November 29, 2010

What Stevie Johnson Should Have Learned

In case you haven't heard, yesterday, during the Buffalo Bills/Pittsburgh Steelers NFL football game, a Bills wide receiver, Stevie Johnson, dropped an easy to catch ball in the end zone during overtime. Pittsburgh went on to win.

He Tweeted the following after the game:

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The list of what Stevie should have learned is quite large. Here are a few off the top of my head:

1. It is hard to praise the Lord and catch a ball at the same time. Cut down the praising to a maximum of 24/6. After all, Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest for the Zombie worshipers.

2. Stevie had a three touchdown day the week before, and yesterday he dropped 5 balls, catches that my border collie would have made. This is evidence that either God bet on the Bills one week, and bet against them the next, or that God, even if one were to exist, doesn't give a crap about football, or the most likely of scenarios, that God does not exist, so Stevie should stop wasting his time worshiping.

3. Stevie should have learned that you need to focus on catching the ball regardless of who is helping him or not helping him. The week prior it was Stevie who caught those balls, and yesterday it was Stevie who dropped them. Quit shifting responsibility where it doesn't belong, that is far Lefty thing to do. See, the far Left and the Religious Right have more in common than you would normally think.

In closing, Stevie, if you read this, don't give up on learning, give up on praying, it is totally unnecessary.

H/T Kris The Sexy Atheist.

Stevie Johnson's Twitter page.