January 17, 2007

It Is All About Me

Click cartoon to enlarge it:


I got tagged again. This time, by Krystalline Apostate, for the Five Things About Me meme. On this blog and in my blog profile, I have revealed pretty much everything I wanted to reveal about me to date, but I will play the game like a good boy. I'll go with some trivial things about me:

1) I went to York University for 3 years but I didn't earn a BA. I majored in Psychology, and I enrolled in enough Psyche classes to get my BA, but in my third year, I took a course to do with computer stats and psychology. When I found out in the first class that because we were not computer students, we would have to take a backseat to anyone majoring in computer courses (I still think we were using punch cards back in 1983), and we might have to wait up to 3 hours when we had to use the few computers available on the campus. I quickly changed courses. The Psych courses that appealed to me were full, so I wound up taking World Geography. It was my intention at the time to come back in the fourth year and take nothing but Psych courses and earn a Masters, but during my third year, I got disillusioned with the idea of never leaving school. I figured that with a Masters I would wind up with a university position, so I decided to quit after the third year. I got a low B average (70) overall, and passed all 15 courses I took over the three years. And I have never lied about this on my resume.

2) I've never had a real driver's licence (I've had 3 temporary licences). I hate admitting this one. It really is a matter of not pursuing it enough. I have a brother who is a year younger than me, who couldn't wait to get his license when he turned 16, and he became all the wheels I needed for a few years. I did attempt to get a real licence (not just a temporary one) when I took a driving test when I was 25. Because of my age and the fact I didn't take any accredited driving courses, I failed...at least this is what I think. Then I moved from the burbs to downtown Toronto, where a car is a liability. Recently, upon moving to a small town, I have figured I could use a licence (even though I work from home), so I may give it a whirl. I have a temp right now. I even used my temp illegally to drive to Atlantic City once....20 years ago.

3) I'm a day older than Wayne Gretzky. I used to play basketball with the same creativity he played hockey, only I was too short (5' 11") and too slow to gain recognition.

4) I had sex on a public beach at around midnite on a Greek Island when I was 26. Lots of shooting stars (no light pollution). My victim was an English nurse. She was sympathetic to the fact that my then girlfriend broke up with me on another Island. Lots of people were on the beach, some only 10 feet away.
I still regret caring for that ex-girlfriend enough just before the final breakup on Ios to not take advantage of a certain situation. Our room was next to the room of two Swedish girls. My girlfriend stormed out to go to a bar, so I knocked on the Swedish girl's room because I needed someone to talk to. They apologized for not coming to the door quickly because they were in the middle of taking "Eve pictures." Instead of pursuing my natural instincts, I decided to whine about my current relationship. What a shmuck I was. I could have had too Swedish girls at once, and one was really hot. I mean really hot. I wound up going out partying with them, but ended up bumping into my ex. I did her one more time for the road. But I was thinking about the Swedish hottie.
I also had sex on a major hotel beach in daylight in Aruba with my then girlfriend, and now wife. It was in waist high water, and the nearest person to us had to be 30 feet away. It probably just looked like we were making out passionately, and madly in love, to anyone who happened to glimpse at us.
Oh yeah, my wife never reads my blog.

5) Up until recently, I co-owned race horses. The business became uneconomical for me, so I don't own any at this time. I am very knowlegable when it comes to horse racing, and I'm not just saying that. I haven't blogged about horse racing here, but I do have another blog that I contribute to. Cangamble is just a way to keep my employers informed more or less, in case they miss something.

I hate tagging real people so I will tag God, Jesus, Moses, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny.

Added bonus pic. I just got a digital camera (so expect more pics). Jake and Daisy are pictured in this one. Jake (part border collie and probably part lab) is a recent acquisition. My youngest brother adopted Jake from an old lady who was shipped to an old folks home a couple of years ago. Jake is basically crippled in the back legs (he is big and old, probably 10 or 11). In October, my brother moved to a house with lots of stairs, and Jake couldn't handle them. My house has a large main floor and it is only a couple of stairs to a big backyard.
I don't know how he makes it on the couch because he can't do more than 2 stairs, but he is able to somehow use his back legs as temporary leverage.
He is our resident garbage can when it comes to food scraps. We don't feed scraps to Daisy....she is much too special for scraps.
Jake has close to no personality. I'm not bonding with him at all, but my wife gives him enough attention for the both of us.

January 15, 2007

Stereotype Meme

Since it is MLK day in the US, I figure it is as good a day as any to start a Stereotype Meme. If you intend to be PC, don't even bother trying this. Potential targets? Jews, Blacks, Asians, Fundies, Atheists, Arabs, Muslims, Agnostics, Catholics, Pro-Lifers, Pro-Choicers, Vegetarians, Republicans, Moonbats, Democrats, Liberals, Progressive Conservatives, YECs, NDPs, Satanists, Scientists, Pro Athletes, or anything you can think of.

This is what triggered the idea to start this:

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.

ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a hooker.

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.

ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!

ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

ATHIEST DAD: Why not?

ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.

ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?

ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!

ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

Hat tip: Fundies Say The Darndest Things

Just a few corrections to the author, Prince of Pain: "AthIEst" is spelled AthEIst, "eachother" is really two words, and Atheists do not claim to be tolerant of all religions. Other than that, I think you nailed us Atheists.

In the comment section over at FSTDT, a couple of people already gave it a try:

Here is one by szenah. What it would be like if fundies were the majority:

Fundie kid: "Mom, I'm going to go beat up some fags."

Fundie mom: "Okay, dear, just be back in time for our afternoon prayers and blood-drinking ritual."

Fundie kid: "Of course. God will want to know what a good job I did defeating his enemies. Maybe I can kill one of them today."

Later, the fundie dad gets home from work and beats his wife to establish his Godly dominance in the family.

Fundie wife: "Thank you, dear. I'm so relieved that I have a real Christian man for a husband. Now can you pray for the healing of my broken nose and concussion?

Fundie husband: "Not until you have finished scrubbing the bathroom floor with a toothbrush, you sinful daughter of Eve." He goes to get his belt and stand over her as she scrubs, beating her if she misses a spot, in spite of her broken arm.

Suddenly a neighbor rushes in. "Come quick, we found a child reading a Harry Potter book. She's tied to a stake now and we're gathering wood for the fire. We need all the good Christians there to shout at the witch as she burns."

The fundies rush out, grabbing twigs from their yard as they go. "Praise God, it's so good that we have the chance to kill another heathen. We've burned five children in this neighborhood alone this year. The Lord is good."


And this from John making fun of Fundies too:

FUNDIE'S KID: Mom, I'm going to church.
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, son.
FUNDIE'S KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go read the Bible with my friends."
FUNDIE MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The kid leaves the room snickering and goes out to fuck a hooker and smoke pot. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

FUNDIE DAD: Hey!
FUNDIE MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again."
FUNDIE DAD: Jesus Christ! How'm I gonna to make the payments on my new pickup truck? And what about the big-screen TV we wanted? Hell, we don't even have medical insurance. Okay, you better get an abortion. Just don't tell our friends!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
FUNDIE NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Jew movin' into the neighborhood!
FUNDIE MOM: We'll be right there!

The fundie couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a fundie is nailing together a large, wooden X. They set it on the new neighbor's lawn and light it on fire. A crowd of fundies stand around, all wearing white robes and hoods.

RANDOM FUNDIE: Damn you, Jew! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate yours! That's because we fundies are hypocritical like that! Die, Jew!

THE END


************The rules are that there has to be a mom, dad, kid, neighbor, and random character. You have to start with the premise "what if...."
Length doesn't matter, it is just the quality that counts
(where have I heard that before?). If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your creation in my comment section. Warning: this is harder than it looks, and takes some creativity.

Meme trivia: the term Meme (rhymes with "theme") was coined by Atheist guru, Richard Dawkins, in 1976, and the word has evolved very much since then.

OK, now here goes my shot at this (I'm just going to use the anti-Atheists template).

What would it be like if Moonbats were in charge of the Western world:

MOONBAT SON: Mom, I'm going to Mosque.

MOONBAT MOM: Excellent idea son. Even though we don't believe in what Islam teaches, it is important that we do what Muslims want, or they might kill us if they get pissed off.

MOONBAT KID: (After coming home from the Mosque) I'm going to City Hall to the protest march. The government is still making people who enter the country use passports. We must put a stop to this.

MOONBAT MOM: Okay, come home soon I'm cooking dinner right now.

MOONBAT SON: What are we having? Porkchops? Just kidding, I know that pork is banned.

The moonbat son leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

MOONBAT DAD: Hi darling, I agreed to take in a new boarder. You'll like him.

MOONBAT MOM: Of course I will. Is he a murderer who came from a broken home, like our last boarder?

MOONBAT DAD: No, this time it is a serial child molester who came from a broken home.

MOONBAT MOM: That is great. We'll reform him. He just needs a chance.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes, it is important for us to gain his trust.

MOONBAT MOM: Good idea, I'll set the up bunk beds in our son's room. That will make him trust us.

MOONBAT DAD: Yes. And make sure you give our new boarder choice if he wants the top or the bottom.

MOONBAT MOM: I just hope he doesn't think we are coming on too strong, and thinks that we are phonies. Remember, he is a victim. We must nurture him accordingly.

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

MOONBAT NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there is an Arab with a machine gun!

MOONBAT MOM: We'll be right there!

The Moonbat couple goes outside to join the MOONBAT crowd gathered around the Arab. The Arab is looking to see if there are any Jews left in the neighborhood. The Moonbat couple can only think of the people 6 houses down because they have a Jewish sounding last name, but they aren't sure if they are Jews or not because they don't look Jewish.

RANDOM MOONBAT: I never liked those people anyways. They didn't come to the Cindy Sheehan lecture at the stadium.....Remember Rachel Corrie!

THE END

Anyone can do this. I tag everyone. I especially tag Southfield at Keeping Up With The Blogses, Michael at A Few Random Thoughts, and Lex at Gripes of Wrath.

January 13, 2007

Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion Are True: The Cat Is Out Of The Bag


Hat tip: Fluid Mind

About the singer/writer from his Myspace site:

Rav Shmuel is a rabbi who drinks beer and plays original compositions on his guitar. He has a beard and sidelocks and he loves The Dead. He does not see an inconsistency between these two identities. Rather, he thinks of Judaism and music as complementary and often coalescing tools and methods for communication (blah blah blah).

Rav, who has taught Jewish Philosophy and Talmud at various Universities, has also toured the country with Gefiltefish, his first stateside band, playing sold-out parking lots before and after Phish shows. He does not play klezmer, although he does make the odd Maimonidean joke. He thinks of himself as a Rock Star.


Speaking of the Protocols of the the Elders of Zion, PBS just aired a program, Anti-Semitism in the 21st Century. I found it pretty fair when it came to the history of the Israeli conflict. It was only an hour show, so it was difficult to cover everything properly. I was slightly taken aback by the emphasis on blaming Christians as the root source of Arab/Muslim hatred of the Jews. I think that is oversimplifying things a tad.

They did make the Arab nations out as hate mongering assmonkeys for their collective acceptance of the Protocols, and their perpetual teaching of it. It must be humiliating for 350 million Arabs constantly losing to 5 million Jews, so they must cling to conspiracy theories and known forgeries to keep their egos up.

Of course, Paliphile viewers found the PBS show to be extremely biased. But what else is new. Historical fact and the truth is not on the side of Paliphiles.


Read some pro and con comments/reviews here.

January 11, 2007

Science News: Monkeys Wear Perfume?

I really like World Science. They have a lot of really interesting articles that are pretty easy to read.

Here is one that caught my eye:

Sci­en­tists have been re­porting sight­ings of wild spi­der mon­keys rub­bing them­selves with chewed-up leaves that may func­tion as per­fumes. Although it’s un­pro­ven that they do it spe­ci­fi­cal­ly to take on an aro­ma, mount­ing ev­i­dence points that way, the in­vest­i­ga­t­ors say.

I know, I know. The sentence has Fundies favorite "scientific term" in it; unproven. Yes, this is "still a theory." This means that further findings and studies may falsify the theory. Again, not to be confused with evolution and the mounds and mounds and mounds of evidence that has turned evolution into a fact, although there a many sub theories within it. Evolution is fact because it even observable. Take the cane toads in Australia for example, and the snakes that pray on them.

Again, if evolution were false, there would be mounds of evidence that contradicts it. Just as there is mounds of evidence that contradicts the old theory that the sun revolved around the earth.

The world is a wonderful place when you accept scientific facts and findings.


And who says that apes are so different from man. Oh yeah, the Fundies. Well, check this out. Chimps have obviously discovered a great way to relieve stress.
********Don't view this if you are an inappropriate person
:


Still thinks man is special? The above video gets me thinking. First off, I wasn't able to see the front of the altruistic chimp, so I couldn't tell if it was a he or a she.
Was this nature or nurture? And if nurture, was it taught by man? Maybe Ted Haggard is working on a new flock. Baptist chimps? It has been done before.



But if this wasn't taught by man(by man I mean man or woman), it had to be taught by chimp, and then it inevitably has to be nature, unless you believe God told the chimps what to do. Who would have thought that every sperm isn't sacred?

The chimps have come up with a great way to help mankind progress.
For a good 15 to 20 minutes Louie is void of aggression. The female can go on with her daily chores knowing she won't be bothered for at least 15 minutes and Louie can now think about things like a feeding his family, building towns, curing cancer, etc.

I wonder what our world would be like if humans were just like Louie and his friend.

Meanwhile, I'm bringing a large stone into the bedroom and I'm gonna take off my clothes, get on top of the stone and act like a chimp. Lets see what the wife does.

January 9, 2007

What Attracts Atheist Jews To Israel

I have been arguing/debating/lecturing a few people on the Raving Atheist forums lately on the fact that a very high percentage of Jews in Israel are Atheist or Agnostic, that the majority of Jews in Israel never attend synagogue on Saturday mornings, and that the founder of modern Zionism, Theodor Herzl was in fact an Atheist Jew.

This is something that many Israeli bashers really don't like. They like to blame the Israeli conflict on religion. Sure, the land of Israel was picked because it was the birthplace of the religion, but the reasons for Jews to go live there are very mixed.

I just want to make something clear. I am happy to live in Canada at this moment and have no desire to live in Israel, so I can only speculate (a very good educational guess) as to exactly why an Atheist or Agnostic Jew would want to live in the land promised by the Invisible Sky Fairy.

1. To escape anti-semitism. This was Herzl's main goal. Unfortunately, his dream didn't happen before Hitler proved his point. Anti-semitism can get out of hand anywhere in the world at any time. Recently, many Jews left France for Israel to further justify this point in today's "modern" world. Nobody mentioned if these French Jews believed in God or to what degree. In other words, I wouldn't be surprised if many non believers were amongst those who migrated to Israel. Anti-semitism is a hatred of ethnic Jews more than it is of religious Jews. If I was in France and saw what was going on there first hand, I might have jumped ship too.
This idea of escaping anti-semitism can be equated today as assuring oneself that he or she will be treated as an equal.

2. To be with family. Lets face it, most Atheist Jews have religious Jewish relatives. If economically viable, for example, a family business, I can see why a Jew may leave for Israel. Also, one person, a husband or wife may become very religious in his or her life and ultimately decide to live out the rest of their life in Israel, taking the family with them. There is no assurance that some or most of the family share equal beliefs.

3. Atheist Jews born in Israel. Contrary to the garbage fed by Liberal Israeli haters and the Arab media, over 65% of Jews alive today in Israel were born in Israel. Israel is a modern country with a modern education system. And education creates Atheists. Scientific facts, geology, and archaeology all make a literal bible nothing more than a Dr. Seuss novel. From there, the more questions one asks (and Jews are taught to ask questions), the higher the probality that one who honestly looks at the answers, will turn into an Agnostic if not Atheist in many instances.


The above reasons leads to another main reason for an Atheist Jew to go to Israel:

4. Politics.

Where on this planet can an open Atheist get elected and become a trusted politician, with a high post?

Not many places, and definitely not the USA (Atheists are the least trusted minority in the USA), and probably even Canada today.

Now where can an open Atheist Jew get elected and become a trusted politician, with a high post? A religious Jew has a shot, just don't admit to Atheism. In other words lie about yourself.
Hey, wait a sec, isn't being a good liar a prerequisite to making it big as a Politician in the US?

The only place an open Atheist Jew can get to the top or near the top politically is most likely Israel. Maybe, Denmark, Sweden, and even the UK (guaranteed assassination in the UK), too. But you'd have to be slightly to aggressively anti-Zionist in those three countries to make it.

Separation of church and state doesn't matter much when it comes getting votes in a country where the majority believes in God. Politics shouldn't be like that, but even today, this is the way it is in the USA and Canada to a lesser extent.


To conclude, if I want my political ideas to be considered on an equal playing field (where religion does not matter), I can only have this Utopian equality in Israel.

Some Atheists have defied the odds in the world. Surprisingly Wikipedia lists 3 from India. Many were communist, but only one was brutal (Stalin, the poster boy for political Atheists in the Theist world). Former Polish president Aleksander Kwaƛniewski, is an Atheist, but his voters thought he was just an indifferent Agnostic. Agnostics can get away with so much more socially than Atheists because they can still be saved (to the Theist). Agnostics are just one crisis away from being devoutly religious (to the Theist).


The Wikipedia list is most likely missing quite a few Atheist politicians. Especially those in Israel.

Remember this exchange with George Bush Sr.:

Sherman (interviewer from American Atheists): What will you do to win the votes of the Americans who are atheists?

Bush: I guess I'm pretty weak in the atheist community. Faith in God is important to me.

Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?

Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.

Sherman (somewhat taken aback): Do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church?

Bush: Yes, I support the separation of church and state. I'm just not very high on atheists.


Right now, an equal political chance doesn't matter to me and I don't feel threatened as an ethnic Jew, so it is still Oh Canada for me.