When Will Fundies Start Boycotting The Simpsons?

I normally blink and miss the couch scenes at the beginning of each Simpsons episode. For some reason, I turned my head from my computer and saw the one from last night.
I wonder if their pro-evolution attitude is starting to piss off the Religious Right.
Last year they did a Scopes trial spoof, called the Monkey Suit (see bottom of this post). To think, Fundy children might be watching these episodes, and then they may ask their parents some tough questions. Fundies can't like these confrontations because it forces them to lie (yeah, deep down, most Fundies know they are lying, it is part of their mental illness). Anyway, this is the most educational Simpsons piece ever. It is the longest couch scene as well, as it runs over one minute:

They really did their homework for the scene.

The Simpsons represent the ideal Christian nuclear family. Neither Homer or Marge came into the marriage from another marriage, and other than the one episode, (The Computer Wore Menace Shoes), when Homer was replaced at home by a double and it was implied that Marg was getting German shlong, there has been no known adultery. They also attend church regularly.
Still the recent acceptance of Marge's gay sister and the evolution episode may just be too much for Fundy parents to handle.

The jury is out about whether Matt Groening, the shows creator, is an Agnostic or Atheist. He says he is Agnostic probably because he knows he would lose a huge percentage of his audience if he admitted to Atheism.
From Celebatheists:

Matt Groening -- the executive producer of "The Simpsons," who pokes a lot of fun at religion -- was asked by The New York Times whether he believed in God and what he considers the most comical story in the Bible.

Said Groening: "I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them off a cliff. What did the pigs do? I could never figure that out. It just seemed very un-Christian. Technically, I'm an agnostic, but I definitely believe in hell -- especially after watching the fall TV schedule."

Now, if you have another 5 minutes and want to laugh out loud, here is a 5 minute compilation of Family Guy poking fun at religion:


See also, The Simpsons and Family Guy Take On Creation and Evolution for the Monkey Suit video.

Times, They Are A Changing

A part-time biology teacher in Oregon was fired for referring to the bible.

Kris Helphinstine 27, also made links between evolution and Planned Parenthood and Nazi Germany. And I doubt it was links to show that evolution has very little to do with either. They were most likely the Fundy links that are all over the internet. You know:
Darwin's evolution is about survival of the fittest (which of course, is not what evolution is all about).
Hitler thought Aryans were the fittest and wanted a world full of only Aryans.
Hitler also thought that Jews were subhuman species and tried to murder as many as he could.
Therefore, evolution is evil.

It is kind of like blaming Newton and gravity for how bullets travel.
Newton's gravity explains why and how things fall to earth (simplified and localized).
Bullets have to go real fast so they don't fall to the earth fast in order to kill people.
Therefore, gravity is evil.


I'm really surprised that the kids were so aware of what he was doing, and even more surprised that some of the parents spoke up.

This is just great news.

Now for another mentally ill creationist on Hitler and evolution. Presenting Reverend Rickey:


H/T Internet Infidels Newswire for the teacher story

REASONS FOR NOT HAVING SEX 2007

I am suffering from temporary writer's block. So I decided to repost something I wrote over 2 years ago. I've made a couple of changes, so as not to plagiarize myself.

Being married for 16 loooooooong years, I think I've heard every excuse there is. Let me share some with you:

I have a headache
I have a stomach ache
I think I have the flu
My back is really bothering me today
I'm having chest palpitations
I feel like throwing up
I just had a bath
I didn't have a bath
I'm bleeding tonight
I don't feel like it
It's too early, maybe later
It's too late, you should have asked me earlier
Can't you just massage my back without wanting sex
I don't like you right now
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow
You were mean to me today
I'm too tired
I just woke up
I just washed the sheets
We'll have sex tomorrow
My twat hurts


And of course there are excuses that are based on the length of the relationship;

When it starts going downhill:
"I really don't like it when you wake me up for sex."

When you know things have changed for good:
"We just had sex yesterday."

After 5 years of marriage:
"We just had sex three days ago."

After 10 years of marriage:
"We just had sex last week."

After 15 years of marriage:
"I can't believe you are watching porn, all you do is think about sex. Grow up."

See also Poor Excuses For Not Having Sex. Funny stuff. Good intelligent analysis.

The Atheist Jew Endorses Answers In Creation, Sort Of

Since I'm a believer that man is hardwired to readily accept the concept of God and the supernatural, I don't have a major problem with people who believe in God.....as long as they don't deny reality, history, and factual evidence to do so.

I'll argue with any believer if I'm confronted by someone who says there is a God, or if they say that Atheism is a religion or makes no sense. But that is the fighter in me.

It is the people who have to go out of their way to deny an old earth or deny evolution by trying to poke holes in a "scientific" manner that really bothers me (the wilfully ingnorant). It is those people who are the most intolerant too, because they think their religion is so special and the only way to go, and that you have to do this that and the other thing and believe this that or the other thing, or you will rot in hell.
I don't mind the few YECs who just admit that they believe in their bible and they don't try to argue why they are right scientifically (the honest wilful ignorant).

It looks like a group of Christians are fed up with YECs. They are embarrassments to 2007 humanity, and the people at Answers In Creation (Old Earth Ministries) have figured it out. The writers at this site give to YECs better than I ever could. Here is an exerpt from their FAQ page:

1. If you say it doesn’t matter what position you believe in (old or young), then why do you attack the young earth position?

There are two reasons why the young earth creation science position is criticized on this website. First and most important, there is a battle to be waged for people's souls. Countless people have abandoned the Christian church today, because they were told that the earth was young, and then after they studied the evidence, they saw that it was old. We seek to reach these people...the ones that have been cast out by young earth creationism. They need to understand that you can be a Christian, and believe that the earth is old. With this goal in mind, we gladly confront the false teachings of young earth creationism.
The second reason we confront the young earth position is because it is wrong. The earth is about 4.5 billion years old, and the universe more than 13 billion years old. The scientific evidence to support this claim is accepted by over 99.9 percent of all scientists.1 However, the young earth position teaches that the earth is only 6,000 years old. Because this is against all (100%) of the evidence from God’s creation, the young earth position is not true. Yes, even God's creation argues against young earth creationism. At this website, we seek to expose the young earth position for what it is, a false representation of science and truth. We encourage people to examine God's creation, so that they can discover the truth that the earth is old.
Because what they teach is not the truth, it must be confronted.

They have a page full of testimonials from those who used to believe in the Young Earth but changed their minds based on REAL EVIDENCE.

Their stance on evolution is pretty whacked, only because they understand how YEC's work when it comes to Young Earth "science." I think deep down, or even right under the surface, they KNOW evolution is fact:

4. Do you believe in evolution?

Answers In Creation does not believe in Theistic Evolution. However, there is no reason why Theistic Evolution should not be considered a viable alternative to any other form of creation belief. It is possible to be a Christian, believe in an inerrant Bible, and believe in Theistic Evolution. In fact, you can even be a fundamentalist and believe in evolution. You will see articles on Answers In Creation that are in support of Theistic Evolution. As valid brothers and sisters in Christ, we seek to aid them where we can.
Furthermore, the arguments used against Theistic Evolution by young earth (and old earth) ministries are well-countered by theistic evolutionists. There is a good chance that they are right!

I'm obviously ignoring the word "theistic" because I allow them the belief in God or Jesus' resurrection, as science cannot disprove a negative in these cases, and man is so easily duped by the idea of God, etc.

They lose me when it comes to the flood, as there is lots of evidence that a flood didn't affect ALL mankind, even it was localized (the localized part is the good part at least):

Do you believe in a global flood?

The flood of Noah was a local flood, however, it was universal in effect. God said he would wipe man from the face of the earth, and he did. All locations that were populated in Noah’s day were flooded. Please keep in mind that during Noah’s day, the people all stayed together in one geographic area, and they all spoke the same language (this was prior to the Tower of Babel). Thus, there was no need to flood the entire earth (nor is there any geological evidence of such a flood).
Does this mean the Bible is in error when it says the whole earth was flooded? No, the Bible is accurate. The Bible is written from the frame of reference of man. All the lands known to man were flooded, thus all of man's world was flooded. Noah, viewing the flood, would have claimed the whole world was flooded, even though most of it was not.

They really target the likes of Ken Ham and Kent Hovind. Here is a fairly recent article slamming Ham's book Lie: Evolution.

4. Animals were created as vegetarians. This claim is one that makes absolutely no sense when you consider the lengths to which young earth creationists have to go to in order to justify it. It is true that God addresses man and animals, and tells them to eat plants. This makes sense only if you consider that it is God’s directions for the Garden of Eden, which is the location this edict was given. The Garden was a vision of the new heaven and new earth, which contained no bloodshed. There is no reason so suspect that outside the Garden, life continued on as it had for millions of years. Also, many animals are uniquely designed as predators, and their digestive systems are designed to process meat. Young earth creationists explain this away by saying the curse changed animals...but then again, animals were not cursed.

OK, so it a bit of an apologist site, but it is a move in the right direction. It mostly takes fact and then changes the meanings of the words in the bible to fit the facts (I wonder why they can't do that regarding the Great Flood though).

Here is a paragraph that pretty much illustrates their attitude:

As a progressive creationist, I do not believe in theistic evolution. However, based on Ham’s discussion of 20 reasons against evolution, he presents no valid arguments against theistic evolution. If you prefer to believe in theistic evolution, you are free to continue to do so. One of the greatest evangelical theologians of the 20th century, C.S. Lewis, the author of the Chronicles of Narnia, was a theistic evolutionist. Nobody, not even young earth creationists, questions his devotion to God.

Not accepting evolution (even though they know it is true) allows them to still be intolerant:

"As a conservative Christian myself, I can honestly say that you can still have the same moral positions on abortion, homosexuality, and other issues, and believe that the earth is old."

I guess even if you are an Old Earth Christian, you still gotta hate something.

From Gershwin's Porgy and Bess. I was going to embed the Sammy Davis version from Youtube but it was incomplete.

IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO

It ain't necessarily so, it ain't necessarily so.
De t'ings dat yo' li'ble to read in de Bible,
it ain't necessarily so.

Li'l David was small, but oh my, Li'l David was small, but oh my.
He fought big Goliath who lay down and dieth.
Li'l David was small, but oh my.

Oh, Jonah, he lived in de whale, oh, Jonah, he ived in de whale.
Fo' he made his home in dat fish's abdomen.
Oh, Jonah, he lived in de whale.

Li'l Moses was found in a stream, Li'l Moses was found in a stream.
He floated on water till Ole Pharoah's daughter
she fished him, she says, from that stream.

It ain't necessarily so, it ain't necessarily so.
Dey tell all you chillun de debble's a villun
but 'tain't necessarily so.

To get into Hebben don't snap for a sebben.
Live clean, don have no fault.
Oh, I takes dat gospel whenever it's pos ble
but wid a grain of salt.

Methus lah lived nine hundred years, Methus lah lived nine hundred years.
But who calls dat livin' when no gal will give in
to no man what's nine hundred years?

I'm preachin' dis sermon to show
it ain't nessa, ain't nessa, ain't nessa, ain't nessa,
ain't necessarily so.

- Ira Gershwin

YOUNG EARTH CREATIONISTS (YECS) ARE MENTALLY ILL

Fundies are pretty well convinced that homosexuality is 100% nurture. Especially bible literalists, who "know" that according to the bible that homosexuality is an immoral sin, and sinners can all be cured. If biological, this means that the bible is wrong, which of course it can't be. Also, it means that God created homosexuals, and this too would complicate things immensely for the slack jawed yokel creationists, who believe that God created man in his image. This would literally mean that God likes it up the pooper between one out of 20, to one out of 10 times.
No, Fundies are sure that homosexuality is a mental illness that happens after birth.

After dealing with Fundies in the comment section of various blogs the last couple of days, I have come to the conclusion, that they are in fact mentally ill. It isn't like I've thought about it before, but I finally got completely convinced.
How can people continually make excuses, try to poke holes (and believing hole poking is peer reviewed science), and continually repeat the same lies, convinced that they are truths, over and over again and not be nuts?
How can anyone who opened a science book, watched a nature documentary or read links that are used by people like me to refute their nonsense, in a very educational manner that an 8 year old could understand, still believe the earth is less than 10,000 years old? I realize that evolution is a lot harder for the simple minded to comprehend, but many who argue against it say they have a very good knowledge of science, which of course is a lie, or in fact, they are the craziest of the crazies. These people will go to great lengths to try to explain away scientific fact in order to make their 1900 year old book of myths a total reality.

The only question is whether reality denying is nature or nurture.

Of course, nurture is obvious. Many YECs have been brainwashed since infancy. Now, those who haven't been exposed to real science, thanks to the allowing of home schooling, have an excuse. But these people just stay in their own little world, and they won't be trying to show off how smart they think they are outside of church. Still, a brainwashed person has to be considered mentally ill.

The ones that have opened science books, are still of course brainwashed, but their psychosis runs deeper because they have to overcome major cognitive dissonance, to the point they are actually delusional.

I say man is predisposed to believe in the supernatural, and a lot has to do with our evolution when it comes to invention, innovation and social skills. That being said, I can't say that someone who believes in a higher power is mentally ill. But people who deny real evidence in order to justify their specific beliefs are mentally ill.

It is one thing to embrace reality and add God to the equation. That is acceptable in lieu of our brain's hardwiring due to mostly social evolutionary pressures that modern man has faced.

Could the YECs mental illness be partially natural? Yes. Since the agricultural revolution, man benefitted in staying in one place. With that came getting along with others, and if you didn't, you got kicked out or killed. The best way to control the masses in the past was to instill fear. This is where inventing Gods, and giving Gods spiteful characteristics, worked the best. Keeps many in line. Many Christians think that without the "morality" that "God gave us," they would all be rapists, murderers and thieves.

So those who were believers, had a better chance of survival, and with that, allowed them to have way more children than the infidels too. If you can believe that it is possible that susceptibility to believe in myths can be somewhat inherent, which I do, then two mentally ill (young earth creationists) parents have a better chance of producing an offspring who is more likely to live a life of delusion, than say, the offspring of Atheists.

The question is can we reverse these potentially mentally ill children. The reason I bring this up is because Reverend R. Albert Mohler Jr. has stirred up the bible literalist community with his acceptance that homosexuality most probably occurs during fetal development.

His solution to stop homosexuality intrigues me; "What if a hormone patch during pregnancy will do the job?"

I say, why not prevent mental illness, and give pregnant young earth creationists a hormone patch that looks like this:


Most mentally ill Fundies can function well in society. They can live and die in their blissful ignorance. It is just the ones that want to infest the government or schools with their mentally ill ideas that I see a threat. Because I do believe that their illness is mostly nurture, it is best they aren't allowed to spread their nonsense.

Unlike homosexuality, YECism is treatable and curable in many cases. Check out Dr. Stephen Meyers' story. And I do believe, as I've said before, the Young Earth Creationist movement will die within 25 years, and it has to do with their spokespeople attempting to spew their lies and falsities on the internet. They can only make themselves foolish. Many YEC bloggers and message boards have already started trying to censor those who easily cut through and refute their bullshit.

I love this paragraph from Dangerous Intersections (I found this blog today, and it looks great):
It seems that schizoid tendencies are revered in Christianity. You couldn’t be a Saint unless you demonstrate what are now known to be several symptoms of Schizophrenia: Hearing voices and knowing them to be real, projective charisma, supernormal strength or agility, preternatural sensitivity to other’s thoughts, and so on. The bible and chronology of Saints document many textbook cases of schizophrenia. It usually manifests in women at the onset of adolescence (e.g: Joan of Arc) or men at the end of adolescence (pick anyone from Moses forward).


Further reading about cognitive dissonace: Cognitive Dissonance, regarding Marcus Ross, "a geologist who recently completed a doctoral dissertation at the University of Rhode Island. The subject of his dissertation was “the abundance and spread of mosasaurs, marine reptiles that, as he wrote, vanished at the end of the Cretaceous era about 65 million years ago.” According to his supervisor, his work was flawless - a brilliant piece of scientific research." Ross believes the earth is less than 10,000 years old. Either he has an agenda (and is slightly mentally ill), or he is completely off his rocker and certifiably insane.

Fun link:
Check out the sidebar at The Generator Blog if you want to add a little humour to your blog posts. That is where I found the Bart Chalk Board generator.