KISSING HANK'S ASS

WARNING: VIEWING THE ABOVE CLIP MAY CAUSE FUNDIES TO ACTUALLY THINK. I doubt many will be able to laugh at it. Most of them will just get angry or defensive.

No Atheist site is complete without this video.
Of course, having this video on your site doesn't mean your site is necessarily complete either. That would be Fundy logic.

Anyone interested in the basis for this clip. The original script can be found here.

Here are some Hankisms and how Hank may be interpretted by other faiths and even the faithless.

ATHEIST ARRESTED FOR PULLING PRAYER STUDY HOAX

April 1, 2006

Prayer Study Faked; Atheist Arrested
by Keith Peterson, Washington, D.C., correspondent
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Maybe you heard recently about the new study that claimed "distant prayer" is no help for victims of heart bypass surgery, and actually shows to be possibly detrimental to those who were actually prayed for.

Well it turns out that the supposed $2.4 million study that was funded by the John Templeton Foundation, which supports religious studies, and the Baptist Memorial Health Care Corporation, was actually a complete hoax perpetrated by an Atheist, Paul Rogers or Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The fraud was uncovered by yours truly, who happened to get a hold of Raymond Flood, a director of the John Templeton Foundation who said, "we would not spend that kind of money to try to disprove something as obvious as the impact prayer has on the sickly. It is evident to everyone on this planet, that God sometimes cures the ill and sometimes doesn't. It all depends on what God wants to do, and if he is busy and doesn't notice a sickly person, prayer is the only thing that will alert God into action, or inaction. Depending on how He feels, of course."

Mr. Rogers was arrested Saturday afternoon by Home Security officers. Asked how he was able to pull of such a scam, Rogers said, "people are pretty gullible, especially the news media. It was easy, I just sounded real professional." Rogers then said he was very disappointed that the story broke earlier than he wanted it too, "I was hoping this would make headlines on April 1st, instead I'm getting arrested on this day, bummer." Asked why, Rogers said, "as your typical Atheist, I just hate God."

Rogers will appear in court on Monday, and since there is no death penalty in Minnesota, he will likely face 30 years to life for religious slander and news fabrication designed to upset the Religious Right.

A few blogs worth looking at

I've been blogging for over a year now, so even though I feel like an ancient blogger, I'm really still a novice. But a found a couple of blogs made by "rookies" that are definitely worth checking out.

First I want to recommend Beep Beep's blog. She has been blogging since November from Downunder. She digs up lots of interesting stuff that any Atheist or Agnostic will enjoy reading. Mixing current issues, with history and then adding her excellent wit, her blog is one of my favorites. Escapee from the Meme Machine is another blog I like to visit. Lya has been blogging since August, and many of her posts are personal and introspective.

Now for the real rookies.

My Case Against God is a blog that just started this month and is already getting rave reviews amongst some of the most well known Atheists in the blogosphere. Francesthemagnificent is one of those dudes who is noticeably smart and comes at you from left field and so far he has had the affect of not only making me think more but also opening up my eyes even wider. Which is quite a feat, since us Atheists already have our eyes wide open.

And the other rookie, sitting at paltry 99 visitors at the time of this writing is God's Loyal Opposition. The guy who writes this is a student in Bahrain. He just started in March, and I have read his posts so far, and they are hysterical. Plus he has the perspective of living in a Muslim country going for him. I'm sure if he sticks with it, his blog is going to become extremely popular soon.

I knew these two rookies were perceptive when they blogrolled me immediately. It shows how sharp they are. I'll mention a third rookie, the Recovering Ortho Jew, who has the potential to debunk the entire Old Testament if he keeps going along his sordid path. He scared me recently when he said he reverted back to a believer for Purim.


Ok, so here we have it, a rookie poster who is smarter than me, and another who is funnier than me. At least I still have my good looks..... Alright, I can admit I'm not the best, I have that going for me, my humility that is. And besides, the dumbest Atheist is smarter than the most intelligent Fundy. In fact my Border Collie Daisy is as smart as the average Fundy. Anyways, I'm OK, I have my niche.

PRAYER DOESN'T WORK, OR IS GOD JUST HAVING ANOTHER SNOOZE

Dang nabbit, those pesky scientists keep trying to find evidence that God exists, and can never find a gosh darn thing.

Distant prayer has no effect on patients

'BOSTON, March 30 (UPI) -- A U.S. study of heart bypass patients finds that distant prayer had no measurable effect on their recovery.

In the study, 1,800 patients having surgery at six hospitals were divided into three groups. One group was told they would be prayed for, while the other two were told they might be, The Washington Post reported.

Groups of Catholics and Protestants were recruited to pray for the group of patients who had been told they would be the beneficiaries of prayers and for one of the other groups, mentioning the patients specifically by first name and last initial. There was no measurable difference between the groups who were not sure, while the patients who knew they were prayer targets had a slightly higher complication rate.

The study was published in the American Heart Journal.'
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Those who knew they were being prayed for had a higher incidence of complications. Was the pressure of knowing they were being prayed for hard on the heart? Did they scoff and the treatment knowing that they had cheerleaders praying for them? Why would God let this happen at a time when more and more people are doubting him, and some are even laughing their asses off at him, and his flock of believers?

Maybe God doesn't do heart disease.
Maybe the John Templeton Foundation can spend another 2.4 million dollars to see if prayer to God can make amputees grow back limbs. I'd be betting on a zero % growth rate, and I'm sure even the most hardcore Fundies would be expecting that too. But if God is up there, he should be able to make at least one limb grow back. C'mon, it's God. God can do anything.......................if he existed.


How the study was performed.

Thanks to Rubin for the heads up. I'll also give credit to those who posted this story ahead of me: SerandEz, Tammy Bruce, NoGodBlog,
and Boing Boing who adds "maybe they were praying to the wrong God."

JEW WORLD DOMINATION: WHO'S NUMBER ONE?

Who? Who? Who?

http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?FORM=TOOLBR&q=jew%20world%20domination

Somebody found my site yesterday doing an MSN search for "jew world domination." And my blog appeared as the number one match. Now I know I'm being monitored by him, so I have to watch my step, since my secret is out.

I'm not in the top 10 for the Yahoo or Google search of "jew world domination" yet, but I figure if I type jew world domination a few times I will climb up in those respective search engines. Oh what the heck, jew world domination, like Brittney say, oops I did it again.

For now on, I will have to use a different code when sending my secret cryptic messages to Organized Jewry Headquarters in Minneapolis, Minnesota.