March 16, 2006
Has This Commercial Been on North American TV?
I guess this is too offensive for 45% of America. You know who you are.
Todays Question: Does an Atheist have to believe in evolution?
I say yes. If you say the Atheist may not have an opinion, I would then ask: Do you believe man started off on earth as man?
March 15, 2006
CREATION SCIENCE GEOLOGIC TIME SCALE
A Creation "Science" Geologic Time Scale
(1) 4000 B.C. Creation Week: (laws of science suspended)
Day 1 - Space, light & dark, earth materials.
Day 2 - Waters above and waters below.
Day 3 - Earth's crust and plants.
Day 4 - Sun, moon, and stars in place.
Day 5 - Atmosphere + animals of the waters.
Day 6 - Land animals + Adam & Eve.
Day 7 - Day of rest.
1,500 years. Pre-Flood "Geology." Laws of science invalid.
(2) Adam and Eve, talking snakes, etc.
(3) World's waters are in great Venus-like atmosphere or in ground
water. No rain, no ocean basins.
(4) Radiometric dating invalid; speed of light changed.
(5) Humans, dinosaurs, mammals, the "works," all live together in
peace. Both lions and Tyranosaurus Rex are vegetarians in Eden before
the "fall."
(6) Human life spans up to 900 years.
(7) Battle of Satan and angels produces craters on moon.
Flood Year: Flood "Geology" - ONE (?) year of normal (?) "science"
Rain - 40 days
(8) Big animals run to mountain tops. Not a single dumb human caught
in all the early flood sediments. All dinosaurs washed off only in
middle flood-time.
(9) Coral reefs (Guadalupe Mountains of Texas) grow to thicknesses of
half a mile during single year.
(10) Vast coal beds accumulate one on top of another, each as original
swamp deposits on order of 100 feet thick, all in one year.
(11) Mile-thick salt formations in Utah form by evaporation (!) of
seawater during (!) the flood.
Flood - about 250 days.
(12) Most of the world's sedimentary rocks dumped on continents to
average thickness of one mile, almost entirely during the flood year.
(13) Most continental drift occurs. Flood waters drain into the newly
formed ocean basins. Atlantic opens at average rate of 1/2 mile per
hour.
(14) Most deep sea sediments (average about 1,500 feet thick) collect
on the newly opened ocean floors.
(15) Hawaiian volcano built 30,000 feet high on new sea floor. (Cools
enough for birds and plants from Ark to colonize soon after end of
flood year.
Final Retreat - ? 100 days ?
(16)Volcano of Mount Ararat built 7,000 feet high underwater and cools
in time for grounding of the Ark.
(17) Successive Yellowstone ash beds bury 10 to 27 forests one on top
of another, all grown during single year.
(18) Grand Canyon cut by receding flood waters. Flood sediments
de-water and harden in one year to rock strong enough to stand as
steep, mile-high cliffs.
Post-Flood Geology - 4,500 years of normal (?) science to
Present
(19)From Ark, Noah (?) directs streams of distinctive animal and plant
communities to migrate to Africa, Australia, South America, etc.
(Ferry service ?) (Some creationists use post-flood continental
drift at rates up to one mile per hour !)
(20)Sun stands still for Israelite battle. Earth stops rotating and
then starts again due to near-miss by Venus out of its orbit ?
(Velikovsky)
(21)Only one ice age as post-flood atmosphere cools.
Geologists' abundant evidence of many great ice advances
separated by sub-tropical vegetation and development of thick soil zones
between some advances are wrong.
(22)Late-flood granite masses, formed at 1,000 degrees (F.), cool to
present low temperatures at rates in violation of all laws of thermal
physics. Fit to radiometric dates is mere coincidence.
(23)Extreme rates of continental drift typical of flood (1/2 mile per
hour) suddenly slow to present-day laser-measured rates of inches per
year. Accord of present rates with radiometric dates is mere chance.
(24)Coral reefs (Bikini, Eniwetok) grow 1/2 to 1 mile thick in first
1,000 years (rate of one foot per month) then slow to present measured
rates of inches per century.
Thanks to IPO who posted this on a Yahoo message board.
(1) 4000 B.C. Creation Week: (laws of science suspended)
Day 1 - Space, light & dark, earth materials.
Day 2 - Waters above and waters below.
Day 3 - Earth's crust and plants.
Day 4 - Sun, moon, and stars in place.
Day 5 - Atmosphere + animals of the waters.
Day 6 - Land animals + Adam & Eve.
Day 7 - Day of rest.
1,500 years. Pre-Flood "Geology." Laws of science invalid.
(2) Adam and Eve, talking snakes, etc.
(3) World's waters are in great Venus-like atmosphere or in ground
water. No rain, no ocean basins.
(4) Radiometric dating invalid; speed of light changed.
(5) Humans, dinosaurs, mammals, the "works," all live together in
peace. Both lions and Tyranosaurus Rex are vegetarians in Eden before
the "fall."
(6) Human life spans up to 900 years.
(7) Battle of Satan and angels produces craters on moon.
Flood Year: Flood "Geology" - ONE (?) year of normal (?) "science"
Rain - 40 days
(8) Big animals run to mountain tops. Not a single dumb human caught
in all the early flood sediments. All dinosaurs washed off only in
middle flood-time.
(9) Coral reefs (Guadalupe Mountains of Texas) grow to thicknesses of
half a mile during single year.
(10) Vast coal beds accumulate one on top of another, each as original
swamp deposits on order of 100 feet thick, all in one year.
(11) Mile-thick salt formations in Utah form by evaporation (!) of
seawater during (!) the flood.
Flood - about 250 days.
(12) Most of the world's sedimentary rocks dumped on continents to
average thickness of one mile, almost entirely during the flood year.
(13) Most continental drift occurs. Flood waters drain into the newly
formed ocean basins. Atlantic opens at average rate of 1/2 mile per
hour.
(14) Most deep sea sediments (average about 1,500 feet thick) collect
on the newly opened ocean floors.
(15) Hawaiian volcano built 30,000 feet high on new sea floor. (Cools
enough for birds and plants from Ark to colonize soon after end of
flood year.
Final Retreat - ? 100 days ?
(16)Volcano of Mount Ararat built 7,000 feet high underwater and cools
in time for grounding of the Ark.
(17) Successive Yellowstone ash beds bury 10 to 27 forests one on top
of another, all grown during single year.
(18) Grand Canyon cut by receding flood waters. Flood sediments
de-water and harden in one year to rock strong enough to stand as
steep, mile-high cliffs.
Post-Flood Geology - 4,500 years of normal (?) science to
Present
(19)From Ark, Noah (?) directs streams of distinctive animal and plant
communities to migrate to Africa, Australia, South America, etc.
(Ferry service ?) (Some creationists use post-flood continental
drift at rates up to one mile per hour !)
(20)Sun stands still for Israelite battle. Earth stops rotating and
then starts again due to near-miss by Venus out of its orbit ?
(Velikovsky)
(21)Only one ice age as post-flood atmosphere cools.
Geologists' abundant evidence of many great ice advances
separated by sub-tropical vegetation and development of thick soil zones
between some advances are wrong.
(22)Late-flood granite masses, formed at 1,000 degrees (F.), cool to
present low temperatures at rates in violation of all laws of thermal
physics. Fit to radiometric dates is mere coincidence.
(23)Extreme rates of continental drift typical of flood (1/2 mile per
hour) suddenly slow to present-day laser-measured rates of inches per
year. Accord of present rates with radiometric dates is mere chance.
(24)Coral reefs (Bikini, Eniwetok) grow 1/2 to 1 mile thick in first
1,000 years (rate of one foot per month) then slow to present measured
rates of inches per century.
Thanks to IPO who posted this on a Yahoo message board.
March 14, 2006
The Racial Profiling Song
Here it is to the tune of my third favorite Billy Joel Song:
Thanks to The Voice who got it from Cannuckistan Chronicles.
Thanks to The Voice who got it from Cannuckistan Chronicles.
THE UNANIMATED SIMPSONS
| You Are Krusty the Clown |
 You were the class clown as a kid, and you still entertain people. From faking your own death to getting a wacky boob job, you'll do anything for a laugh. You will be remembered for: your face being everywhere, from cereal to home pregnancy tests Your life philosophy: "I heartily endorse this event or product." |
Religion Quotes from The Simpsons
"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."
- Homer Simpson
"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done." - Homer Simpson
"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!" - Homer Simpson
Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?”
- Homer Simpson
"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
- Homer Simpson
"Come on Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul! It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.”
- Bart Simpson
"I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, he came in peace and then died, only to come back to life, and his name was E.T., the extra terestrial. I loved that little guy."
- Reverend Lovejoy
"Once something has been approved by the Government, It's no longer immoral."
- Reverend Lovejoy
"And as we pass the collection plate, please give as if the person next to you was watching."
-Reverend Lovejoy
Lovejoy: "Get a divorce."
Marge: "But isn't that a sin?"
Lovejoy: "Marge, just about everything is a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."
"This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let us say the lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."
- Rev. Lovejoy
"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!"
- Ned Flanders
"I put out these milk and cookies as a sacrifice. If Thou wishest me to eat them, please give me a
sign by doing absolutely nothing. MMMMmmmm..."
- Homer Simpson
"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."
- Homer Simpson
"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons" episode #100, 1994
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder"
- Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager
Some more:
Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.
Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Homer: The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten.
Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
Barney: Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. - Bart
Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy. - Homer
March 13, 2006
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