GEORGE CARLIN: THERE IS NO GOD

It contains foul language in case you are at work or there are kids in the room. I've had creative writer's block since my April Fool's Day post, but I'm hoping it is temporary, so by posting classics I realize I'm taking the easy way out. Oh yeah, I added a MULTIMEDIA section on my sidebar.

Thanks to God Is For Suckers for the link. If you haven't already, check that site out. It is one of the best, if not best, Atheist site on the net.

Here are some Carlin Quotes:

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music”

“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”

“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else”

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”

“Religion is just mind control”

Some more:

We created God in our own image and likeness.

I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent that I just said, 'This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, but it's not for me.

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!

Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Ok, I might as well add this clip of George trimming down the 10 Commandments to only 2 Commandments. Again, there is some foul language:

PENN AND TELLER: THE BIBLE IS CRAPOLA

HERE IS A PENN AND TELLER VIDEO ON MIRACLES.
Courtesy of Yoism.org.

Warning: Fundies please don't watch this. It will make you very angry, and will magnify your hatred towards Atheists like me, and prove once again that Atheists are sent to this earth by the Devil.
Oh, and it contains foul language as well.

NOTE: A whole slew of Penn and Teller clips are available here. They are very easy to embed onto a blog. Thanks to everyone who linked me.

KISSING HANK'S ASS

WARNING: VIEWING THE ABOVE CLIP MAY CAUSE FUNDIES TO ACTUALLY THINK. I doubt many will be able to laugh at it. Most of them will just get angry or defensive.

No Atheist site is complete without this video.
Of course, having this video on your site doesn't mean your site is necessarily complete either. That would be Fundy logic.

Anyone interested in the basis for this clip. The original script can be found here.

Here are some Hankisms and how Hank may be interpretted by other faiths and even the faithless.

ATHEIST ARRESTED FOR PULLING PRAYER STUDY HOAX

April 1, 2006

Prayer Study Faked; Atheist Arrested
by Keith Peterson, Washington, D.C., correspondent
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Check Out Our Weekend Edition!

Maybe you heard recently about the new study that claimed "distant prayer" is no help for victims of heart bypass surgery, and actually shows to be possibly detrimental to those who were actually prayed for.

Well it turns out that the supposed $2.4 million study that was funded by the John Templeton Foundation, which supports religious studies, and the Baptist Memorial Health Care Corporation, was actually a complete hoax perpetrated by an Atheist, Paul Rogers or Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The fraud was uncovered by yours truly, who happened to get a hold of Raymond Flood, a director of the John Templeton Foundation who said, "we would not spend that kind of money to try to disprove something as obvious as the impact prayer has on the sickly. It is evident to everyone on this planet, that God sometimes cures the ill and sometimes doesn't. It all depends on what God wants to do, and if he is busy and doesn't notice a sickly person, prayer is the only thing that will alert God into action, or inaction. Depending on how He feels, of course."

Mr. Rogers was arrested Saturday afternoon by Home Security officers. Asked how he was able to pull of such a scam, Rogers said, "people are pretty gullible, especially the news media. It was easy, I just sounded real professional." Rogers then said he was very disappointed that the story broke earlier than he wanted it too, "I was hoping this would make headlines on April 1st, instead I'm getting arrested on this day, bummer." Asked why, Rogers said, "as your typical Atheist, I just hate God."

Rogers will appear in court on Monday, and since there is no death penalty in Minnesota, he will likely face 30 years to life for religious slander and news fabrication designed to upset the Religious Right.

A few blogs worth looking at

I've been blogging for over a year now, so even though I feel like an ancient blogger, I'm really still a novice. But a found a couple of blogs made by "rookies" that are definitely worth checking out.

First I want to recommend Beep Beep's blog. She has been blogging since November from Downunder. She digs up lots of interesting stuff that any Atheist or Agnostic will enjoy reading. Mixing current issues, with history and then adding her excellent wit, her blog is one of my favorites. Escapee from the Meme Machine is another blog I like to visit. Lya has been blogging since August, and many of her posts are personal and introspective.

Now for the real rookies.

My Case Against God is a blog that just started this month and is already getting rave reviews amongst some of the most well known Atheists in the blogosphere. Francesthemagnificent is one of those dudes who is noticeably smart and comes at you from left field and so far he has had the affect of not only making me think more but also opening up my eyes even wider. Which is quite a feat, since us Atheists already have our eyes wide open.

And the other rookie, sitting at paltry 99 visitors at the time of this writing is God's Loyal Opposition. The guy who writes this is a student in Bahrain. He just started in March, and I have read his posts so far, and they are hysterical. Plus he has the perspective of living in a Muslim country going for him. I'm sure if he sticks with it, his blog is going to become extremely popular soon.

I knew these two rookies were perceptive when they blogrolled me immediately. It shows how sharp they are. I'll mention a third rookie, the Recovering Ortho Jew, who has the potential to debunk the entire Old Testament if he keeps going along his sordid path. He scared me recently when he said he reverted back to a believer for Purim.


Ok, so here we have it, a rookie poster who is smarter than me, and another who is funnier than me. At least I still have my good looks..... Alright, I can admit I'm not the best, I have that going for me, my humility that is. And besides, the dumbest Atheist is smarter than the most intelligent Fundy. In fact my Border Collie Daisy is as smart as the average Fundy. Anyways, I'm OK, I have my niche.