July 24, 2006

Bacon and God: The End Is Near

Click cartoon to enlarge it

Hey, before you complain. This cartoon didn't cost you a penny to view. Keep that in mind.

Amazingly over 65% of Americans literally believe that Jesus will return and the majority of those people believe in some form of Armageddon. A large number believe the Rapture will happen in their lifetime, and there are quite a few people thinking the current middle east conflicts, started in Iraq, and carrying through into Israel is a sign that Jesus is coming back in 7 years. I saw that on Paul Zahn tonite.

Jerry Falwell is licking his chops, anticipating the death of 2 billion people.

Now I'm not too sure about the rules. They seem different, depending on who you ask.

I was talking to my Fundy friends, and they said that Jews have a last chance to accept Jesus. I'm not sure if that is after Jesus comes back, because that wouldn't really be fair, or much of a decision, or up to the point that Jesus returns. That would definitely make it more fun. I'm sure that the Christian God wouldn't want all those Jews who saw Jesus return and then decided to accept him to be in heaven for all eternity. I don't think the Christians get to choose after the fact, so why should the Jews.

Here is another thing I'd like to pose to the 7 year doomsayers: What if Iran is nuked within a year(probably sooner), and lets say 2 billion people die, but then 7 years goes by, and no Jesus.....will you throw away your stupid book of myths and start accepting evolution and an ancient earth?


  1. It's not just the christians. There's a fair number of Hindus that think we are in the Kali yuga, the age of Kali. Kali is the goddess of destruction. The age of Kali is basically the last 50 years or so during which chaos overtakes the earth and everything is destroyed.

    It makes me wonder for how much of human history a significant percentage of the population have beleived that we're all about to die. It makes me wonder if such a persons decision making faculties can be unaffected by such an extreme belief. It makes me wonder why we didn't invent prozac before the wheel.

    I am also curious about the complete lack of solidarity that humans seem to feel for each other that they are just so thrilled to see a god destroy everyone and for christians, see the majority of the population burn for eternity in hell. Nice people, so happy to see hundreds of millions of children fast tracked to an eternal roasting.

    Even if by some unbelievably improbable twist of reality their god is real, then I stand with humanity and he can kiss my sphincter. I could never tolerate being saved by such an evil beast.

  2. LoL. I was talking to a Hasidic Jew the other day (second time ever) and asked how long he was going to stay in town A. He told me "till Moshaya comes". Finished off the conversation.

  3. I think your cartoons are hilarious. People have been doing the sky is falling thing for as long as the messianic story has been know. Kind of makes me think things have been shitty for people for a long time. If/when Iran gets nuked and or attacked will the price of oil go up or down? Maybe Jesus will ride into Jerusalem on a donkey because he won’t be able to afford gas for his car.

    I was watching Paula Zahn last night. When she started getting all concerned about the end of days I turned off the tv and went to play video games on my pc. How can anyone call a story about the end of time news? What a joke. Its as valid as the war on Christmas. It seems the stupider the story the more people watch it. I expect by Sunday there will be an hour long special on how to prepare for the Rapture.

  4. T.A.J.-- I especially enjoyed your back and forth with the Church of Reality. Good stuff. Back soon.

  5. jhrhv, can you imagine how fantastic it would be to get a portion of the ad revenue for something like that? Hmm... I wonder why they run programs of that nature... hmm...

  6. Vile Blasphemer, fluff stories on the news achieve the same result with me as classical music does with teenagers. IT repels me.

  7. Hi Amy, always nice to see new commenters.

    I really don't have anything to add here. Except I'm really sorry for the corny joke.

  8. jhrhv, I liked classical quite a bit as a teenager.

    Bacon, bacon and corn are good with each other so I think you're safe.

  9. Errrm, so you're saying Jayzits is coming back as crispy bacon?

    Okay. I can dig that.

    All we have to do is wait for the Messaiah, so he can share some of the crispy Jayzits.

    Mmm, bacon! Rapture!