January 9, 2010

An Atheist's NFL Predictions

Most who have been following my blog for a while know that I have a passion for the NFL. I play in Fantasy Football leagues, and I've been known to wager on a game or two.

One of my friends asked me for my predictions for the Wild Card Playoff games that start today.

Something weird dawned on me. After giving my picks, I found that I liked all the teams this week that had a (non human) animal as their nickname.

The Cincinnati BENGALS, the Philadelphia EAGLES, the Baltimore RAVENS, and the Arizona CARDINALS are my selections for this week.

Did the fact that my last post had to do with the absurdity of Noah's Ark subconsciously influence my picks? Or did I subconsciously make my selections before I felt compelled to post the Noah's Ark video? Since there is probably no God, the answer to this mystery will never be solved.

Now, I do have a problem not allowing human beings to be also placed under the "animal" classification. But including the New England PATRIOTS, the Dallas COWBOYS, and Green Bay PACKERS as animals would have taken out a lot of material for this particular post I'm making. So just as I am able to empathize with the animal kingdom and support animal rights causes, yet I'm also able to eat meat, I'm also able to accept the biblical definition of animal when it suits my purpose.

Another thing that made me do a double take was the nickname Packers. For my almost 49 years on this planet, I never thought about what Packers are. It would be funny if it is short for Fudge Packers, but alas it is not. So for those who care, here is the history of the Packer name straight out of Wikipedia:

Curly Lambeau, the team's founder, solicited funds for uniforms from his employer, the Indian Packing Company. He was given $500 for uniforms and equipment, on condition that the team be named for its sponsor (a similar event would occur the following year with the Decatur Staleys, who later became the Chicago Bears). An early newspaper article referred to the new Green Bay team as "the Indians" but by the time they played their first game they had adopted the name "Packers."

In the early days, the Packers also were referred to as the "Bays" and the "Blues" (and even occasionally as "the Big Bay Blues"). These never were official nicknames, although Lambeau did consider replacing "Packers" with "Blues" in the 1920s.

In 1920, the Indian Packing Company was purchased by the Acme Packing Company. Acme continued its support of Lambeau's team, and in its first season in the NFL the team wore jerseys with the words "ACME PACKERS" emblazoned on the chest.

The only team this week that is named after an object is the New York JETS. But other than the Cleveland BROWNS and Buffalo BILLS (which has an animal for a town name and uses the Buffalo as their logo), all other teams are named after either humans or animals.

I don't get why birds are so popular for football teams especially. Meat eating animals are OK though like The Bears.

OK, back to my NFL predictions. So lets say I'm right about the first round. Now here is where it gets trickier. I think Arizona will beat Minnesota and New Orleans will beat Philadelphia next week. The San Diego Chargers will kill the Cincinnati Bengals and the Baltimore Ravens will upset the Indianapolis Colts (of course, Baltimore would have to upset the New England Patriots tomorrow first).

I like Arizona to upset the New Orleans Saints and the San Diego Chargers to take care of Baltimore.

In the Super Bowl, I predict the San Diego Chargers will be victorious.

Incidentally, the Chargers are not named after a credit card customer or an instrument that replenishes batteries. They are actually named after a charging horse (a large strong horse formerly ridden into battle). But evolution reared its ugly head, and the Chargers lost the horse, and now only have a lightning bolt associated with them.

The horse's head (never on the helmet) went extinct after the 1973 season.

So much for irreducible complexity. According to Intelligent Design Theory, one would have to think that if you took out something as functional as a horse's head, the system would cease to exist. Apparently the lightning bolt is still thriving and so are the San Diego Chargers.

Last year, I'm still upset that Jesus didn't help Arizona Cardinal's quarterback Kurt Warner win the Super Bowl. He made it close, but allowed a divine miracle to occur right near the end of the game when Santonio Holmes made an unbelievable catch:

Jesus and God, I still can't figure out if they are one and the same at times, have done a great job to make it seem that there is randomness to who they favour and who they let win NFL football games.

There could be another explanation. It has been 10 since Jesus and God bet on Kurt Warner in the Super Bowl. Why do God and Jesus need to bet? I'll let the theologians chime in and answer that one. I'm sure they'll come up with a reason.