stereotype Meme
Since it is MLK day in the US, I figure it is as good a day as any to start a Stereotype Meme. If you intend to be PC, don't even bother trying this. Potential targets? Jews, Blacks, Asians, Fundies, Atheists, Arabs, Muslims, Agnostics, Catholics, Pro-Lifers, Pro-Choicers, Vegetarians, Republicans, Moonbats, Democrats, Liberals, Progressive Conservatives, YECs, NDPs, Satanists, Scientists, Pro Athletes, or anything you can think of.
This is what triggered the idea to start this:
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
Hat tip: Fundies Say The Darndest Things
Just a few corrections to the author, Prince of Pain: "AthIEst" is spelled AthEIst, "eachother" is really two words, and Atheists do not claim to be tolerant of all religions. Other than that, I think you nailed us Atheists.
In the comment section over at FSTDT, a couple of people already gave it a try:
Here is one by szenah. What it would be like if fundies were the majority:
Fundie kid: "Mom, I'm going to go beat up some fags."
Fundie mom: "Okay, dear, just be back in time for our afternoon prayers and blood-drinking ritual."
Fundie kid: "Of course. God will want to know what a good job I did defeating his enemies. Maybe I can kill one of them today."
Later, the fundie dad gets home from work and beats his wife to establish his Godly dominance in the family.
Fundie wife: "Thank you, dear. I'm so relieved that I have a real Christian man for a husband. Now can you pray for the healing of my broken nose and concussion?
Fundie husband: "Not until you have finished scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, you sinful daughter of Eve." He goes to get his belt and stand over her as she scrubs, beating her if she misses a spot, in spite of her broken arm.
Suddenly a neighbor rushes in. "Come quick, we found a child reading a Harry Potter book. She's tied to a stake now and we're gathering wood for the fire. We need all the good Christians there to shout at the witch as she burns."
The fundies rush out, grabbing twigs from their yard as they go. "Praise God, it's so good that we have the chance to kill another heathen. We've burned five children in this neighborhood alone this year. The Lord is good."
And this from John making fun of Fundies too:
FUNDIE'S KID: Mom, I'm going to church.
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, son.
FUNDIE'S KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go read the Bible with my friends."
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The kid leaves the room snickering and goes out to fuck a hooker and smoke pot. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
FUNDIE DAD: Hey!
FUNDIE MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again."
FUNDIE DAD: Jesus Christ! How'm I gonna to make the payments on my new pickup truck? And what about the big-screen TV we wanted? Hell, we don't even have medical insurance. Okay, you better get an abortion. Just don't tell our friends!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
FUNDIE NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Jew movin' into the neighborhood!
FUNDIE MOM: We'll be right there!
The fundie couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a fundie is nailing together a large, wooden X. They set it on the new neighbor's lawn and light it on fire. A crowd of fundies stand around, all wearing white robes and hoods.
RANDOM FUNDIE: Damn you, Jew! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we fundies are hypocritical like that! Die, Jew!
THE END
************The rules are that there has to be a mom, dad, kid, neighbor, and random character. You have to start with the premise "what if...."
Length doesn't matter, it is just the quality that counts (where have I heard that before?). If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your creation in my comment section. Warning: this is harder than it looks, and takes some creativity.
Meme trivia: the term Meme (rhymes with "theme") was coined by Atheist guru, Richard Dawkins, in 1976, and the word has evolved very much since then.
OK, now here goes my shot at this (I'm just going to use the anti-Atheists template).
What would it be like if Moonbats were in charge of the Western world:
MOONBAT SON: Mom, I'm going to Mosque.
MOONBAT MOM: Excellent idea son. Even though we don't believe in what Islam teaches, it is important that we do what Muslims want, or they might kill us if they get pissed off.
MOONBAT KID: (After coming home from the Mosque) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. The government is still making people who enter the country use passports. We must put a stop to this.
MOONBAT MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.
MOONBAT SON: What are we having? Porkchops? Just kidding, I know that pork is banned.
The moonbat son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
MOONBAT DAD: Hi darling, I agreed to take in a new boarder. You'll like him.
MOONBAT MOM: Of course I will. Is he a murderer who came from a broken home, like our last boarder?
MOONBAT DAD: No, this time it is a serial child molester who came from a broken home.
MOONBAT MOM: That is great. We'll reform him. He just needs a chance.
MOONBAT DAD: Yes, it is important for us to gain his trust.
MOONBAT MOM: Good idea, I'll set the up bunk beds in our son's room. That will make him trust us.
MOONBAT DAD: Yes. And make sure you give our new boarder choice if he wants the top or the bottom.
MOONBAT MOM: I just hope he doesn't think we are coming on too strong, and thinks that we are phonies. Remember, he is a victim. We must nurture him accordingly.
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
MOONBAT NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there is an Arab with a machine gun!
MOONBAT MOM: We'll be right there!
The Moonbat couple goes outside to join the MOONBAT crowd gathered around the Arab. The Arab is looking to see if there are any Jews left in the neighborhood. The Moonbat couple can only think of the people 6 houses down because they have a Jewish sounding last name, but they aren't sure if they are Jews or not because they don't look Jewish.
RANDOM MOONBAT: I never liked those people anyways. They didn't come to the Cindy Sheehan lecture at the stadium.....Remember Rachel Corrie!
THE END
Anyone can do this. I tag everyone. I especially tag Southfield at Keeping Up With The Blogses, Michael at A Few Random Thoughts, and Lex at Gripes of Wrath.
This is what triggered the idea to start this:
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
Hat tip: Fundies Say The Darndest Things
Just a few corrections to the author, Prince of Pain: "AthIEst" is spelled AthEIst, "eachother" is really two words, and Atheists do not claim to be tolerant of all religions. Other than that, I think you nailed us Atheists.
In the comment section over at FSTDT, a couple of people already gave it a try:
Here is one by szenah. What it would be like if fundies were the majority:
Fundie kid: "Mom, I'm going to go beat up some fags."
Fundie mom: "Okay, dear, just be back in time for our afternoon prayers and blood-drinking ritual."
Fundie kid: "Of course. God will want to know what a good job I did defeating his enemies. Maybe I can kill one of them today."
Later, the fundie dad gets home from work and beats his wife to establish his Godly dominance in the family.
Fundie wife: "Thank you, dear. I'm so relieved that I have a real Christian man for a husband. Now can you pray for the healing of my broken nose and concussion?
Fundie husband: "Not until you have finished scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, you sinful daughter of Eve." He goes to get his belt and stand over her as she scrubs, beating her if she misses a spot, in spite of her broken arm.
Suddenly a neighbor rushes in. "Come quick, we found a child reading a Harry Potter book. She's tied to a stake now and we're gathering wood for the fire. We need all the good Christians there to shout at the witch as she burns."
The fundies rush out, grabbing twigs from their yard as they go. "Praise God, it's so good that we have the chance to kill another heathen. We've burned five children in this neighborhood alone this year. The Lord is good."
And this from John making fun of Fundies too:
FUNDIE'S KID: Mom, I'm going to church.
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, son.
FUNDIE'S KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go read the Bible with my friends."
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The kid leaves the room snickering and goes out to fuck a hooker and smoke pot. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
FUNDIE DAD: Hey!
FUNDIE MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again."
FUNDIE DAD: Jesus Christ! How'm I gonna to make the payments on my new pickup truck? And what about the big-screen TV we wanted? Hell, we don't even have medical insurance. Okay, you better get an abortion. Just don't tell our friends!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
FUNDIE NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Jew movin' into the neighborhood!
FUNDIE MOM: We'll be right there!
The fundie couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a fundie is nailing together a large, wooden X. They set it on the new neighbor's lawn and light it on fire. A crowd of fundies stand around, all wearing white robes and hoods.
RANDOM FUNDIE: Damn you, Jew! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we fundies are hypocritical like that! Die, Jew!
THE END
************The rules are that there has to be a mom, dad, kid, neighbor, and random character. You have to start with the premise "what if...."
Length doesn't matter, it is just the quality that counts (where have I heard that before?). If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your creation in my comment section. Warning: this is harder than it looks, and takes some creativity.
Meme trivia: the term Meme (rhymes with "theme") was coined by Atheist guru, Richard Dawkins, in 1976, and the word has evolved very much since then.
OK, now here goes my shot at this (I'm just going to use the anti-Atheists template).
What would it be like if Moonbats were in charge of the Western world:
MOONBAT SON: Mom, I'm going to Mosque.
MOONBAT MOM: Excellent idea son. Even though we don't believe in what Islam teaches, it is important that we do what Muslims want, or they might kill us if they get pissed off.
MOONBAT KID: (After coming home from the Mosque) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. The government is still making people who enter the country use passports. We must put a stop to this.
MOONBAT MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.
MOONBAT SON: What are we having? Porkchops? Just kidding, I know that pork is banned.
The moonbat son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
MOONBAT DAD: Hi darling, I agreed to take in a new boarder. You'll like him.
MOONBAT MOM: Of course I will. Is he a murderer who came from a broken home, like our last boarder?
MOONBAT DAD: No, this time it is a serial child molester who came from a broken home.
MOONBAT MOM: That is great. We'll reform him. He just needs a chance.
MOONBAT DAD: Yes, it is important for us to gain his trust.
MOONBAT MOM: Good idea, I'll set the up bunk beds in our son's room. That will make him trust us.
MOONBAT DAD: Yes. And make sure you give our new boarder choice if he wants the top or the bottom.
MOONBAT MOM: I just hope he doesn't think we are coming on too strong, and thinks that we are phonies. Remember, he is a victim. We must nurture him accordingly.
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
MOONBAT NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there is an Arab with a machine gun!
MOONBAT MOM: We'll be right there!
The Moonbat couple goes outside to join the MOONBAT crowd gathered around the Arab. The Arab is looking to see if there are any Jews left in the neighborhood. The Moonbat couple can only think of the people 6 houses down because they have a Jewish sounding last name, but they aren't sure if they are Jews or not because they don't look Jewish.
RANDOM MOONBAT: I never liked those people anyways. They didn't come to the Cindy Sheehan lecture at the stadium.....Remember Rachel Corrie!
THE END
Anyone can do this. I tag everyone. I especially tag Southfield at Keeping Up With The Blogses, Michael at A Few Random Thoughts, and Lex at Gripes of Wrath.
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