The Bronze Rat Joke

This is one of my all time favorites:

A man walks into a curio shop in Haifa. Looking around at the exotica, and he notices a very lifelike, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He took it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"

"Twelve shekels for the rat, one hundred shekels for the story," said the owner. The man gave the man twelve shekels. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and began following him down the street. This was disconcerting, he began walking faster. But within a couple blocks, the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing . He began to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the edge of the Bay, and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after it, and were all drowned.


The man walked back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," said the owner, "you have come back for the story?"
"No," said the man, I came back to see if you have a bronze Arab

Now, for the best blonde joke ever: click here.

ATHEIST OF THE MONTH (Hint: She is a member of Mensa)

In a world where the majority of porn stars believe in god and don't appear very bright, it is refreshing to see that Asia Carrera doen't get on her knees for the lord as well.

Thanks to Minister of Rants for the find.

Asia's real name is Jessica Andrea Steinhauser, and she was born August 6th, 1973.

" I've always been an atheist," says Asia."Science explains everything. Religion is silly."

You know, I've never cheated on my wife. And I've never done an Asian chick, not even half Asian. A porn star Atheist who belongs to Mensa would sure be tempting. I'll have to think about it.

For The Guys and Ellen Degeneres

Rated: Janet Jackson Nipple Slip Territory. Note: by clicking this link and making requests of the virtual girlfriend you are not cheating.

Thanks to Ramsey for finding this one.

Can I Still Brag About This?

This picture was taken at the Skydome around 6 years ago. Wow time flies. My sister dressed my niece up in anticipation of what Shania was going to wear. They were in the first row and sure enough, Shania spotted the little devil and brought her on stage with her. The picture even appeared in the Toronto Star.

My Worst Bacon and God To Date

I mean worst as in unfunny. I usually think of the punchline as I write the comic. This time I worked around a punchline. Yep, it is a lame cartoon.

I thought I was more evil than this

You Are 46% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

I'm not as evil as Bane, and he believes in God.

Two More Science Stories That Mean Nothing To Fundies

I take it for granted that I can accept scientific findings rather easily, I admit I have confidence in the scientific method. It must really suck seeing a story about Neanderthals and Early Humans coexisting and thinking it is a bunch of hooey, or not even trying to understand it. Or seeing a story about early mammals swimming with dinosaurs 164 million years ago and shaking your head at it.

But then again, it must be like being learning disabled or even in a vegetative Alzheimer's state or something like that; dismissing scientific findings because it goes against ones ego or goes against man's written words of 2000 years ago. Again, I'm glad it isn't me.

These two new discoveries easily fit into the overall theory of evolution. However, they might wipe out some minor theories, and of course strengthen many other theories. Most findings have a domino effect on existing theories, adding strength to seemingly less related ones. That is the beauty of science, each new discovery is like a jigsaw puzzle piece in the giant puzzle of the history of life and the universe. For example, as more evidence is found, the exact timelines that Neanderthal and Early Man's actually coextisted can be made more certain. As more evidence is found, the exact timeline of the first early mammal and the first swimming mammal can be be made more certain.

These two findings don't help out the Fundy theory of creation one bit though, the only thing Fundies can say about it that it proves that scientists don't have all the answers and then they twist it to conclude that scientists are wrong, therefore creation is right and evolution is dead.

As soon as something doesn't fit into a scientific theory, the theory has to be revised or killed. No scientific finding as ever gone against evolution theory and supported Young Earth Creation. It always seems to be the other way. And don't think there aren't a ton of Creationists with PHD's looking to disprove evolution. They've tried for years, and they just can't.

Does This Sound Like America's Ally?

Right from the US Dept. of State Travel Website:

SAFETY AND SECURITY: Americans in the United Arab Emirates should exercise a high level of security awareness. The Department of State remains concerned about the possibility of terrorist attacks against U.S. citizens and interests throughout the world. Americans should maintain a low profile, vary routes and times for all required travel, and treat mail and packages from unfamiliar sources with caution. In addition, U.S. citizens are urged to avoid contact with any suspicious, unfamiliar objects, and to report the presence of the objects to local authorities. Vehicles should not be left unattended, if at all possible, and should be kept locked at all times. U.S. Government personnel overseas have been advised to take the same precautions. In addition, U.S. Government facilities may temporarily close or suspend public services from time to time as necessary to review their security posture and ensure its adequacy.

Taking photographs of potentially-sensitive military or civilian sites, and/or engaging in mapping activities, especially mapping which includes the use of GPS equipment, without coordination with UAE authorities, may result in arrest, detention and/or prosecution by local authorities.

For the latest security information, Americans traveling abroad should regularly monitor the Department's Internet web site at http://travel.state.gov where the current Worldwide Caution Public Announcement, Middle East and North Africa Public Announcement, Travel Warnings and other Public Announcements can be found.

Up-to-date information on safety and security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll free in the U.S., or for callers outside the U.S. and Canada, a regular toll-line at 1-202-501-4444. These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).

The Department of State urges American citizens to take responsibility for their own personal security while traveling overseas. For general information about appropriate measures travelers can take to protect themselves in an overseas environment, see the Department of State's pamphlet A Safe Trip Abroad at http://travel.state.gov/travel/tips/safety/safety_1747.html.
http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1050.html

One more thing. Bush said he didn't know about the deal before the weekend, yet a secret agreement was made to push this deal through, where the UAE company had to agree to some concessions. This wasn't important enough to involve Bush?

Media Still Behind on Port's Deal

Now that the Port's deal finally made front page news, I'm still noticing that the media is missing the boat on a few crucial issues. Maybe I'm just ahead of the game.

Dubai Ports World is borrowing the money to become a major security risk in America:

DP World, $6.5bn loan for P&O
United Arab Emirates: Saturday, February 18 - 2006 at 10:34
State owned Dubai Ports World is to raise $6.5bn next week to fund its purchase of Dubai Ports World, a $200m revolving credit facility and $6.3bn five-year syndicated loan, the largest ever loan facility raised in the Middle East. Barclays Capital and Deutsche Bank are joint lead arrangers, with some 30 banks expected to take part in the syndication.

I lost a lot of respect for Bill O'Reilly when I heard him last night calling the UAE America's best ally in the Middle East and he thought it was disasterous to back out of this deal because it will offend the Arabs. "Offend the Arabs?," if it isn't this, it will be another thing. The last thing anyone should worry about is dancing on eggshells avoiding offending Arabs.
As far as the UAE being friends of the USA, check out the Zogby Poll results from an October poll (Partially Sponsored by Young Arab Leaders and The Arab American Institute). 500 interviews conducted in UAE, from Oct. 18-24, 2005 in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Sharjah. Of these, 101 were Emirati citizens. Slight weights were applied to religion, age, education, nationality, and city to more accurately reflect the adult population. MOE for the sample of 101 is +/- 10.0 percentage points:

Please tell me if your overall impression of each is very favorable, somewhat favorable, somewhat unfavorable, or very unfavorable, or if you are not familiar enough to form a judgment.

Favorable 32%... Unfavorable 66%

In the past year, how has your attitude towards the United States changed? Is it now…?

Better 8%...Worse 58%...Same 31%

How can you let a state owned company run 6 ports in America when two thirds of the people from that state owned company admittedly hold the USA in disfavor?

One more thing, from what the US Committee on Foreign Investments, has only turned down 1 deal out of 1500 ("In the 17 years since it was created, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the U.S. has completed reviews of more than 1,500 foreign takeovers. Of those, it has forwarded only 12 for presidential review. And only one--a Chinese takeover of a Seattle aerospace parts-maker--was rejected, in 1990 by President George H.W. Bush.") They make their decisions based on business and economics, not security. I've yet to see any evidence that this deal was scrutinized by Homeland Security.

I'm a firm believer that the majority of Americans voted Republican, not George Bush Jr., in the last election. And now Bush's two strongest allies in this Ports deal are the UAE and Jimmy Carter. If a US Presidential election was to be held tomorrow, Bush would get 2% of the popular vote because of his stance here.

Free trade and capitalism is one thing, but the line has to be drawn because of the War on Terror. Would it be acceptable if the UAE bought airplane schools, nuclear plants or anthrax manufacturing facilities in the US too? I'm pretty sure the Committee on Foreign Investment would approve the deals as being clean.

What Happens to a Jihadist When He Carries Out a Suicide Bombing because of the Mohammed Cartoons?

HE GETS 72 CARTOON VIRGINS, OF COURSE.

Thanks to Val M. for putting the picture together, making my idea a reality.

Thanks Capt. Diggs for this link(Contains foul language)

Putting the cartoon Jihad in perspective.

I Entered The Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoon Contest

Israeli group announces anti-Semitic cartoons contest! "We'll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published!" said Amitai Sandy(graphic artist and publisher of Dimona Comix Publishing, from Tel-Aviv, Israel) "No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!"

I figure, that as an Atheist Jew, I was obligated to enter a cartoon(did I find the 614th Mitzvah?). As everyone can tell, art isn't one of my strongest points, and of course I know I have no shot at winning, but you only live once.

IT'S OFFICIAL: JEWS DO NOT CONTROL THE MEDIA

I don't pretend to know everything. I like to think that I know a little about everything. OK, I know a lot about some things too, but US politics is not on this list.
Less than a week ago I read about the acquisition of the operations of 6 US ports for 6.8 billion dollars by Dubai Ports World via Bane's blog. Huh? WTF? was my first reaction, and it is still my reaction.
Here is what Instapundit.com states:

"The city's ports, considered a major target of terrorists, are about to be taken over by a firm based in the United Arab Emirates, a country with financial links to the Sept. 11 hijackers.
Dubai Ports World is set to complete a $6.8 billion deal to purchase Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co., a London company that already runs commercial port operations in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans and Miami."

From Northjersey.com,Senator Robert Menendez and Hilary Clinton will attempt to block this deal, that apparently was approved by the Bush administration, by introducing legislation that would bar companies owned or controlled by foreign governments from buying port operations in the United States.

The article concludes with this: Menendez alleged that, in addition to the UAE's Sept. 11 connection, Dubai has served as a transfer point for shipments of nuclear components to Iran, North Korea and Libya.
"The Bush administration has neglected port security for years, and now they're ready to turn port operations over to the control of a foreign government that is a known transit point for smuggled nuclear technology," Menendez said.

How can Bush be pushing so drastically for the Patriot Act on one hand, while on the other hand, opening up the ports to who knows what? What am I missing? And why is this being silenced by the so called "Jewish controlled media?"

UPDATE
Lots of comments can be found at Think Progress. Here is a taste of it:

"The Bush administration considers the UAE an important ally in the fight against terrorism since the suicide hijackings"

"The UAE has been a key transfer point for illegal shipments of nuclear components to Iran, North Korea and Lybia," "According to the FBI, money was transferred to the 9/11 hijackers through the UAE banking system," "After 9/11, the Treasury Department reported that the UAE was not cooperating in efforts to track down Osama Bin Laden’s bank accounts."


If I were a Democrat, I would be all over this. If I were a Republican I would be embarrassed. Michelle Malkin has a beat on this story at least. BTW, I've notice some pro-Bush blogs have totally ignored this story.....Hmmmmmm

POLL TIME

Thanks to My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy for pointing out this poll.

THE FATE OF ISLAM POLL This poll was inspired from this article Toying with Genocide Before you answer the "What percentage of Muslims are radicals" you may want to read this article about Middle East countries craving Sharia law When will an Islamic terrorist use a WMD against the West?? 0-5 Years 5-20 Years >20 Years Never What percentage of Middle East Muslims are radical? (In this case radical = likes Bin Laden or enjoyed 9/11 attacks on the U.S.) <1%1-10% 11-25% 25-50% 51-75% >75% When an Islamic radical uses a WMD against the West and he kills 1+ million people, what should the West do? Send Islamists a harshly worded letter from the UN (aka the French solution)Nukel 1 million Islamists and incinerate all Islam holy sitesNuke 10 million Islamists + holy sitesNuke 100 million Islamists + holy sitesNuke all Islamists (1 billion or so) + holy sitesNuke all Islamists (1 billion or so) + Islamist eliminations in Western world When we have to nuke the whole Middle East (excluding Israel) how long will you feel sad? < 1 minute < 1 day < 1 month < 1 year > 1 year Note to other website owners: You can add this poll to your site and the numbers will keep adding up correctly across all the sites. Just open page source and search for "pollstart", and then copy & paste through "pollend" .

Middle East Literacy and IQ Rates

Is it any wonder that the world is walking on eggshells with the Arab/Muslim world?
Take the cartoon outrage. The cartoons that caused all the havoc recently were published in an Egyptian newspaper in October, and as reported on the Rantings of a Sankmonkey blog, the Muslim world wasn't upset at all by it.

The Arab/Muslim world seems to just follow their leaders. The leaders who preach that the West is the cause for their plight. And these same leaders live in the lap of luxury as their people live in academic and financial oppression.

Here are some Middle Eastern IQ and literacy rates to look at:

COUNTRY .... LITERACY RATE......AVERAGE IQ

Bahrain................. 85 ................... 83
Egypt ................... 51 ................... 83
Iran ..................... 71 ................... 84
Iraq ..................... 58 ................... 87
Israel ................... 95 ................... 94
Jordan .................. 86 .................. 87
Kuwait .................. 79 .................. 83
Lebanon ................ 83 .................. 86
Oman .................... 64 .................. 83
Qatar .................... 79 .................. 78
Saudi Arabia ........... 71 .................. 83
Syria ..................... 70 .................. 87
Turkey ................... 82 .................. 90
United Arab Emirates . 79 .................. 83

Canada has a 97% literacy rate, the USA has a literacy rate of 99%.
Canada has an IQ average of 97 and the USA has an average of 98. Of course, the countries with the highest percentage of Atheists(Europe for the most part), have the highest IQ averages. But that goes without saying.

C'mon moron; get your story straight

Nobody ever said Jew haters were very bright to begin with.

The Insult Law

Thank Al for bringing this article from The American Spectator to my attention. Jackie Mason is hysterical.

Live From New York
Insult Law
By Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder
Published 2/14/2006 12:08:58 AM

The Muslims have pronounced their verdict. The cartoon man has been found guilty. The real crime is, of course, not being a Muslim. Now that they have established the crime, they have also pronounced the sentence. Even if you never saw or heard of the cartoon, you deserve to be hit with rocks, your car wrecked, and your embassies destroyed because you are an infidel -- and incidentally, there are no appeals. There was even television coverage of a Muslim religious leader screaming in some unintelligible language. However, on the bottom of the screen the translation appeared. This religious leader was shouting that whoever drew the cartoon should have his hands cut off. This hardly seems for us to be a reasonable penalty for somebody taking a piece of paper, picking up a pen, and drawing something.

Could you picture a Jew doing something like this? Ironically, the cartoonists were not even condemning Islam, they were merely creating a satire of a terrorist. They weren't insulting their religion, they were satirizing a fanatic. But, the Muslims have decided that there are no laws, limits, or boundaries that apply to their behavior. They not only have the right to take your life, they now have the right to rob you of your freedom of expression.

Could you picture a Jew killing anybody for such meaningless reasons? If a Jew gets mad he might sneak into your house and steal your lipitor or he would make a deal with your doctor to lie about your cholesterol number, or just when you have fasted a whole day on Yom Kippur when you finally could eat you would find that he snuck into your house and stole all your pastrami sandwiches.

I never saw a Jew going into meaningless fights. That is why you seldom see Jewish football players. A Jew is not going to take a chance in spraining his neck or tearing a ligament in his knee or wrinkling his clothes just because he was fighting with somebody about catching a ball. He would rather go to a store and buy another ball and avoid the whole problem. That is why there are also no Jewish hockey players. Hockey players spend all their time hitting each other in the mouth with sticks. When Jews saw how Gentiles played hockey that is how Jews found out that instead of becoming a hockey player they would become dentists, and that way they decided to let other people play the game while they found a way to make a profit from it.

Jews are never known to get into unnecessary physical battles. That is why people are never afraid of being attacked by a Jew. Did you ever hear anybody say,

"Don't go into that neighborhood it is very dangerous, there are a lot of Jews there?"

Jews have for so long been accustomed to being threatened and persecuted all over the world that they could never dream of creating needless violence anywhere because they would be grateful to even find a place where they are allowed to live in peace. Jews could never dream of threatening innocent people with inexcusable violence. Meanwhile the rest of the world is reacting to the Muslims with an amazing cowardice. Instead of a collective fury, we are pleading for forgiveness, and promising not to offend them with any more cartoons. Could anything be more perverted? The same people who are not offended by suicide bombers and terrorist killings, murder, mayhem, and destruction around the world have now decided that a cartoon... "OY VEY IS THIS TERRIBLE!"

Everyday Muslim and European newspapers insult and degrade Jews as animals and rodents, which is not only insulting but, additionally, encourages the hatred of Jews. But did you ever hear any Jewish authority anywhere demanding that we find any of these cartoonists so that we can choke them to death or cut them up. Did you ever hear of an Israeli death squad searching for a cartoonist? If the Jewish people applied the same insult standard requiring a death sentence no Muslim would be safe now, anywhere in the world. Could you picture a Jew deciding that he has the right to kill but you have no right to draw an insulting picture?

Nobody has ever died from a cartoon. If the worst thing the Nazis ever did had been to draw cartoons of death camps instead of putting Jews in them, six million Jews would be alive today. When was the last time any country decided to kill a Muslim anywhere in the world because they felt insulted? But the Muslims have created a new international law called the "insult law." This means they have the right to kill you whenever they please, and you have no right to do anything about it. If a Muslim were walking down a street in Israel with a picture of an insulting cartoon in hand, no Israeli would threaten his life. They would be too busy celebrating the fact that it was a cartoon and not a bomb.


Jackie Mason is a comedian. Raoul Felder is an attorney.

Time to Gizoogle the Qur'an

This is chapter 47 after it has been Gizoogled(translated into Jive).

THE CHAPTER OF MOHAMMED, ALSO CALLED FIGHT
(XLVII. Medinah.)

IN tha name of tha merciful n compassionate God. Those who misbelieve n tizzle fizzle frizzay God�s way, He will makes they works go wrong . You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. But those who believe n do rizzay n believe in what is revealed ta Mohammed,-and it is tha trizzay F-R-to-tha-izzom they Lord,-He wizzle cracka fo` them they offences n set right they mind. Thizzay is coz those who misbelieve follow falsehood, n those who believe follow tha truth fizzy they Lord fo all my homies in the pen. Thus does God set fizzorth fo` men they parables.

And when ye meet those who misbelievizzle steppin' off heezees until ye hizzy massacred them, n bind fiznast tha bonds! Thizzay baller a fizzy grizzay (of liberty) or a ransom until tha war S-H-to-tha-izzall have laid dizzle its burdens. That!-but if God pleaze He would conqua them-but (it is) that He may try some of you by tha playa. And those who is slain in God�s cause, they works shall not go wrong; He wizzle guide thiznem n set right they mind; n W-to-tha-izzill makes them enta into Paradise W-H-to-tha-izzich He has told tizzy of. O ye who believe! if ye hizzle Gizzay He will hizzay you, n wizzle makes fizzy yo footsteps fo my bling bling.

But as fo` those who misbelieve-confound tizzy! n He W-to-tha-izzill makes they works go wrizzong.
That is coz they were averse fizzy wizzy God has revealed; but they works shall be void n we out!
Have tizzle not journeyed through tha land n seen how was tha end of those before tizzle? God destroyed them; n fo` tha misbelieva is tha like thereof . Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin'.
Tizzy is coz God is tha patron of those who believe, n coz tha shot calla have no patron.
Verily, God causes those who believe n do R-to-tha-izzight ta bitch into gardens beneath whizzay riva flow; but those who misbelieve enjoy themselves n eat as tha cattle eat; but tha fizzle is tha resort fo` T-H-to-tha-izzem thats off tha hook yo!

How many a city, stronga than thy city W-H-to-tha-izzich has driven tizzle out, hizzle we destroyed, n there was none ta hizzy thizzay . Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T! Is he who rests upon a manifest S-to-tha-izzign from his Lord like hizzy tha evil of whose works is made seemly ta him, n who follow they lusts? The similitude of Paradise W-H-to-tha-izzich is promised ta tha pious,-in it is riva of gangsta witout corruption, n riva of milk, tha taste whereof changes niznot, n riva of wizzy delishizzous ta those who drink; n riva of honey clarified; n there shiznall they have all kinds of fruit n forgivizzles from they Lord . Tru niggaz do niggaz! (Is that) like him who dwells in tha fire fo` aye? n who is given ta drizzink boil'n brotha that shall rend they bowels playa?

Some of thizzem there is who listen ta thee, until whizzay they go fiznorth fizzy thee they say ta those who have been given tha knowledge, �What is this which he sez nizzow?� These is those on whose hearts God has set a stamp n who follow they lusts . Holla!. But those who is guided, He guides tizzy tha more, n gives them tha due of they piety cuz its a G thang.
Do they wait fo` aught but tha Hour, that it should come ta them suddenly? The conditions thereof have come already; hizzle whiznen it has come on them, can they have they poser?
Kizzy tizzy thiznat there is no god but God; n ask pardon fo` thy sin n fo` tha believa, men n bitchez; fo` God knows yo return n yo resort in tha mutha phuckin club!

Those who misbelieve say, �Why has not a surah been revealed?� but whizzay a decisive surah is revealed n pimpin' is mentioned therein, tizzy mayest see those in whose heart is sickness clockin' towards tizzle wit tha look of one cruisin' in death . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. Preferable fo` tizzle were obedience n a reasonable speech! But wizzle tha crazy ass nigga is determined on, then if they believed God it were betta fo` tizzle . Aint no stoppin' this shiit nigga. Would ye perhaps, if ye had turned bizzack, have done evil in tha land n severed tha bonds of kinship?
It is these wizzy God has cursed, n has made tizzy deaf, n has blinded they eyesight! Do they not peruse tha Koran? or is there locks upon they hearts?
Verily, those who tizzay they backs crazy ass nigga tha guidance tizzy has bizzy manifested ta them-Satan induces them,- but (God) lets thiznem go �On fo` a time straight from long beach nigga!
Thiznat is fo` that they say ta those who is averse fizzy what God has revealed, �We wizzle obey you in part of tha affair!� but God knows they secrets . Hollaz to the East Side! How wiznill it be when tha angels takes they souls, sippin' they faces n they backs?
This is coz they follow what brotha God n is averse from His goodwill; n they works is void . Boo-Yaa!.
Do those in whose hearts is sickness reckon tizzle God wizzill not bring they malice forth?

But did we pleaze we would show tizzy thiznem, n tizzle shouldst know tizzle by they cognisizzles . Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. But tizzle shalt K-N-to-tha-izzown them by they distort'n they speech, n God knows they works ta help you tap dat ass! But we wizzay try you until we know those among you who fiznight strenuously n tha patient; n we wizzay try tha reports concern'n you cuz its a doggy dog world.
Verily, those who misbelieve n tizzle folks off God�s piznath, n break wit tha Apostle afta tha guidance T-H-to-tha-izzat has been manifested ta them, cannot hizzarm God at all, n they works shizzall be void! O ye who believe cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map! obey Gizzy n obey tha Apostle; n makes not yo works vain.
Verily, those who misbelieve n turn folks off God�s P-to-tha-izzath, n then die misbelieva, God will not pardon tizzy . Nigga get shut up or get wet up.
T-H-to-tha-izzen faint nizzle nor cry fo` peace while ye have tha uppa hand; fo` God is wit you n wizzay not cheat you of yo works! The life of this world is but a play n a sport; but if ye believe n fizzy God, He will give you yo hire fo my bling bling. He does not ask you fo` (izzay yo property; if He wizzy ta ask you fo` it n ta press you, ye would be niggardly, n he would bring yo malice out fo shizzle.
Here is ye called upon ta expend in God�s cause, n among you is some who is niggardly; n he who is niggardly is but niggardly against his own soul: but God is rizzle n ye is poor, n if ye turn yo backs He wizzill substitute cracka thugz in yo stead, T-H-to-tha-izzen they wizzay not be like you if you gots a paper stack.

Oh Yeah, It's Valentines Day Today

I almost forgot to make a Valentines Day e-card for my beloved wife. I know what everyone is thinking; I'm such a romantic.

T-Shirt Hell

Hey is this some kind of appeasement T-shirt? Well at least one Minister isn't fooling around:ROME (Reuters) - Italy's Reform Minister Roberto Calderoli has had T-shirts made emblazoned with cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad.

Does God Make Bets?

With Gretzky in the news, Bacon asks God if he gambles.

EXCELLENT EDITORIAL ON THE PALESTINIANS

Special thanks to Elder of Ziyon for finding this article from The Detroit News.
I had to post it here too, because I can't find one thing in this work that I can disagree with.

Palestinians failed democracy, not the other way around

Nolan Finley /
February 5, 2006

Democracy didn't fail when the Palestinians used their first truly free vote to install terrorist leaders. The Palestinians failed. Again.

Those who see the Hamas victory as evidence that democracy is not the answer for all people in all places ignore the unique nature of the Palestinians. They lack a key ingredient for sustaining freedom - self-interest.

The Palestinians' lust for Jewish blood is stronger than their desire to lead peaceful, secure lives, to rule an independent state, to lift themselves out of their misery.

That, given the opportunity, they would give their votes to terrorists should not be a shock. This is the same people who deified Yasser Arafat, the father of modern-day terrorism.

Terror defines Palestinians

Under Arafat, terrorism became an inseparable part of the Palestinian identity. He perfected the use of terror as a means of gaining a political wedge, proving that those willing to shed blood without relenting, without remorse and without regard to external pressure will be rewarded with a seat at the table.

Their suicide bombers should have made the Palestinians international pariahs. Instead, apologists depicted the violence as the natural response of a persecuted people. The excuses invited more terror, from more sources and in more places.

Even the Bush administration pretended that the Palestinians were the victims of terrorists within their midst, but beyond their control. The Hamas victory makes it impossible to sustain that pretense.

The Palestinians knew what Hamas was when they gave it their votes. They chose terror over peace, just as they did five years ago when they answered Arafat's call to unleash a brutal wave of terror to cover his impotence at the bargaining table.

The defenders of terror are now spinning a new scenario, one that has Hamas morphing into a political organization and renouncing violence.

Hamas is unrepentant

But note that Hamas is not saying that. Its leaders remain committed to wiping the Jewish blot from the Middle East.

Even if Hamas mouthed the right words, who could believe that it has suddenly turned away from decades of violence?

Terrorism is the history of the Palestinian people, and it will be their future if they are allowed to again slip past the supposed zero-tolerance policy on terror.

Hamas is no different from al-Qaida. Both are terrorist groups, and both target innocent victims.

It was considered in the interest of world stability to smash the al-Qaida-backed Taliban government in Afghanistan. Why isn't it similarly desirable to smash the Hamas government in the Palestinian territories?

Hamas doesn't want to lead, it wants to kill, and has done so in more than 200 terrorist attacks against Israel during the past five years, including dozens of suicide bombings.

Pretending Hamas can be something other than it is will only lead to more killing.

Nolan Finley is The News' editorial page editor. Contact him at nfinley@detnews.com or 313-222-2064. Watch Nolan Finley on "Am I Right?" at 8:30 p.m. Fridays on Detroit Public TV, Ch. 56.

I'm wondering if Elder of Ziyon and Treppenwitz are having some kind of clash of egos. I have noticed that neither of them put each other down on their Blogrolls. I may have missed it, but I looked a couple of times. I can understand Elder not putting Treppenwitz's Blog on his roll because it is pretty boring bland stuff, I'm thinking of going there if I ever have insomnia again. Totally different from Elder's Blog, which is an absolute wealth of great news, facts, and opinions.
In fact Elder linked a post by Trep on his blog about Amona, and he was in total agreement with Trep by the looks of it. Oh yeah before I forget, Happy Valentine's Day Trep.

Will This Cartoon Cause a Christian JIHAD?

I don't expect that this cartoon will cause any of my Christian friends to burn embassies or go on a murder spree. Only because Christians aren't....do I need to finish the sentence?

Three Guesses

What is this commercial for?

1. A fine European car.

2. Viagra.

3. One hour optical.

The new Pope is moving in the right direction

Watch the edited version of the South Park Bloody Mary video here.


I'm starting to like this Pope. First he examines a statue of Mother Mary on South Park and he winds up declaring: "A chick bleeding out her vagina is no miracle. Chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time"--Pope Benedict XVI.. Now he declares "science no threat to faith." Outside of the fact that he was in the Hitler Yoot and he is against Aids infected Africans wearing condoms, he isn't that bad a guy.

Fatwah Against Goofy For Breaking Dishes

I found this interesting essay on racism in cartoons from 2004, where the author complains that Arabs were victims of double standards when it came to censorship. But aside from his complaints which seem ridiculous in light of what is happening now, there are some really nostalgic clips available. Here, Goofy and Donald Duck have a conflict with an Arab mirage. This was back in 1947, the year before Israel became a reality. The thing is, after knowing what we know now, was it really racism? This Bugs and Daffy cartoon is just too funny. Bugs looking for Pizmo Beach winds up in Arabia with a very greedy Daffy and they encounter a dimwitted Arab.
"Hassan chop" makes me laugh more now than it did when I was a kid. Good thing a horny Donald Duck got ripped off watching just one virgin duck dancing for him in this 1941 Disney short. Remember, this is just one and not 72 as promised by those who brainwash teenagers into blowing themselves up. And finally Popeye is called into action in this 1937 flick to confront the thieving Abu Hassan, "who will still your women and children too." The song at the beginning of the cartoon sounds like Abu Asshole. But maybe I am just hearing what I want to hear. This cartoon is longer than the others. Ah, remember the good old days, when Arabs were portrayed as blood thirsty hate mongers and the only oil was in Texas.

Scientific Facts Fundies Would Accept (if only they were only true)

Breastfeeding a female baby increases the chances that she becomes a lesbian by 5 times.

Not breastfeeding a male baby increases his chances of being a homosexual by 5 times.

Dinosaur fossils are found to be just weird rocks. And like snowflakes, no two weird rocks are alike.

Stars that you see at night are just an optical illusion like rainbows.

"Soul" found in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. The area of the soul is much larger in Christians than in Muslims or Jews. Atheists and monkeys, and other lower animals are missing this brain feature.

During near death experiences those who believe in God always see a white light. Atheists only see darkness. Muslims and Jews see a flashing yellow light.

Garden of Eden found in Iraq. A tree is found with "God was here 3761 BC" carved in it.

Those who take science in high school live 6 years less on average than those who don't take science.

Bacon and God: Attempt to insult other religions

Bacon tries to insult the major religions.

Dear Fundies, I'm curious about something.

First off, let me define Fundy. A Fundy is a religious fundamentalist who does not believe in the evolution of man and/or believes in a young earth. Someone who interprets his/her bible literally whether that bible is the OT, the NT, or the Koran.
Now for my questions. When you Fundies see scientific news, or just regular news about a new fossil find of an extinct life form, or stories that matter of factly peg the age of the universe or objects in the universe as billions of years old, do you simply dismiss these stories as fraudulent lies, and/or some sort of conspiracy, or do you just ignore these stories altogether?
Do you watch TV shows that "promote" the ancient universe and evolution? Do you just laugh at what they say on these shows, or do they make you angry, or do you shake your head and call them liars?
Are PBS, the Discovery Network, and the National Geographics station channel blocked in your household?
If you have children, and they are taught about evolution or an ancient universe, do you think about homeschooling them, and/or tell them their teachers are peddling lies, and/or ground the kid or intimidate the kid with threats of violence?
Just curious.

Super Bowl Predictions

I blew it two weeks ago. But the past is the past. I'm undefeated in the future.

Seattle belongs in the Super Bowl, they got a bye in the Wild Card round, Pittsburgh didn't.
I'll give the Steelers credit though, they exploited a weakness in Denver's secondary in the Conference Championships and made something like 8 or 9 third and longs in the first half, it was ugly to watch such exploitation. Denver figured it out at halftime, but it was too late, Pittsburgh changed their game plan once they had a three touchdown lead.
Seattle is like a hot knife on butter right now. They blew out Carolina, and the week before that manhandled Washington while their star Shaun Alexander was on the bench most of the game with a concussion.
Darrell Jackson, the second best receiver in football today, missed 10 games, but came to play in the playoffs so far. It is hard to say how good Seattle is. We'll find out today. Washington was a gimme to beat, and by shutting down Steve Smith while Carolina was forced to use the 4th running back on their depth charts for most of the game, in retrospect, they were easy to beat too. Pittsburgh has been extremely well coached as they gave Peyton Manning fits by figuring him out, but their conservatism almost cost them that game, and they went on to play a perfect game against Denver. Remember, a team that wins easy is never as good as they look.

Seattle will win the game 31-20.

Now for the props.

I got real good information that Seattle has been studying coin toss replays, and I expect them to use this knowledge to win the coin toss. They will receive.

Seattle will score first, in the first quarter on the first drive. Joey Jurevicius will catch a 36 yard TD.

Pittsburgh will kick a field goal in the last 2 minutes of the first half.

Seattle's defense will have 2 interceptions, one for a touchdown by Lofa Tatupu and one fumble recovery. Pittsburgh will have 1 interception and 1 fumble recovery.

Randle-El will have a completion, but it won't go for a touchdown.

Shaun Alexander will run for over 100 yards.

Willie Parker will run for 58 yards, Bettis will run for 12 yards.

Jeremy Stevens and Shaun Alexander will score TD's for Seattle.

The halftime score will be Seattle 17 Pittsburgh 10

There will be no special team scores.

Heath Miller and Willie Parker will score for Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh will score a final TD in the fourth quarter to make the game an over. But no one will score in the final 2 minutes. The game will end with Hasselbeck taking a couple of kneeldowns.

Fatwa over footy prints

This is from 1955. Does the Muslim uprising surprise anyone. Afterall, Yosemite Sam the Arab was trying to murder Bugs Bunny during this entire cartoon because Bugs got "footy-prints all over my nice clean desert." Mel Blanc the voice of Bugs, Yosemite, and Daffy must have had fun with this one, because chances are that Mel was a Zionist since he was a Jew.

Bugs, are you making a racist joke?

I'm not sure, but is this a towel head joke?

Bacon and God: Reaction over Mohammed Cartoons

Anti-semitic cartoons are found in the Arab press frequently. I expect it. That being said, I see nothing wrong with cartoons that portray Radical Islam in a terrible light: they should be printed daily by every paper as far as I'm concerned. I do have a problem with newspapers printing cartoons where the main reason is to piss off a certain group. I think a simple cartoon of Mohammed's image fits that definition. If the purpose of the cartoon is to antagonize a group, it shouldn't be in a public newspaper. But I have no problem these types of cartoons appear on blogs:)

My Take On Amona

I always look for an end result. I can't see an end result in the Israeli Palestine situation without defined borders. I can't see an end result that includes small settlements. Though painful in the short run, the only way an end result to the I/P situation will occur, is to place emotions aside, define the borders, keep as many Arabs outside of those borders and then defend those borders as the situation warrants it.
Without religious Jews, Israel loses it's identity and spirituality, without secular Jews, Israel becomes an Arab-only state.
Yesterdays display of emotion by the settlers and their supporters was identical to Rachel Corries actions (assuming she didn't know she was defending an arm's tunnel), or Palestinian rock throwers. It was shameful. I can't get over the mindset of those who attack their police, their protectors. Try that in Canada or the USA. The end result is that the settlers looked just like crazed Islamists and they were put on display on TV viewed throughout the world. And bottom line, they wound up dismantling anyways. Many IDF soldiers were injured. I can't say enough how disappointing and terrible this was.
Israel is a democracy. Lots of parties though, it is pretty much impossible to get a majority. An election is coming up. The biggest issue is going to be "not" dealing with Hamas. And this means finally putting those final borders into place because Israel clearly has no one to deal with. Smart choices are going to have to be made as to where the border goes. And it is imperative that yesterdays display is not repeated.
To me, the Gaza withdrawal and the withdrawal from any small settlements will help Israel defend herself in the future from attacks. These attacks though will now be deemed International acts of war, and not civil unrest. The last thing Israel needs is civil unrest from Jews. Decisions are made by the government to remove some settlements, and they should be viewed in the same manner as they were when they were built.
Let me ask a very hypothetical question to the Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Jews that believe the disputed territory is Holy land: If you could guarantee that not one more Jew would die as result of an Arab bullet, missile or bomb, would you give up the territories?