May 1, 2006


According to the Brussels Journal: Spain May Grant Human Rights to Apes.

The Spain Herald reports that the bill is calling for "the immediate inclusion of (simians) in the category of persons, and that they be given the moral and legal protection that currently are only enjoyed by human beings."
I see nothing wrong with this. Of course, the intentions have to do with habitat and animal protection. But I wonder if passed, do the implications also include housing, wages and even same sex marriage.

This stuff really must piss off the Christian Right especially. It is a total recognition on how closely related humans are to chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and orangutans. The evolutionary and genetic similarities between man and ape are too obvious to a thinking man.
Click cartoon below to enlarge:

Fundies really hate the fact that is evolution. Our common ape ancestor appeared around 25 million years ago. Between then and around 5 million years the ancestor of human beings appeared. 99% of all species go extinct, so there were probably lots of variations in the ape family, including the extinct Neanderthal man.
Interestingly, humans share 98.4% of our genes with chimpanzees, 97.7% with gorillas, and 96.4% with orangutans. And the sequence of their appearance on the planet is predictable by evolution theory. Chimps the closest relation(other than bonobos) to humans appeared 5 million years ago, gorillas appeared 7 million years ago and orangutans, 8 million years ago.
The bonobos evolved from chimps between 2 and 2.5 million years ago, and they have evolved into the most similar species to humans.

I like how Amnesty International has a hard time dealing with this. They have no problem supporting terrorists who strap on suicide bombs. But they have a problem with banana eaters who don't blow up innocents.

Why not give these apes the same human rights we give the minors, the mentally handicapped and the Christian Fundies get? Apes are our cousins and man is driving many of them into extinction. And they are helpless. They need our support. I'm glad Spain is taking notice.

Here is more info about great ape extinction.


  1. I am all for humane treatment of animals, but this measure is probably too much.

    If they are given human legal status, doesn't that imply they should have access to courts and that they can vote?

    This may also be a political game anyway, as I am not aware of ANY simians in Spanish jurisdiction. Except of course, zoos and circuses, which may mean they would have to be immediately freed. Then what do you do with them?

    This doesn't seem to be well thought out.

  2. Pimpette, please refer to the chart found in the post and do a wikipedia search for evolution so you don't have to ask such blonde questions.

  3. Isn't it rich?
    Aren't we a pair?
    Me here at last on the ground,
    You in mid-air,
    Send in the clowns.

    Isn't it bliss?
    Don't you approve?
    One who keeps tearing around,
    One who can't move.
    Where are the clowns?
    Send in the clowns.

    Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
    Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
    Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
    Sure of my lines,
    No one is there.

    Don't you love farce?
    My fault I fear.
    I thought that you'd want what I want.
    Sorry, my dear.
    But where are the clowns?
    Quick, send in the clowns.
    Don't bother, they're here.

    Isn't it rich?
    Isn't it queer,
    Losing my timing this late
    In my career?
    And where are the clowns?
    There ought to be clowns.
    Well, maybe next year.

  4. Jails are already overcrowded. We can't afford to start jailing banana theives.

  5. I think the apes are a little cocky to tell you the truth. I guess that is what having people call you great all the time will do. Superman, Wonder Woman, Great Ape.

  6. Can we grant rights to mice and rats too? They share ~85% of our genetic code. What about bananas? They share greater than 50%. Does this mean that we will be required by law to prevent our simian cousins from eating bananas on the grounds that it is cannibalism? Bananas have rights too man...

  7. Wait for the simian trade-unions, then we shall really watch out...

  8. Hmm well unfortunately ALL the true science leads to the conclusion that evolution is not possible. There is no process that can alter or increase the complexity of our DNA. There is no evidence in the fossil record. When we look out into the world with honest eyes whant we see is that we are suffering from a Devolutionary process. A loss of DNA information over time. We are inferior genetically from Mankind living in the golden ages.

    For more info visit:

  9. Info, you are lying or just plain willfully ignorant.
    In fact, there is no evidence that contradicts evolution, and if evolution were false, there would be plenty.

    Keep fooling yourself, but quit playing on the internet or you will end up losing even more of your flock.