THE UNANIMATED SIMPSONS

You Are Krusty the Clown

You were the class clown as a kid, and you still entertain people. From faking your own death to getting a wacky boob job, you'll do anything for a laugh. You will be remembered for: your face being everywhere, from cereal to home pregnancy tests Your life philosophy: "I heartily endorse this event or product."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Religion Quotes from The Simpsons

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."
- Homer Simpson

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done." - Homer Simpson


"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!" - Homer Simpson

Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?”
- Homer Simpson

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
- Homer Simpson

"Come on Milhouse, there’s no such thing as a soul! It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.”
- Bart Simpson

"I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, he came in peace and then died, only to come back to life, and his name was E.T., the extra terestrial. I loved that little guy."
- Reverend Lovejoy

"Once something has been approved by the Government, It's no longer immoral."
- Reverend Lovejoy

"And as we pass the collection plate, please give as if the person next to you was watching."
-Reverend Lovejoy

Lovejoy: "Get a divorce."
Marge: "But isn't that a sin?"
Lovejoy: "Marge, just about everything is a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom."

"This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let us say the lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."
- Rev. Lovejoy

"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!"
- Ned Flanders

"I put out these milk and cookies as a sacrifice. If Thou wishest me to eat them, please give me a
sign by doing absolutely nothing. MMMMmmmm..."
- Homer Simpson

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."
- Homer Simpson

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons" episode #100, 1994

"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder"
- Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager

Some more:

Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.

Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.

Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.


Homer: The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten.

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible.
Lisa: Really? Where?
Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.

Barney: Jesus must be spinning in his grave!

Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. - Bart

Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy. - Homer

OFFICIAL APOLOGY FROM DENMARK

Danish Muhammed Cartoons.com - United we stand - In the fight for the Freedom of Speech!




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Former Terrorists Tell the Truth and Shame Islamic Culture

The following video is an interview with 3 former Palestinian terrorists who now preach peace. The first person interviewed here is Walid Shoebat. Walid really pisses terrorists and their ass kissing supporters off, because he really shames them and their culture:



Below is a compilation of movie clips, cartoon clips and media clips that shows how Arabs are portrayed in Hollywood. It loads slower than I like, but it is well worth the wait:



I laughed at what Sharon Osbourne said on Larry King in the above clip.

Is Canada Growing Balls On The Palestinian Issue?

On Friday, Canada along with the USA vetoed a non-binding motion calling on Israel to allow all Palestinian refugee women and children to return to their homes.
"Their homes" ? Who writes this crap?
The South-African-sponsored resolution was adopted by the UN Economic and Social Council by a vote of 41-2. Lots of abstaining I imagine.
Hopefully this will be just a start of a brand new policy shift. I hope Harper remains consistent. I think it is obvious he understands that Hamas equals Al Qaeda. You don't aid terrorists, you do whatever it takes to destroy them.
The problem is that Canada is full of bleeding heart liberals who make excuses for terrorist acts and just don't get it.

I found the story in the comment section of Waking Up Planet X's story on Tom Fox.

Amazingly, doing a news search on Yahoo and Google I could only find one link about this vote.

The Bibles: Do People Really Know The History Of Them?

There a some great blogs out there that deal with debunking religion like Debunking Christianity, Goosing the Antithesis, and Recovering Ortho Jew. I'm not even going to pretend to be in their league as far biblical knowledge goes, but like with science, I'm pretty good when it comes to a layman's understanding of the topic. The points they discuss are fascinating. And what I find sad is, that the same people who call evolution a crock, also believe their bible is based on fact, in most instances.

I read a tremendous account of the history of the Old and New Testament this morning. I suggest that everyone of my readers check this out.
The author factually explains the reasons behind the content of the Bibles and the historical context which led to a need to write these "books of God."
To sum it up, bibles were written at times when followers were all over the map in their beliefs. The writers borrowed ancient mythological stories coupled with believable, but incorrect human history.
As literacy rates went up in the Holy land, writers put down their mythological stories on paper. The Old Testament writers of around 750-650 BC, used the story of the Hyksos who were driven out of Egypt around 1570 BC, as their foundation for the Exodus myth, for example.

In order to get the people to defend Israel from Assyria, the concept of monotheism was reinforced by Isaiah, who gave god some new and improved qualities.
When the Assyrians forced the Jews into exile, for 48 years, God's qualities again were modified, and when the Jews were allowed back as foreigners, even more modifications were made to be consistent with the times, like the NO KING rule.
Then came the Greek skeptics who started influencing many of the Jews of Palestine.
They started to look at the bible as a bunch of allegorical stories, causing Jews to be in different camps.
Quoting Scott Bidstrup's article, "And Greek philosophy, skeptical and secular in many ways, made a great deal of sense. So again our Hebrew culture is presented with a problem.
How can the Jewish god, who by now had acquired a great deal of mythological and philosophical baggage, be reconciled with the unspeakable, unknowable god(s) of the Greek philosophers?"
The literal maniacal jealous vengeful god wasn't a hit with most people.
Then came the height of Roman persecution of the Jews and the Destruction of the Second Temple, causing every Rabbi to be on his own. And of course, that maniac God let his people down again. The time was perfect just leading up to this event and of course after it, to redefine god one more time. Making him out to be a loving, understanding, turn the other cheek sort of dude, who promises an eternal blissful after life for all those who accept him. The early Christians found a perfect scam, people already believed in God, now they finally had the hook to reel the suckers in.
And of course it snowballed.
In fact, the Jesus myth was mostly a combination of Dionysus, a Greek God and Yeishu ha Notzri(Jesus of Nazereth???), a magician from around 100 BC and Pagan stories.
Not a word was written about Jesus until Mark put something on paper, around 70 AD, almost 40 years after Jesus' supposed death. He wrote nothing about the virgin birth or mangers or wisemen, because that idea didn't come along until later. The stories just built on one another from Mark to Matthew to Luke to John.

Taken from an article by John Bice, 'Early Christian cults embraced a highly diverse variety of beliefs and disagreed on numerous fundamental elements of faith. Some Christian groups believed Jesus was divine, but others believed he was merely a man. Some Jesus cults believed in two gods, others in 12, 30, even 365 distinct gods. Religious scholar, Bart Ehrman writes in his new book , "Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why.", "All these groups claimed to be Christian, insisting that their views were true and had been taught by Jesus and his followers."'
Eventually a weeding out process occurred, and the New Testament was written. Taking a little bit from here, and a little bit from there.


Of course, then came the numerous rewrites, Protestant revisions, the King James version, etc. All rewritten to appease the current political and religious leaders of the time they were rewritten. And of course the language barrier: "thousands of New Testament manuscripts exist, including over 5,700 in the original Greek language, but "among these thousands of copies, no two of them are exactly alike in their wording."

Bice concludes: "Rational people, however, will recognize that the Bible is a demonstrably imperfect, purposely altered and error-ridden collection of texts created by humans, not a mythical supreme being."

The one thing I liked the best from Bidstrup's article is the concept called the Negative Evidence Principle. I never heard of it before, but here is how he describes it:

"Here's how the N.E.P. works - it states that you have good reason for not believing in a proposition if the following three principles are satisfied: First, all of the evidence supporting the proposition has been shown to be unreliable. Second, there is no evidence supporting the proposition when the evidence should be there if the proposition is true. And third, a thorough and exhaustive search has been made for supporting evidence where it should be found."

The Negative Evidence Principle discredits both The Exodus, and the existence of Jesus Christ.

Again, don't shoot the messenger.