When I did amateur stand up, one of my lines was "I masturbate. There, I said it, and I'm relieved...actually I'm not relieved, can you give me a couple of minutes? OK forget it. Masturbation is not all that bad. I get things done. I jerk off at night and I wallpaper in the morning."
Gene lost everything because of pornography and chronic masturbating. 7 years of bible college didn't help him prepare for the frustrations of marriage. This is a touching story (Visually safe):
Bill has been masturbating since 1952, and he blames it on him being a loser. Not his alcoholism or his drug addiction. Yanking turned him into a loser. Another touching story (Visually safe):
Check out what different religions think about masturbation here.
Cat's don't worry about what God thinks about masturbation (Rated R if you are a cat):
Besides relieving stress and lowering blood pressure, moderate masturbation (moderate? Like once a day I guess) also reduces the chances of getting prostate cancer. That is good enough for me.
One of the benefits of being an Atheist is guilt free masturbation and more importantly not worrying about whether God or your dead grandmother is watching you pull it.
If masturbation wasn't beneficial for the survival of our species, the penis would be located between our shoulder blades. Enough said.
December 3, 2006
November 30, 2006
THERE ARE STILL DOOFUSES WHO BELIEVE THE EARTH IS YOUNG
And plenty of them live in North America. Doesn't matter what scientific evidence proves. The literal bible overrides all science, doncha know. Here is a great short scene from Inherit the Wind. Spencer Tracey really makes a monkey out of....OK, just watch the scene:
For a longer version of this scene go here. Yoism.org has lots of great stuff on its site. Check it out.
Can you believe that there are people who think the earth is young? Can you?
Here is the biggest goofball of all, Kent Hovind (he is in prison right now for tax fraud), getting his lies about science refuted. He gets his ass handed to him, actually:
The thing is he sounds good to the uneducated reality denier. People who want or need to buy it, buy it. The sad truth.
For a longer version of this scene go here. Yoism.org has lots of great stuff on its site. Check it out.
Can you believe that there are people who think the earth is young? Can you?
Here is the biggest goofball of all, Kent Hovind (he is in prison right now for tax fraud), getting his lies about science refuted. He gets his ass handed to him, actually:
The thing is he sounds good to the uneducated reality denier. People who want or need to buy it, buy it. The sad truth.
November 28, 2006
What The Hell Is A Nation Within A Nation?
'TORONTO -- Parliament formally recognized Quebec as a nation within Canada Monday, a symbolic gesture that has led to a Cabinet resignation and ignited concerns over a renewed push for the French-speaking province's independence.
The motion presented by Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper, which calls Quebec a nation within a united Canada, is largely symbolic in that it requires no constitutional amendment or change of law. The opposition Liberals and New Democrats supported the motion, so it passed easily through the House of Commons.
It was devised by Harper to pre-empt a similar attempt by the Bloc Quebecois, the separatist party in Parliament that represents Quebec, whose members also reluctantly backed the resolution once they realized they had been outflanked by Harper.'
I'm still reading the news on this and scratching my head. A nation with a nation? Is that like the Vatican in Italy? What is Harper going to do next, declare Ontario a nation within a nation just outside of another nation within a nation (Quebec)? Or maybe we can call British Columbia a nation within a nation but far away from another nation within a nation.
Yeah, I get it. In Quebec, the French language is king. And the women are easier. And the men are yard apes with attitudes. I understand the cultural differences. But either let Quebec separate or don't. But just quit wasting tax payer's money on crap like this.
The writing is on the wall for Quebec anyways. I say let em separate, the French make easy targets for the Muslims. They are too oblivious to what is happening outside of the ice rinks and strip bars and they don't even know that their mother country France, has cars burning nightly. Quebec is going to be the first Islamic state in North America soon enough. They will be a Muslim country within a country that will be very nervous. The Jews already can see it, they've been leaving for quite some time, and the Chinese are trying to avoid Quebec too, even though it goes against their plans of taking over Canada.
The motion presented by Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper, which calls Quebec a nation within a united Canada, is largely symbolic in that it requires no constitutional amendment or change of law. The opposition Liberals and New Democrats supported the motion, so it passed easily through the House of Commons.
It was devised by Harper to pre-empt a similar attempt by the Bloc Quebecois, the separatist party in Parliament that represents Quebec, whose members also reluctantly backed the resolution once they realized they had been outflanked by Harper.'
I'm still reading the news on this and scratching my head. A nation with a nation? Is that like the Vatican in Italy? What is Harper going to do next, declare Ontario a nation within a nation just outside of another nation within a nation (Quebec)? Or maybe we can call British Columbia a nation within a nation but far away from another nation within a nation.
Yeah, I get it. In Quebec, the French language is king. And the women are easier. And the men are yard apes with attitudes. I understand the cultural differences. But either let Quebec separate or don't. But just quit wasting tax payer's money on crap like this.
The writing is on the wall for Quebec anyways. I say let em separate, the French make easy targets for the Muslims. They are too oblivious to what is happening outside of the ice rinks and strip bars and they don't even know that their mother country France, has cars burning nightly. Quebec is going to be the first Islamic state in North America soon enough. They will be a Muslim country within a country that will be very nervous. The Jews already can see it, they've been leaving for quite some time, and the Chinese are trying to avoid Quebec too, even though it goes against their plans of taking over Canada.
November 24, 2006
Muslims Provide Lots of Stand Up Material
Click cartoon to enlarge it:
A Palestinian grandmother blew herself up yesterday while trying to take a few Israeli soldiers with her. Luckily, she failed in taking anyone with her.
Her last dialogue went like this:
Grandma: I feel sick.
Grandpa: Why don't you throw up.
Grandma left. She must have heard grandpa wrong.
**************************************************
Relatives said Najar left behind seven sons and two daughters, plus some 41 grandchildren,"
************************
So much for the Palicaust. 7 children each averaging having 6 children each. And living in such supposedly "oppressive" conditions. Do Palestinians think ahead at all?
I've mentioned here before that I'm a regular on a Yahoo message board that is mainly to do with the Israel-Palestinian conflict, going back around 4 years. It is affectionately known as the HATE BOARD. It is full of knowledgable pro-Zionists, and an assortment of whacked out anti-semites and Muslims/Arabs (most of whom pretend to be Christian Americans).
It gets funny at times and much of the anti-Zionist arguments are based on false assumptions, revised history, and false pretenses. Of course, some anti-semites there pull no punches but I look at them as the best justification for why Israel is needed to exist. Check it out for yourself. Sign in, it is easy, and make a few posts. It is addictive and it is also a great way to release stress.
Here is a sample of the stupidity. The poster is a hairdresser in Canada, and most likely a Muslim who won't admit it. We knew she was stupid but she recently set a new standard for herself:
Re: THIS PLAN OF ISRAEL PROVES TO ME...
by: j_d_mac_vieau (F/Grace Brothers Department St) 11/18/06 06:03 pm
Msg: 3020540 of 3028329
Over time from 1948, Israel has massacred over 20 million Palestinians. This is called genocide over time.
Posted as a reply to: Msg 3020527 by odessitochka_angie
******************************
She made a correction in a later post:
Re: THIS PLAN OF ISRAEL PROVES TO ME...
by: j_d_mac_vieau (F/Grace Brothers Department St) 11/18/06 06:07 pm
Msg: 3020564 of 3028334
I stand corrected; 20 billion palestians of various religions
Posted as a reply to: Msg 3020543 by pltk_2002
***************************
Yes, she is for real. Yes this is what she believes to be true. One of the reasons I go this particular message board is to refute the anti-Zionists/anti-semites with actual facts. Not to change the poster's minds (because they are usually too far gone), but for the lurkers and other rational people who might be on the fence and don't understand the actual history of the conflict.
Ok, now this piece of news makes me laugh:
MUSLIM CLERICS URGE US AIRWAYS BOYCOTT
In case you haven't heard, 6 imams were removed from a US Airways flight that was going from Minneapolis to Phoenix on Monday night. Read the article, there were many reasons why the precautions were taken.
But the funny part is that Muslim clerics want Muslims to boycott US Airways. That would make that particular Airlines the safest perceived one on this planet. It would be great for business if Muslims carried out their boycott.
If the Muslim clerics were smart and wanted to cause damage to US Airways they would declare a REVERSE BOYCOTT, and state that for now on Muslims will only fly US Airways.
Muslims in the West can blame OBL for this, but more importantly they can blame the fact that they haven't collectively stood up publicly against terrorism, and that includes terrorist acts committed against Israel.
Great post on Girl on the Right. Only 277 million Muslims think that suicide bombings are justifiable. How many non Muslims on the planet think the same thing?
A Palestinian grandmother blew herself up yesterday while trying to take a few Israeli soldiers with her. Luckily, she failed in taking anyone with her.
Her last dialogue went like this:
Grandma: I feel sick.
Grandpa: Why don't you throw up.
Grandma left. She must have heard grandpa wrong.
**************************************************
Relatives said Najar left behind seven sons and two daughters, plus some 41 grandchildren,"
************************
So much for the Palicaust. 7 children each averaging having 6 children each. And living in such supposedly "oppressive" conditions. Do Palestinians think ahead at all?
I've mentioned here before that I'm a regular on a Yahoo message board that is mainly to do with the Israel-Palestinian conflict, going back around 4 years. It is affectionately known as the HATE BOARD. It is full of knowledgable pro-Zionists, and an assortment of whacked out anti-semites and Muslims/Arabs (most of whom pretend to be Christian Americans).
It gets funny at times and much of the anti-Zionist arguments are based on false assumptions, revised history, and false pretenses. Of course, some anti-semites there pull no punches but I look at them as the best justification for why Israel is needed to exist. Check it out for yourself. Sign in, it is easy, and make a few posts. It is addictive and it is also a great way to release stress.
Here is a sample of the stupidity. The poster is a hairdresser in Canada, and most likely a Muslim who won't admit it. We knew she was stupid but she recently set a new standard for herself:
Re: THIS PLAN OF ISRAEL PROVES TO ME...
by: j_d_mac_vieau (F/Grace Brothers Department St) 11/18/06 06:03 pm
Msg: 3020540 of 3028329
Over time from 1948, Israel has massacred over 20 million Palestinians. This is called genocide over time.
Posted as a reply to: Msg 3020527 by odessitochka_angie
******************************
She made a correction in a later post:
Re: THIS PLAN OF ISRAEL PROVES TO ME...
by: j_d_mac_vieau (F/Grace Brothers Department St) 11/18/06 06:07 pm
Msg: 3020564 of 3028334
I stand corrected; 20 billion palestians of various religions
Posted as a reply to: Msg 3020543 by pltk_2002
***************************
Yes, she is for real. Yes this is what she believes to be true. One of the reasons I go this particular message board is to refute the anti-Zionists/anti-semites with actual facts. Not to change the poster's minds (because they are usually too far gone), but for the lurkers and other rational people who might be on the fence and don't understand the actual history of the conflict.
Ok, now this piece of news makes me laugh:
MUSLIM CLERICS URGE US AIRWAYS BOYCOTT
In case you haven't heard, 6 imams were removed from a US Airways flight that was going from Minneapolis to Phoenix on Monday night. Read the article, there were many reasons why the precautions were taken.
But the funny part is that Muslim clerics want Muslims to boycott US Airways. That would make that particular Airlines the safest perceived one on this planet. It would be great for business if Muslims carried out their boycott.
If the Muslim clerics were smart and wanted to cause damage to US Airways they would declare a REVERSE BOYCOTT, and state that for now on Muslims will only fly US Airways.
Muslims in the West can blame OBL for this, but more importantly they can blame the fact that they haven't collectively stood up publicly against terrorism, and that includes terrorist acts committed against Israel.
Great post on Girl on the Right. Only 277 million Muslims think that suicide bombings are justifiable. How many non Muslims on the planet think the same thing?
November 23, 2006
What If Atheists Went Door To Door Looking For Converts
It might look something like this:
Thanks Reza for the link.
Christians and Muslims go out of their way to try to get people to believe their nonsense. Jews don't. Atheists sometimes go out of their way to get people to accept facts like evolution and an ancient earth and universe. I'm content when people don't reject fact in order to maintain a literal book of myths. It doesn't matter to me if someone believes in God, as long as they don't reject science to do so. I'm all about evidence.
Happy Turkey Day to all my American readers. And thank you for being Canada's defense department.
Thanks Reza for the link.
Christians and Muslims go out of their way to try to get people to believe their nonsense. Jews don't. Atheists sometimes go out of their way to get people to accept facts like evolution and an ancient earth and universe. I'm content when people don't reject fact in order to maintain a literal book of myths. It doesn't matter to me if someone believes in God, as long as they don't reject science to do so. I'm all about evidence.
Happy Turkey Day to all my American readers. And thank you for being Canada's defense department.
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