November 2, 2006

Was Ted Haggard Just Trying To Cure Male Prostitute?

Update: I just had to add this cartoon. Click the cartoon to enlarge it.

Oh, do I hope these allegations are true. Think Progress has linked a video news story that states a male prostitute alleges that he was paid for sex by the main pastor of GW Bush, Ted Haggard. And that this business affair lasted for 3 years.


Haggard is one of the biggest Evangelical leaders in America...which means the world when we are talking Evangelical Christians.

Haggard has stated that if one is a homosexual, you can still get to heaven as long as you don't do the dirty:

"Where should Christians draw the line when it comes to homosexuality? To answer that question I talked to Pastor Ted Haggard who is the President of the National Association of Evangelicals, and aide to President George W. Bush, and head pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

“All of us were in sin. All of us needed redemption,” said Haggard. “If a person has homosexual tendencies... they need to practice abstinence just as a single heterosexual would need to practice abstinence. The difference would be that the single heterosexual could get married and become sexually active with their heterosexual partner whereas, the homosexual would have to practice spirit control and self-restraint throughout the balance of their lifetime.

In I Corinthians 6:9-10 it clearly puts the issue of homosexuality on the table. In the New International Version of The Bible it says that “homosexual offenders” will not inherit the Kingdom of God. It would be easy for someone to say that homosexuals will not inherit the Kingdom of God. However, The Bible doesn’t say that. The Bible says “offenders”. Therefore, if someone claims to have been born a homosexual, they are not committing homosexual sins until they have comitted a homosexual act or “offense”.'

If the allegations are true, I guess Haggard isn't going to heaven, unless of course he converts to Catholicism. Then he just has to confess his sins. And Ted, homosexuals can still get married to women and have kids. You did.

I'm laughing while I'm typing this post. Again, if the story is true, it just solidifies my theory that those who shout the loudest against homosexuality and gay marriage are fighting their own "homosexual demons."

If you watch the video at Think Progress, you'll notice that Haggard is looking up to the right. This is a sign that one is thinking up a lie.

One of the main reasons I'm smiling is that Ted Haggard is an ignorant and dishonest Fundy, especially when it comes to evolution.

Here again is Richard Dawkins interviewing Ted from the Root Of All Evil flick:

******UPDATE, UPDATE, UPDATE*************

Looks like Haggard quit as fearless leader of the National Association of Reality Deniers

Sorry Mike, but this is really making my day.

***********UPDATE NUMBER TWO***************

Ted confesses. And Fox News is totally ignoring this story on TV. Cowards.


  1. BEAJ-

    Your schadenfreude's showing.

    Heh, heh. I'm keeping mine tucked in like tsitsis.

  2. I wear my Schadenfreude on my sleeve.

  3. It's your own yellow-star armband, huh?

    Ok, enough of that. I love to offend, but sometimes ya gotta draw a line.

    * * *

    What's with the moderated comments? Too much trolling from Moonbeam Boy's army after last week's throwdown, or just too much Spam?

  4. You made my day, AJ. :)
    That's the best morning news I could have ever got.

  5. Mike, Rickey who also goes by Anon has been spamming my blog with cut and paste Yahoo message board messages that are old and off topic.
    Sorry for the inconvenience.

    Roya, I hope it is true. Haggard is responsible for dumbing down hundreds of thousands of individucals in America, and if true, it should shut the religious right up about gay marriage for a couple of years.

  6. Hey Bacon can you correct my spelling mistakes while you're moderating?

  7. No can do. I'm thinking of dropping the moderating though and live with Rickey's posts and delete them when I see them, unless they aren't cut and pastes. I'm getting a lot of hits on this story.

  8. RE BAJ:

    "not do the dirty?"

    Does he mean not have anal sex? If you get to heaven by not having anal sex, I can definitely be considered as a potential candidate. lol

  9. BEAJ-

    Love the addendum to the post.

    Actually, I have an on-off relationship with Herr Freude, as in Schaden, not Sigmund (with whom I have an on-on relationship, like any card-carrying neurotic Jew from NYC).

    Like any raw emotion, it feels so good to, uhh, feel so good about someone you hate feeling so bad.

    If that makes any sense at all.

    But I've always wanted to aim for magnanimity in life, and try to rise about feelings that I define as petty.

    But you know what? Fuck this guy, he screwed up (and down, and in, and out, and apparently for money!).


  10. Of course Fox News will ignore it Bacon, can't let anything interfere with their John Kerry verbal gaffe coverage.

    I think that was the first time I ever saw Haggard speak (the Dawkins video) and he seem a little gay.

    Incidentally, did you see what South Park did with Richard Dawkins? It's funny and horrifying at the same time.

  11. I heard about the South Park, but in Canada, Southpark is about 2 to 3 months behind. Why? I have no friggin idea. I have 200 friggin TV channels, including many American stations, but our Comedy central works in mysterious ways.

  12. I can see Haggard now..."Please sir, just step over here into my rectory."

    I bet he can't wait for this week's conference call with the President. Awwkkward.

    I love that Dawkins video. Haggard uses the old evangelical line "It's hard to believe that the eye or the ear just happened by accident." At least Dawkins doesn't let him get away with it like the 12,000 people in his congregation.

  13. Love it - just caught a snippet on a Detroit 7 news channel...

  14. I share your frustration BEAJ. How much Wayne and Shuster do I need?

  15. Ummm. Who was being arougant? I don't think it was dawkins!

  16. Yeah right. I bought it and then just threw it away shortly after, because it was wrong.

    Well, if it was wrong, why buy it in the first place?

  17. LMAO @ that strip. You should create more of these funny entries, as you obviously have a knack for it.

  18. The video of Ted Haggard shows what an appalling person he is.
    Looking into his eyes, I'm glad that he was born in America and not the Middle East. Just imagine him preaching the other religion, wearing a vest packed with explosives...know what I mean?

  19. I just hope this is an eye-opener for the middle-of-the-road evangelist. Maybe thay start being more tolerant by forgiving their pastor for his "sin". the real sin is not the homosexual sex. It is the lying to the crowd.

  20. This is the funniest story of the week, including your cartoon interpretation, of course. ;-)

  21. What ticks me off about guys like Haggard is the fact that they illicit huge amounts of sympathy for not being able to practise what they preach.

    The homophobia that this dude generated, and the hatred he helped to create in other people towards homosexuals is disgusting.

    And yet, does the christian community chastise him severely for his hypocrisy? No. They are going to pray for him. What a bunch of wingnuts.

  22. "If you watch the video at Think Progress, you'll notice that Haggard is looking up to the right. This is a sign that one is thinking up a lie."

    I watched the video and I didn't catch him looking up to the right. Since I didn't catch it, I'll assume you meant looking up to his right, your left (because if you meant that he looked up to your right, his left, that would be a sign that he's accessing a visual memory, or not lying). If he looked up to his right, your left, that would be a sign that he's lying, assuming he's right handed.

    Are you sure that's the case?

  23. He was looking to his right. That is what I meant. And I wrote about his lying before he admitted that he was lying.